RV

The writing was smooth and fluid, very nice to read but you hit me with one of the most abrupt endings ever. Mainly since its states (3 pages) on the script's thread…cue obligatory scrolling-down-in-vain reaction.

There’s a pertinent message here without it being rammed down your throat but I think it’s too vague and well, too general. There’s not much weight behind it, a moment of mutual understanding between two nationalities separated by the decisions and hang ups of suited men in government buildings. It sweet and life affirming in its own way but we've seen this before, many times but in greater detail and depth.

A noble attempt with (the making of) a good character plus an intriguing premise but I feel its too short, fleeting & surface scratching to pack the necessary punch this kind of subject demands, you know.

The resultant feeling from my end was firstly "What?!" (followed by the short whir of the mouse's scroll wheel) Then "oh (shrug)...Meh."

Col.

I was gonna let slip down the portal like some do in the vain home somebody will bump it up again, however, not my style.

Love you H, you tell me what I need to know. Naturally, I don't agree with all you say, I wrote it, but as per, you make good points.

It is too short. Which means you want more. So, I'd conclude I'm doing something right.

Wasn't my decision to say 3 pages. I'd say 1.5.

But then again, I ain't in charge. Me missus is. So she thinks.

Er, sorry. Just got horny. Well, we all do.

Right, thanks fella. Your words are always welcome in my world. Owe you, but shure, always have.

Keep up the good work CK. Do it well.

R ox

Well, to be really pedantic about things I'd gauge it at 1.25 pages.

And yes, you were on the cusp of something interesting before my aforementioned, futile, excursion of rabid scrolling took over.

To paraphrase your good self:

Love and poo biccies.

Col.

You make me laugh, Col.

Feckin' smartarse. I was beginning to think I was the only one. Goes to show: you never know.

So be it. Etc. Soon, fella.

I'm soundchecked and the support are shite. Should be a good gig. Here's hoping. Later.

R ox

rendevous,

What can I say other than it was a good read that makes you stop and think?

Nice job,

Cindy

Gig's over. Six people. And a man with a dog. The headliners suck so I came home. Ah well, rural Ireland in the middle of the week in a recession. I guess I'll still be pen pushing or typing mad stories till I die.

And yet I continue. Sometimes I wonder why I still bother performing. Then some kind soul points out the reason: Cos you love it, rendy.

And I think Yeah. I do. Being solo means you don't have to rely on a genius but shy guitarist, an incompetent drummer who thinks he's in Terrorvision and a frankly alcoholic bass player who falls over regularly. So much for the headline act. I know I'm missing nothing. But I rocked.

Er, oh shite. Wrong board. Please get a mod to copy and paste this on Sad Rockers Inc.

Whaddya mean, they're busy? You think I'm not? Frankly typical. Ahum.

Cindy, or CLK (almost looks like silk to my eye), hang on, I think I'm flirting again. So I shall stop. Of course, I could have deleted, but I've gotta learn that Radiohead song for tomorrow. It's a beggar to sing.

Oh yeah, I'm burbling. Back to The Point. Not the o2. Local humour again.

Thank you. You coulda said about my inner beauty shining out and I'm the new George Orwell. But honestly, I'm not, so I don't blame you.

As I've said to a few, I need the praise sometimes. Keeps me going. Now, I also have to learn a new U2 song. I hate The Edge. The talented multimillionaire genius of a guitarist across six frets with one hand type fella. How does it goes? Ah...

Thanks Cinders. Keep doin' what you like. I do.

Laters.

R xo

Ren,

What to say about this one...?

It's well written, but I'd expect nothing less.

I got what you were going for, I know how much you hate racism. Did it carry a punch? Was there enough irony to really make a statement? Was the fact that it was deliberately understated, enough?

Sorry Ren. Your better than this.

Maybe M3,

However, I've got me fingers in pies, and deals in the offing.

So far, a lot of talk, and a lot of promises. Nothing solid. Yet.

However, I did get advised about sticking stuff online for free, for all to see.

But, without SS I would be even more of a nobody than I already am.

I try and contribute, maybe only a little compared to before.

You get the idea. thought you might. I value opinions here, the vast majority. Here I have met some of the most honest and wisest people. And that is a fact I shall not forget.

Until tomorrow. You kids play nice now.

P&L

R xo

I enjoyed this script though, to be honest, I had to read it twice to understand it.  It was too short to really develop characterization.  Pacing was there; that's good.

SPOILERS

I'm not sure why, but I like the fact that the explosion wasn't right in the front of us/Hugh. It added to the realism of the piece.


Phil

DB,

I think it's good you read it twice. I kinda like that idea. Indeed it was too short for character development. Hence TII.

Pacing is nearly as important as dialogue. Oops, maybe the other way round.

Glad you thought it added to the realism.

Watched Children Of Men the other night. I was gonna do a similar scene to the one in the cafe near the start. Then thought, Nah. Do something else. So I did.

I'll find your OWC script soon to return. Thanks.

R xo

A couple people have had to read this twice to figure it out. I myself am part of this group.

In any case, I thought it was well done and I related to it, after so many people asking me about the terrorist alert here in Paris. The day's business as usual as far as I'm concerned. Hugh seems to feel the same.

A short review for a short script.

Quoted from James McClung A couple people have had to read this twice to figure it out. I myself am part of this group. In any case, I thought it was well done and I related to it, after so many people asking me about the terrorist alert here in Paris. The day's business as usual as far as I'm concerned. Hugh seems to feel the same. A short review for a short script.

I wonder if reading it twice is good, or bad. Obviously I'll go for the former.

Thank you. It was a response to the news the authorities in England and Europe decided to tell their people their was a high probability of a terrorist attack soon. Nice. Maybe the secret services should deal with it. What the fuck we supposed to do? They do like to remind us They are out there.

And that soon after the inquiry and anniversary of the July London bombings. Extra nice.

Being Irish and growing up in England during the seventies and eighties gave me an uncomfortable experience of bombings and their aftermath. Not fucking nice at all.

"No Blacks, No Dogs, No Irish, No Gypsies."

We'd go in and have a pint. As we were leaving we'd tell them "You're a bunch of fucking arseholes. I have an Irish Black Dog who sells trinkets. He just cursed you. Fuckers"

I'm fucking sick of it. And sick of the bull that goes with it. Peace and love, kids. They should sort it out. If they can't, what exactly is their point?

Hugh knows the score. As do you. Don't believe the hype. You've more chance of winning the lottery than getting hurt in a terrorist attack. I also heard you're more likely to get hit by a meteorite. Pick it up and sell it. Better than the lottery.

You kids be happy. Don't buy The Fear.

R xo

p.s. Fine surname, sir.

R

If I'm going to read two of these scripts, I might as well read the first one right?

Well, not sure what to make of it.  So far, this script is not for me.

I can't see a story in this script.  I'll have to read the second one, maybe I'll find it in that one.

JT

JR,

You're in London and you can't see the story? Okay, I want you to imagine you are an Asian lad with a bag on the tube. Being Irish and of a certain age I empathise with the bull they have to put up with.

The script was a reaction to more warnings about possible terrorism.

For each their own. A lot of people disagree.

R x