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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Screenwriting Discussion    Review My Logline  ›  The Dead Body - Logline Help Moderators: LC
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  Author    The Dead Body - Logline Help  (currently 85 views)
Zombie Sean
Posted: October 12th, 2021, 7:00am Report to Moderator
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Hey All,

Currently finishing up a feature (or trying to, before Halloween) of an anthology of horror stories. I'm struggling with how I should write the logline, and how much of each story I should include, if any.

Right now this is the logline I have:

A dead body being passed from one occupation worker to the next torments those who handle him.

Any help would be appreciated.

Sean


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Yuvraj
Posted: October 12th, 2021, 8:01am Report to Moderator
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Hey, Sean, this is the first interaction between us.  

From the logline, I get a 'John/Jane Doe' vibe from it. Just having the logline as of now, I assume that -- it is an unknown dead body? No identity? And if that is the case then, the logline needs a bit more impact to it, imo.

Kinda like -- Torment plagues occupational workers when an unidentified dead body is discovered. Don't know if the 'occupational workers' is the right term.  

And if it is a known dead body then, you should mention some kind of identity.


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bert
Posted: October 12th, 2021, 9:09am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Zombie Sean

A dead body being passed from one occupation worker to the next torments those who handle him.


Hey Sean.  Quick take.  Passive language.  Lose "being."


Hey, it's my tiny, little IMDb!
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SteveClark
Posted: October 12th, 2021, 9:23am Report to Moderator
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I think I need a little background here as to why the body is being passed along from person to person. I mean… I don’t know what I mean. Why? Do you mean from like a morgue worker at the hospital to a funeral home worker to drive it to the funeral home, where it ends up with a funeral director? What kind of things are happening? Odd things? Bad luck? Are people being killed here? What gives?


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Zombie Sean
Posted: October 12th, 2021, 11:26am Report to Moderator
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Hey guys,

Thanks so far.

Yuvraj, The Dead Body has an identity, but I want to keep it hidden up until the very end, if at all ever revealed. I have reasoning for why he's never given a name. I, too, don't know if occupational workers should be the term used.

Bert, thanks for that quick tip. I'll lose it.

Steven, bingo. It's being passed on from the driver who picks up the body, to the mortician who works on the body, to the funeral director who conducts the body's service, circling back to the family of the body where we find out why the body is tormenting everyone it encounters. They're odd, disturbing, bad things (but fortunately, NOBODY is killed in this script...)

Sean


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Zombie Sean
Posted: October 12th, 2021, 11:28am Report to Moderator
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Here's a quick synopsis I had written about this script a while ago:

Four stories. Four secrets. One body that holds them all.

Part 1: The Driver
A mortuary transport technician has a disturbing conversation with the dead body he has picked up that night.

Part 2: The Mortician
Once the dead body is dropped off at the mortuary, the mortician working on him is haunted by her dark past.

Part 3: The Director
The funeral director working the skeleton crew must maintain his sanity before the family arrives for the dead body's ceremony.

Part 4: The Family
The dead body's family attends the ceremony, where they all hold one story of what happened on the night the man died.


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SteveClark
Posted: October 12th, 2021, 2:22pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Zombie Sean


Steven, bingo. It's being passed on from the driver who picks up the body, to the mortician who works on the body, to the funeral director who conducts the body's service, circling back to the family of the body where we find out why the body is tormenting everyone it encounters. They're odd, disturbing, bad things (but fortunately, NOBODY is killed in this script...)

Sean


Like it!!


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