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Link: Hi. I am new to this. This is intended to be a 30 minute British comedy. First 10 pages here. Any help on the layout would be very helpful [url] http://desmond-otoole.co.uk/Rosie_and_Lucy.pdf [/url]
All due respect Desmond, but I know I read this script before and gave specific feedback, particularly regarding format, (which you've conceded you needed help with) and it doesn't appear that you applied the fixes.
I know this has been read before but I have corrected the slug lines as per your instructions. There is a blank line underneath. I can't see anything wrong with it, otherwise I would have corrected it. In converting it to PDF it seems there are charecters name on the last line of some pages. If you can shed any light on this please tell me.
No offence, Desmond but the formatting is still incorrect, your margins are way too wide for dialogue for one thng. What software are you using?
Another example: The plural of Donnelly /is not Donnellies.
EXT. OUTSIDE ON THE STREET – MORNING
EXT. already tells us we're outside. Dialogue should not flip over to the next page the way you have it with no character CONT'D.
(she walks out of the bedroom slamming the door and footsteps running down stairs) This is not the correct usage of a wrylie/parenthetical. That should be a description line.
You can't write a scene heading at the bottom of a page and then commence the description on the next.
Industry Standard Formatting. I get the feeling I posted links on this for you last time.
I'm sorry but these are not the only corrections that need to be made.
"your margins are way too wide for dialogue for one thing." I have no idea on margins. I have copied the margins from BBC script library. Are their any laid down margins. The side margins? There must be official values.
Top margin 24mm. Left margin 1 ˝ inches 38mm, 1 inch right 24.5mm. No mention of Dialogue or inline () directions.
You're on SS asking for critique and advice and also stated the BBC rejected your script based on The script I asked them to look at was full of presentation floors. - that'd be flaws, btw.
Dialogue length: Soft return to a new margin of 2.5 inches. This is the dialogue, the section where the character’s words are written. It is always left justified at 2.5 inches, and shouldn’t go longer than 3 inches. It looks centered on the page...
I pointed out errors. Of course it's your prerogative to ignore them, or maybe, just maybe, compare the look of your dialogue length to Industry Standard. Maybe even put your ruler away and download some (free) screenwriting software - great idea if you ask me.
Here's a link to a script by our very own Dave Lambertson (a twice/three times? Page Nominated Finalist, no less) - does your dialogue length look like his? Rhetorical question.
There's little point manually trying to meet margin requirements, cont./header-footers requirements, unless you're writing your script into a pure word processor.
There's free software for writing screenplays that do that structural stuff (margins etc) for you.
I use Writerduet. It's free.
After you've accessed the software, you can focus on the more ethereal aspects of screenwriting, like character, tone, literacy etc.
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