Congrats!

Thanks Pia - look forward to seeing it whichever way round!

Quoted from Grandma Bear As far as the language goes, I don't know, but I'm going to assume English. My other scripts from that area have been shot in English, spoken with some heavy accents by the actors.   The woman making this has a flawless written English, so that's what I'm thinking it will be.

OMG, a script of mine ("Love can wait") was just filmed in Istanbul by a Turkish-Australian director and, while optimistic about the result (he's an experienced professional), I'm quite concerned about the accents of the actors. Actually, I had told him that Turkish might have been a better option, but he insisted on English.

Anyway, congratulations! Your script can definitely make a good film.

Manolis

Wow! Yeah, I had one script made in Romania once. It looked really really good. Very slick and all the actors were attractive and everything. They were even ballsy enough to do the nudity and sex scenes. I was so excited to see the stills. Then I saw the film and everything was perfect until they started talking. Wow! IT WAS TERRIBLE! Ruined the whole thing. Amazingly enough, the director gave me all the media and said I could play around with it and edit my own version if I wanted to. So, in the end, I was very impressed with these guys.  

Quoted from Grandma Bear Wow! Yeah, I had one script made in Romania once. It looked really really good. Very slick and all the actors were attractive and everything. They were even ballsy enough to do the nudity and sex scenes. I was so excited to see the stills. Then I saw the film and everything was perfect until they started talking. Wow! IT WAS TERRIBLE! Ruined the whole thing. Amazingly enough, the director gave me all the media and said I could play around with it and edit my own version if I wanted to. So, in the end, I was very impressed with these guys.

So, is your own version of that film dubbed into English by native speakers?

The good thing about "Heart of Coal" is that all the dialogue is V.O. Even if the actress is Bulgarian, they can easily use another (English-speaking) actress to do the narration.

I never did anything with it. I know only the most basics when it comes to editing and back then, I knew absolutely nothing. I thought it was very nice of them to do that though.  

Good work.

I liked this one a lot because of the voice overs which match the work well.  The action seems a bit cliche for a woman of her intellect and appetites, but that's me.  The serial killer doesn't seem to add much.  PErhaps I'm missing too much.  Interesting character although I would expect her to go beyond sex and start her killing ways again.

best

Richard

Thanks for the read Richard!  

I'm glad you enjoyed the V.O. I wrote that first and added the visuals after that. This was a spur of the moment script and a first draft. Something I wrote in between features. I honestly didn't think anyone would pick it up, but then again, I never thought anyone would make my mime and puppet script either. You just never know, I guess.

Thanks again!  

Hey Pia,

First off, fantastic, eerie story.  I'd say more on it, but you've got a lot of helpful feedback and anything I have to say has been said already.

I enjoyed the narrative direction and thought the VO worked perfectly for what you were attempting.  

The sequences in the action blocks flowed nicely, and I did catch-on quickly, especially when Lianne came in.  Lianne is Dr. Berg, right?  I kinda got the feeling that Lianne and Dr. Berg were one due to the script flowing the way it did, I might be wrong, but the action taking place is comprised entirely of flashback scenes (in regards to Lianne), right?

The words at the end "neither does a nine year old girl" somewhat gave me the assumption that Dr. Lianne Berg was the young girl we saw evolve throughout the script.

Like I said though, I could be wrong and Lianne could be someone else, but I think them being the same person would really work if that's not the case.

All in all, the script is exceptionally thought-provoking and provides a fresh narrative ripe with eerie direction and a complex protagonist/antagonist lead.

Nice.

Pia!!! This is super cool! I can't wait to see it!

Quoted from Grandma Bear Just wanted to thank everyone who read and commented on this one. Great suggestions for improvement and a better title. I fully intended to do a rewrite once this crazy year is over. It looks like I won't be doing that now though. This one has been picked up by a director in Bulgaria. This is the fourth (I think) script of mine that's found interest by people in Eastern Europe. I guess those people like my darker fare!   Big thanks to Janet for putting this one up on the STS site!

Congratulations on all your success, it is deservedly so.

Hi Pia

First off loved this short! Good job in writing a story that should look great on film. IMO you know your craft. Keep it up.

HH

Thanks for reading guys!

Lee, Lianne is indeed the young Doc. She is a psychopath. She killed her mother. She has not killed anyone since her mother. The world is full of psychopaths however. They are everywhere. A very small percentage of them actually become killers, but Lianne is one of them.

Now for some more positive thoughts. I talked to the lead for Scarred today. Scarred was my version of the 1+6WC thriller.  I'm stoked. Cheers!!!!