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Forsaken (currently 1186 views) |
Don |
Posted: January 19th, 2020, 7:09pm |
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AdministratorAdministrator ![](/uploads/donss2_1228.jpg) So, what are you writing?
LocationVirginia Posts16445 Posts Per Day 1.92 |
Forsaken by AJ Lovell - Short, Drama - A young mans heart is breaking after his girlfriend leaves him, his Father hatches a plan to help. 5 pages contest: Winner of the SWN short script award 2020 - pdf format
Writer interested in feedback on this work |
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Revision History (1 edits) |
Don - February 4th, 2020, 2:29pm | revised draft | | |
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JohnMcCarthy |
Posted: January 31st, 2020, 5:40pm |
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LocationMadison, WI Posts36 Posts Per Day 0.02 |
This is a very sweet (if sad) story. Very nicely told. If there were any formatting or spelling issues I missed them. Well done! |
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AndyJ |
Posted: February 1st, 2020, 8:20am |
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Posts120 Posts Per Day 0.07 |
This is a very sweet (if sad) story. Very nicely told. If there were any formatting or spelling issues I missed them. Well done! |
Thanks for the read and the compliment. I have changed the names and waiting to upload the new version. I just felt the names are too similar. |
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Yuvraj |
Posted: March 14th, 2020, 12:24pm |
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Been Around ![](/uploads/20210707_102530_3308.png)
LocationWhy you wanna know? Posts812 Posts Per Day 0.49 |
Hello AJ,
Gave this one a read.
There are some punctuations missing. Some grammatical errors too.
A bit confused at the ending though. I hope you will care to explain that to me. I'll wait.
Peace. |
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AndyJ |
Posted: March 14th, 2020, 5:47pm |
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Posts120 Posts Per Day 0.07 |
Hello AJ,
Gave this one a read.
There are some punctuations missing. Some grammatical errors too.
A bit confused at the ending though. I hope you will care to explain that to me. I'll wait.
Peace. |
What confused you? |
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Yuvraj |
Posted: March 15th, 2020, 2:22am |
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Been Around ![](/uploads/20210707_102530_3308.png)
LocationWhy you wanna know? Posts812 Posts Per Day 0.49 |
The last two scenes. What to figure out about LOUISE been in her bed and BRAD suddenly feeling better about his break up? |
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AndyJ |
Posted: March 15th, 2020, 8:55am |
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Posts120 Posts Per Day 0.07 |
The last two scenes.
What to figure out about LOUISE been in her bed and BRAD suddenly feeling better about his break up?
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I'm actually not even going to bother, I'll give you a clue though... no one broke up |
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AndyJ |
Posted: December 18th, 2023, 12:34pm |
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We're back we're bad, you're black I'm mad,
It's been a while since I've been here. This script is going to be produced soon, casting call has gone out so hopefully in the new year. |
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LC |
Posted: December 18th, 2023, 10:12pm |
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LocationThe Great Southern Land Posts7700 Posts Per Day 1.33 |
AJ,
Very sad, and thought provoking. I thought this was a typical breakup scenario at first, so you got me there.
BRAD (CONT'D) So you.... Maybe this should be an open-ended question mark. So you...? Meant to echo the opening 'Do you want to...?', I assume.
Should be 'lying on her bed', not laying. It reads well. I have to wonder though if it would be entirely satisfying on screen without more backstory. I felt like more story was needed.
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AndyJ |
Posted: December 19th, 2023, 8:10am |
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Thanks for reading and the feedback |
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AndyJ |
Posted: December 19th, 2023, 8:40am |
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I forgot to mention that this script was picked up from here, as was another of mine that was produced a couple of years ago. I would say, get your scripts up on here... you never know |
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Don |
Posted: December 19th, 2023, 12:06pm |
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AdministratorAdministrator ![](/uploads/donss2_1228.jpg) So, what are you writing?
LocationVirginia Posts16445 Posts Per Day 1.92 |
I forgot to mention that this script was picked up from here, as was another of mine that was produced a couple of years ago. I would say, get your scripts up on here... you never know |
Do I need to remove the script? And, glad the site is of use to you. - Don |
| Visit SimplyScripts.com for what is new on the site.
------------- You will miss 100% of the shots you don't take. - Wayne Gretzky
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AndyJ |
Posted: December 19th, 2023, 4:29pm |
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Yeah this site has worked out for me and hopefully it'll gives others hope that their scripts could get picked up on here.
No I'm happy to leave it up, I've not given it as exclusive
Thanks Don |
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Revision History (1 edits) |
AndyJ - December 20th, 2023, 7:30am | | |
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LC |
Posted: December 19th, 2023, 5:54pm |
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LocationThe Great Southern Land Posts7700 Posts Per Day 1.33 |
Normally when you give an exclusive you take it down, at least for the Option period and especially if sold.
Do you mean exclusive or non exclusive? |
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AndyJ |
Posted: January 1st, 2024, 12:08pm |
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Posts120 Posts Per Day 0.07 |
Normally when you give an exclusive you take it down, at least for the Option period and especially if sold.
Do you mean exclusive or non exclusive? |
No I'm happy to leave it up, I've not given it as exclusive
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I said NOT exclusive |
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