Write your story and then take away all the blood and gore.  If you don't have a recognizable story after this, you never did.


Phil

hmm. i like that idea. i will most certainly do that once i am all done. thank you

Here is what is going down.

I am not releasing any more parts. Only the rough draft of the whole script. Which will be done in a month or two. I have 65 pages written with many added/changed scenes. I cut back on some of the blood and gore and put more scares and more suspense in it. I fixed all the scenes that are telling you things. Instead i showed them. I took out all of the cheesy things and lines. I am going to fix all the dialouge soon and much more. I am extending the scene when Allison first enters the town. So this version will be MUCH MUCH better then what you have already read.

The reason i am doing this is so you have new things to read. If i put part 5 out i believe no one would want to read the final script. Yes there are over 40 new pages and what not. Including a sub plot which is added. So you will be reading the rough draft in about 2 months and i hope you enjoy it.

Andrew

Anyone else gonna read this?

Andrew, I read it. I think I'm going to go back and read all of them together.
This episode was scary. The bang, your dead, and the torture part, really freaky.
I think I know what you are doing here., but I can't figure out if Alison is only half dead or if she is dead yet.
Doggleby brought up some issues that make sense.
Tell me if I'm right or not okay? Is Alison doomed to live out eternity in this town when she dies? Is it Hell? Why would it be so?
Maybe you should go back to the beginning and show us what she did there to make this thing happen.
Your scenes are really creepy, I really enjoy them, but remember: beginning, middle, end. I'll be looking forward to reading the whole script.
Cindy
 

You just proved i am doing all of this right. The twist's that u mentioned are NOT used. My twist is totally different. And in case you didn't know. My next release will be the full version rough draft so i advise you not to read the episodes now and just wait for the full rough draft in a month or two. Added scenes, extended scenes, less cheesy things and everything will be different in this.

Thanks for giving me your opinion and i apprichiate it

I am submitting the rough draft today. There are no extended scenes so it is about 60 pages. I added some stuff here and there and edited some stuff. The full version should be released in a month or two.

This also includes the twist ending. The one you will be reading is the one i am using. But in the final version this ending will be extended.

I'll wait to read it then.
Cindy

UPDATE

The 80 page rough draft was just submitted. I have two endings for this and the one i submitted is the one i like the most. After everyone has read and found out the ending i will post the other ending and you guys can choose which one you like more.

THINGS THAT ARE/WILL BE ADDED:

Two different endings
Extended scene in the hallway of Ambience
Extended talk scene with Allison and Chris
Extended scene with Mark and Allison in restaurant
Extened scene with Allison and Kelly
NEW interrogation room interviews in beginning and end
Extened School scenes.
NEW elevator scene in Ambience Museum
Extended beginning rescue scene in street
MANY extended scenes with Allison and Chris


THINGS TAKEN OUT:
Blood in foggy trail
Blood all over trees and ground
The second 'scare' scene with george (the boy)
Some more blood here and there that is not important


Discussion moved to New Thread

-Don