SimplyScripts Discussion Board
Blog Home - Produced Movie Script Library - TV Scripts - Unproduced Scripts - Contact - Site Map
ScriptSearch
Welcome, Guest.
It is July 9th, 2025, 4:30am
Please login or register.
Was Portal Recent Posts Home Help Calendar Search Register Login
The primary purpose of the SimplyScripts Discussion Board is the discussion of unproduced screenplays. If you are a producer or director lookng for your next project, the works here are available for option, purchase or production only if you receive permission from the author.

NOTE: these screenplays are NOT in the public domain and MAY NOT be used or reproduced for any purpose (including eductional purposes) without the expressed written permission of the author.

New to SimplyScripts? - Tell us about yourself! | How does this discussion board work? - FAQs! | Submit Your Script
The July 2025 One Week Challenge comes, soon.

How do I get my film's link and banner here?
Short Script of the Day | Featured Shorts Available for Production | Guidelines and Censorship | Produced Script Database | Oscar Winning Screenplays through the Ages | WGA Top 101 Screenplays

Forum Login
Username: Create a new Account
Password:     Forgot Password

SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Screenwriting Discussion    Review My Logline  ›  The Dead Body - Logline Help Moderators: LC
Users Browsing Forum
No Members and 2 Guests

 Pages: 1
Recommend Print
  Author    The Dead Body - Logline Help  (currently 6254 views)
Zombie Sean
Posted: October 12th, 2021, 7:00am Report to Moderator
Old Timer


R.I.P.

Location
I said Texas, she said What?
Posts
1639
Posts Per Day
0.23
Hey All,

Currently finishing up a feature (or trying to, before Halloween) of an anthology of horror stories. I'm struggling with how I should write the logline, and how much of each story I should include, if any.

Right now this is the logline I have:

A dead body being passed from one occupation worker to the next torments those who handle him.

Any help would be appreciated.

Sean


Find all my scripts here

Read my novel and my novella
Logged
Private Message
Yuvraj
Posted: October 12th, 2021, 8:01am Report to Moderator
Been Around



Location
Why you wanna know?
Posts
811
Posts Per Day
0.40
Hey, Sean, this is the first interaction between us.  

From the logline, I get a 'John/Jane Doe' vibe from it. Just having the logline as of now, I assume that -- it is an unknown dead body? No identity? And if that is the case then, the logline needs a bit more impact to it, imo.

Kinda like -- Torment plagues occupational workers when an unidentified dead body is discovered. Don't know if the 'occupational workers' is the right term.  

And if it is a known dead body then, you should mention some kind of identity.


Logged
Private Message Reply: 1 - 10
bert
Posted: October 12th, 2021, 9:09am Report to Moderator
Administrator


Buy the ticket, take the ride

Location
That's me in the corner
Posts
4252
Posts Per Day
0.58

Quoted from Zombie Sean

A dead body being passed from one occupation worker to the next torments those who handle him.


Hey Sean.  Quick take.  Passive language.  Lose "being."


Hey, it's my tiny, little IMDb!
Logged
Private Message Reply: 2 - 10
SAC
Posted: October 12th, 2021, 9:23am Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients



Location
Upstate NY
Posts
3540
Posts Per Day
0.78
I think I need a little background here as to why the body is being passed along from person to person. I mean… I don’t know what I mean. Why? Do you mean from like a morgue worker at the hospital to a funeral home worker to drive it to the funeral home, where it ends up with a funeral director? What kind of things are happening? Odd things? Bad luck? Are people being killed here? What gives?


Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 3 - 10
Zombie Sean
Posted: October 12th, 2021, 11:26am Report to Moderator
Old Timer


R.I.P.

Location
I said Texas, she said What?
Posts
1639
Posts Per Day
0.23
Hey guys,

Thanks so far.

Yuvraj, The Dead Body has an identity, but I want to keep it hidden up until the very end, if at all ever revealed. I have reasoning for why he's never given a name. I, too, don't know if occupational workers should be the term used.

