Hey Cindy!

Well done...another South African production - love the accents.   It came out fairly well, could be tightened a bit but it was amusing.   I enjoyed watching it.

Cindy,

Big time congrats on the production.
I hadn't read the script before so all of this was new to me.
It's refreshing to see a bubbly comedy short, so few around!
I was thrown by the opening, thought Jayne was going to be the lead.
I'm glad Tina came along when she did, she has a flair for comedy.
The film really came to life with her on the screen.
I only wish we had the first two minutes back to spend with her.
Cute and energetic, Jim and Tina make a nice couple. Congrats!

Regards,
E.D.

Cindy,

I enjoyed this.  I remembered a bit of the script from reading it during the OWC, but that was long enough ago to see it in a fresh state of mind.  Congrats on getting it filmed.  It was a good job all around.

Hello Cindy,

Big Congrats! This was adorable! And congratulations to the actors and all others involved!!!

I'm going to go back to what I'd said-- what feels like ages ago:

Quoting myself:

I think that you might instead begin with Tina, receiving the call from her mother and going berserk over the fact that she's coming over. This would create a sense of urgency and really keep us on the edge of our seats with regard to Tina's little adventure.

Sandra El.

The package arriving to "The Boss Man" still had me in the dark as the audience.

I still think that if you were to begin with Tina receiving a call from an annoying mother-in-law and do it in Intercut, you'd amp up the tension.

Then, the series of "minor incidents" really do become major as she tries to sort things out.

I think we've all had those kinds of days where every little thing becomes like a massive obstacle and I think that if this can be drawn out, it will raise this to an even higher level and it's already really great!!!

This is such a fun piece. I'm so happy to watch and comment here. Really wonderful, Cindy!!!

Sandra

Thanks everyone for watching it. Glad you got a little laugh from it or it lightened your day. I am working on a rewrite for this. I am going to make it into a feature, and I will start it with Tina at home, making breakfast when she gets the call from her mother. It will be a peek into her world over the course of a few days, until her mother arrives.

The OWC here have really been what has gotten me noticed as a writer. It is those scripts of mine that producers have asked to film.

So, thank you to Don and Phil for the OWC.  

Cindy

Cindy,

LOVED IT, LOVED IT, LOVED IT...

Great job!

Shawn.....><

Quoted from CindyLKeller The OWC here have really been what has gotten me noticed as a writer. It is those scripts of mine that producers have asked to film. So, thank you to Don and Phil for the OWC.   Cindy

I second the emotion. I'm still working on a short that began as a lilly OWC and it's been through several transitions. Maybe I'll never be finished it. I don't know. But to think it began its life as a mad dash to the finish line in a week's time is quite amazing really.

The OWCs are excellent because they force you to work on a deadline. They challenge you to write within parameters. I think they're good for all writers-- both the green ones and the veterans alike. There's a reason why I think they might be good for veterans: Because I think that when you're already solid, you can fall into ruts. You can begin thinking "by habit". Which is great because that means you're just that bloody skilled. But then, an OWC can come along and give you the opportunity to challenge yourself yet again. Maybe you put new handicaps into the equation. Who knows.

So yes. OWC = Positive Challenge. And...

I always liked the stress on the fact that it's a "challenge" as opposed to a "contest".

The fact is: Whoever participates in an OWC is a winner.

Sandra