Quoted from tonkatough Your last few scripts you have been playing around with harded boiled Noir, but I feel it is when you write about human suffering and domestic misery is when you are at your peek performance.

I'm English mate, that's what we do best haha.

I'm leaving the Noir for now. Was just something I fancied having a go at, but I think drama is probably where I'm most confortable.

Hi Ste,


I really really liked this one. A really intriguing, emotional story extremely well told.

You got a lot done in so few pages, and to be honest, I don't think it needs anything more adding to it- it's pretty much a perfect little short. I can see why it placed so highly in the competition.

I like your work, and will check out some more soon.

Craig

Thanks Craig, pleased you enjoyed it. This was supposed to be getting made but it fell down in post-production. In the process of re-shooting but I'm not holding my breath.

Take it easy.

Ste

Hi Ste,

Just read this one and thought it was really good.  Very bitter-sweet.  Not much to add here, just wanted to let you know I enjoyed it.

Thanks,
Craig

Hey Ste.

It's been awhile since I've read something of yours.  This story was very well written technically.  The story itself, however, I think is missing something and it needs fleshed out a lot more for us to really care about any of the characters.  It just seemed like you stuffed the story into six pages and didn't want to work on it anymore.  But, now, that I've read others' comments, I saw that this was for one of the moviepoet competitions, so you did have to stuff it all into six pages.  So, for having to cram it into six pages, you did very good.

At first, I thought the idea of the story sounded really good (which it is) and I thought it was really original.  But then I thought about it more and more and realized that it was the exact idea from 'The Cell', with Jay-Lo, Vince Vaughn and Vincent D'onofrio.  It that movie, Jennifer Lopez (the only good movie she's ever been in as far as I'm concerned) plays a psychologist who uses the same exact method as in your story (wires and all) to communicate with her comatose patients.  The patient even got to choose the most comfortable location of their choice, as in your story.  I don't know if you meant this to be like a prequel to 'The Cell' or anything, but it just had way too many similarities for me.

But, as I said, the writing and technical format aspects were spot on, so you definately did a good job on that.  I got to go check out SWAT now.  :-)

- Mark

Thanks for the read, Mark.

Yeah I agree with you about this needing to be fleshed out. I've tried a few times to extend this and have even started a treatment for a feature based on the characters and the premise of this but it's never really took off the way I wanted it to.

It's been a while since I've seen 'The Cell' so my memory is a little wobbly about what goes on. It does seem quite similar though. I'm not sure if it's so much of a problem though that the device is the same as in another movie. How many time machine movies have we had, for instance? This is more about the relationship between the main characters than the science-fiction aspect.

Thanks again for taking a look.

Ste

Hey Steven,

I think I've read it before, maybe on MP, but never left a message.

It was pretty well done. And unusual mix of sci-fi and romance. But it works.
So I don't think I have anything to suggest.

Good work.


Herman

Thanks Herman, pleased you enjoyed it.

Ste