Thanks for the read Blakkwolfe.

I definitely understand that it can be hard to sympathize with a character like Franco, but given the company he keeps he wins the battle of "the lesser of two evils".

In terms of character, I tried to have a lot of different, yet similar personalities woven together, and I did end pretty pleased in that regard.

Hot sauce in the fridge?  Never really thought about it, but I guess it doesn't have to be.

If I were to extend one of my short scripts into a feature, this would definitely be at the top of the list for easiest to do since the story could really continue to unfold.  Olus, the fact that it's 33 pages helps a lot as well.  Maybe some day, as it's definitely on my list.

Thanks again.

Hi Shelton, really liked this script. Will definately read more of your scripts.
Dialogue was absolutely spot on.

Hey Shelton,

Read this one, since it popped up on the "recommended" thread that's been getting press recently.

Have to say, one of the more enjoyable shorts I've read recently.   Story was just the right length, very solid writing.  I *could* argue that everyone in it was a scumbag, and I really didn't care what happened to the characters.  But...actually...that wasn't a negative in this case.  I was interested in how it turned out, and that was enough.

Also resulted in my putting "Scarface" into my film queue.  So thanks for the reference!

Thanks for the read, wonka.  This one takes me into the wayback machine a little bit since it was one of the first shorts I wrote.  I actually worked backwards, writing some features before I got into short form.  I can tell I uploaded at least a revised version of this since it's in pdf.

Anyway, I always enjoyed this script, but felt it was a little too long to be produced.  Fortunately, the two guys who are producing my Jack Amsterdam script thought otherwise, and since they were looking for something to co-direct and act in, they went with it.  I believe it was in a festival out your way a couple years back.

As far as the characters, I agree.  I don't think there's anyone here that you can really, truly get behind, but I kind of did that on purpose.  It never made sense to me to try and squeeze in a "good guy" given the setting.  I think Franco's redeeming qualities are about as far as it could go in that regard.

Scarface is enjoyable, but it really doesn't hold up over time.

Thanks again.

Hey Mike,

Janet popped this one on the portal, thought I'd take a look.
Congrats on getting this produced!

Most of your dialog sound authentic, if a bit overlong.
I agree with your assessment that this runs long.
It was hard for me to get invested in your story.
I don't mind disreputable characters, so long as they're intriguing.
And whatever decent cred you built with Franco, went out the door with Lucius.
I tuned out when your protag sets up an innocent man to take the fall for him.
Franco is the worst hypocrite in the room at that point, hands down.

I think with a dialog trim and ditching Lucius, this story could perk up.

Thanks for sharing. Keep writing and rewriting.

Regards,
E.D.