Bert, thanks for that quick tip. I'll lose it.

Steven, bingo. It's being passed on from the driver who picks up the body, to the mortician who works on the body, to the funeral director who conducts the body's service, circling back to the family of the body where we find out why the body is tormenting everyone it encounters. They're odd, disturbing, bad things (but fortunately, NOBODY is killed in this script...)

Sean


Find all my scripts here

Read my novel and my novella
Logged
Private Message Reply: 4 - 10
Zombie Sean
Posted: October 12th, 2021, 11:28am Report to Moderator
Old Timer


R.I.P.

Location
I said Texas, she said What?
Posts
1639
Posts Per Day
0.23
Here's a quick synopsis I had written about this script a while ago:

Four stories. Four secrets. One body that holds them all.

Part 1: The Driver
A mortuary transport technician has a disturbing conversation with the dead body he has picked up that night.

Part 2: The Mortician
Once the dead body is dropped off at the mortuary, the mortician working on him is haunted by her dark past.

Part 3: The Director
The funeral director working the skeleton crew must maintain his sanity before the family arrives for the dead body's ceremony.

Part 4: The Family
The dead body's family attends the ceremony, where they all hold one story of what happened on the night the man died.


Find all my scripts here

Read my novel and my novella
Logged
Private Message Reply: 5 - 10
SAC
Posted: October 12th, 2021, 2:22pm Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients



Location
Upstate NY
Posts
3540
Posts Per Day
0.78

Quoted from Zombie Sean


Steven, bingo. It's being passed on from the driver who picks up the body, to the mortician who works on the body, to the funeral director who conducts the body's service, circling back to the family of the body where we find out why the body is tormenting everyone it encounters. They're odd, disturbing, bad things (but fortunately, NOBODY is killed in this script...)

Sean


Like it!!


Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 6 - 10
steven8
Posted: March 6th, 2022, 10:22pm Report to Moderator
Old Timer


The Ed Wood of Simply Scripts

Location
Barberton, OH
Posts
1191
Posts Per Day
0.21
An unidentified corpse exudes a mysterious aura that exposes the tortured souls of all who come in contact with it.
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 7 - 10
Zombie Sean
Posted: March 7th, 2022, 12:32pm Report to Moderator
Old Timer


R.I.P.

Location
I said Texas, she said What?
Posts
1639
Posts Per Day
0.23

Quoted from steven8
An unidentified corpse exudes a mysterious aura that exposes the tortured souls of all who come in contact with it.


The corpse is identifiable, we just never know his name. The rest of it is really good! Thank you The script has already been posted but I could ramp up the logline…


Find all my scripts here

Read my novel and my novella
Logged
Private Message Reply: 8 - 10
steven8
Posted: March 8th, 2022, 2:37am Report to Moderator
Old Timer


The Ed Wood of Simply Scripts

Location
Barberton, OH
Posts
1191
Posts Per Day
0.21

Quoted from Zombie Sean


The corpse is identifiable, we just never know his name. The rest of it is really good! Thank you The script has already been posted but I could ramp up the loglineďż˝


I'm glad you liked it.  This is all practice for me.  I thought your idea was intriguing, and wanted to take a stab at the logline.  The art of writing a logline is amazing.  I'll have to go check out your script!!
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 9 - 10
eldave1
Posted: March 9th, 2022, 1:33pm Report to Moderator
January Project Group



Location
Southern California
Posts
6972
Posts Per Day
1.75

Just another suggestion to chew over:

A dead man casts a dark shadow on all who handle his corpse from his home to his grave.


My Scripts can all be seen here:

https://dlambertson.wixsite.com/scripts
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 10 - 10
 Pages: 1
Recommend Print

Locked Board Board Index    Review My Logline  [ previous | next ] Switch to:
Was Portal Recent Posts Home Help Calendar Search Register Login

Forum Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post polls
You may not post attachments
HTML is on
Blah Code is on
Smilies are on
Powered by E-Blah Platinum 9.71B © 2001-2006