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Here’s a new one I just finished. Thoughts anyone? Thanks in advance— Steve
Tired of the bumps and bruises, a Hollywood stunt woman returns home in search of a reset, but gets more than that when she lands a job to help develop a life-changing leg brace and falls for its inventor. But a hard deadline, and a lucrative offer to return to Hollywood, threatens to upend her romance and her life
Steve, Gets more than that would typically in movie-speak be: ...gets more than she bargained for.
That’s why I said it that way. Figured it’d be too cliche with bargained for, but I could be wrong.
Just saying. Wow! Interesting premise with the leg brace.
Yeah. Trying to think out of the box. It’s my understand that they don’t want the same old stuff — fashion designer, book publisher, etc. trying to give ‘em something maybe they haven’t seen before.
A Hollywood stuntwoman returns home but, instead of the envisioned rest, she lands a job developing a life-changing leg brace and falls for its nerdy-but-hot inventor. However, a lucrative deal with Hollywood beckons, threatening to upend her blossoming romance.
Possibly total crap, but it was fun trying to rewrite it. I hope you don't mind.
A Hollywood stuntwoman returns home but, instead of the envisioned rest, she lands a job developing a life-changing leg brace and falls for its nerdy-but-hot inventor. However, a lucrative deal with Hollywood beckons, threatening to upend her blossoming romance.
Possibly total crap, but it was fun trying to rewrite it. I hope you don't mind.
I don’t mind at all. That’s why I posted it. That said—
Without knowing exactly how the stuntwoman and leg-brace aspect affect the story it sounds a lot like a typical Hallmark movie.
Person A is tired of their current situation in location A.
Person A goes to location B where they meet person B.
Person A falls for person B but must choose between life in location B with person B or back to their previous life in location A but with more money.
Insert dramatic misunderstanding near the midpoint for good measure.
Tell me why being a stuntwoman adds a new dimension to the Hallmark formula.
Or tell me how the leg-brace change things.
There has to be more of a conflict between the choice of love or money. They always choose love in the movies. So Instead of a "lucrative offer", it needs to be the opportunity to fulfill her dream. Something she's wanted her whole life, or something she's been working toward for a long time.
Burnt out from the bumps and bruises of the business, a seasoned stuntwoman finds refuge in her hometown, but gets more than she expected when she falls for the inventor of a life-changing leg brace she's all too familiar with. But when Hollywood comes calling to have her run her own agency, she must choose between her new love or the dream she's worked for her whole life.
It starts with "burn out" which a lot of people are suffering from right now and a lot of people can relate to. It shows a strong woman who has a the opportunity to reap the rewards of years of hard work in an industry dominated by men. It makes me want to see her win on both fronts and I'd like to know how she pulls it off.
Damn... now I want to read this script. Get writing!
Without knowing exactly how the stuntwoman and leg-brace aspect affect the story it sounds a lot like a typical Hallmark movie.
Person A is tired of their current situation in location A.
Person A goes to location B where they meet person B.
Person A falls for person B but must choose between life in location B with person B or back to their previous life in location A but with more money.
Insert dramatic misunderstanding near the midpoint for good measure.
Tell me why being a stuntwoman adds a new dimension to the Hallmark formula.
Or tell me how the leg-brace change things.
There has to be more of a conflict between the choice of love or money. They always choose love in the movies. So Instead of a "lucrative offer", it needs to be the opportunity to fulfill her dream. Something she's wanted her whole life, or something she's been working toward for a long time.
I hope this helps.
-Jordan
You raise valid points.
Your person A, location B take is exactly what I’m aiming for.
Being a stunt woman is not a trope for these types of films (yes, it certainly is aimed at Hallmark. That’s been my thing the last few years). A stunt woman is definitely not the career choice you’ll find in your MC in Hallmark films. I actually mentioned it to a producer and he perked right up when he heard it.
The offer she receives is for a stunt coordinator position so definitely the logline should have reflected that she’s being lured back for a different, but similar, reasons. And of course more money.
Burnt out from the bumps and bruises of the business, a seasoned stuntwoman finds refuge in her hometown, but gets more than she expected when she falls for the inventor of a life-changing leg brace she's all too familiar with. But when Hollywood comes calling to have her run her own agency, she must choose between her new love or the dream she's worked for her whole life.
It starts with "burn out" which a lot of people are suffering from right now and a lot of people can relate to. It shows a strong woman who has a the opportunity to reap the rewards of years of hard work in an industry dominated by men. It makes me want to see her win on both fronts and I'd like to know how she pulls it off.
Damn... now I want to read this script. Get writing!
-Jordan
I like your take on the logline. In further tinkering I’ll be sure to add a few of your suggestions!