SimplyScripts Discussion Board
Blog Home - Produced Movie Script Library - TV Scripts - Unproduced Scripts - Contact - Site Map
ScriptSearch
Welcome, Guest.
It is April 24th, 2019, 6:00pm
Please login or register.
Was PortalRecent PostsHome Help Calendar Search Register Login
If you wish to join this discussion board, please send me a message. Please do read the guidelines that govern behavior on the discussion board. It will make for a much more pleasant experience for everyone. A word about SimplyScripts and Censorship


Scripts Studios are posting for award consideration
The scripts of the April/May OWC have been posted


The Beginners Guide to the SimplyScripts Discussion Board (WIP)

Short Script of the Day | Featured Script of the Month | Featured Short Scripts Available for Production | Submit Your Script

How do I get my film's link and banner here?
All screenplays on the simplyscripts.com and simplyscripts.net domain are copyrighted to their respective authors. All rights reserved. This screenplaymay not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.
Forum Login
Username: Create a new Account
Password:     Forgot Password

SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    One Week Challenge    January 2019 -††One Week Challenge  ›  Colored Skulls - OWC
Users Browsing Forum
No Members and 1 Guests

 Pages: « 1, 2 : All
Recommend Print
  Author    Colored Skulls - OWC  (currently 377 views)
hawkeye
Posted: February 9th, 2019, 9:33am Report to Moderator
Regular



Location
Texas
Posts
680
Posts Per Day
0.29
So my first draft in this challenge was also 12 pages and I found two pages to cut.  After reading this, thereís a lot of dialogue that could have been cut as well to get it under the limit.  Thereís way too much talky and not enough showy going on here.

Itís really not a romance and barely a comedy. So beyond the page limit thing, you arenít necessarily meeting the parameters. But best of luck going forward.

Gary


My web site and scripts can be found here:

Gary's web site
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 15 - 23
khamanna
Posted: February 12th, 2019, 1:13am Report to Moderator
Old Timer



Posts
3058
Posts Per Day
0.87
So, this a script.

And here's my review for it:

I didn't have a big dinner today, instead went for a desert. And a had a large coffee with it. I'm thinking that maybe I need to cut on that coffee after all. It makes my heart pound.

Also, that stitching class I'm taking is a pain. I'm so sorry I didn't drop it. We have to stitch half of a dress. It's not even a whole dress, it's a half of it. But what's done is done and I'll have to stick with it. Can't wait to move forward to other classes, like learning photoshop and autocad. I'll do much better at those.

I hope I helped some. Good luck to you with it. and good job on entering.
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 16 - 23
CameronD
Posted: February 12th, 2019, 10:07am Report to Moderator
Regular



Posts
608
Posts Per Day
0.31
Oh no, A disclaimer at the beginning its over the page limit, is mostly dialogue AND that Aaron Sorkin would approve? Boy, you really know how to get me hyped for a good entry! This an't Masterclass. This is the OWC.

I'll read until I have no interest to. Let's see how far I get.

Page 3.

This no more more or less dialogue than is to be expected. You telling me you couldn't cut 2 pages out this somewhere? Lots of little direction in the dialogue I didn't care for, not sure how this was romantic or a comedy. The writer can write but kinda a lazy effort.

Next.


http://www.TheFilmBox.org Movie reviews, news, and fun!
http://www.screenplaywritenow.com Write a screenplay. Write. Now.
http://www.SchismSEO.com Separate from your competition. Affordable SEO services
http://www.MyEasyGifter.com Because nobody likes receiving gift cards
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 17 - 23
Philostrate
Posted: February 13th, 2019, 5:33pm Report to Moderator
Been around a while



Posts
220
Posts Per Day
0.51

Quoted Text
NOTE: This is longer than 10 pages but the script is mostly dialogue so it
would be a 10 minutes or less short on screen. Aaron Sorkin would have
approved. Please consider it

12 pages? DQ'ed - sorry.

If I have time later, I'll come back and give it a read.

Good job on entering.


Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 18 - 23
Spqr
Posted: February 14th, 2019, 12:12pm Report to Moderator
Been around a while


Posts
135
Posts Per Day
0.04
I liked this big-time, but a lot of scripts could have benefitted from additional pages, so that has to be taken into consideration when scoring. But it's still one of the best scripts of the bunch.
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 19 - 23
Dreamscale
Posted: February 14th, 2019, 12:36pm Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


Yes, that is my real hair...

Location
Cave Creek, AZ
Posts
10637
Posts Per Day
2.56

Quoted from Spqr
I liked this big-time, but a lot of scripts could have benefitted from additional pages, so that has to be taken into consideration when scoring. But it's still one of the best scripts of the bunch.


It's 12 pages.  that's 2 over the limit.  IT's a DQ.  There should be no consideration for a score.

Am I missing something here?



To ski or not to ski...that's not even a question.
Logged
Private Message Reply: 20 - 23
Zack
Posted: February 14th, 2019, 12:47pm Report to Moderator
OWC Moderator


Don't get it right. Get it written.

Posts
2495
Posts Per Day
0.53
I'm with Jeff. Spqr, your post is sort of puzzling to me.

As for the script itself, I didn't make it far. Besides the off-putting and snarky "warning" on the title page, the very first action line is back to back sentences starting with "We". Big no-no.

Sorry, but I'm out.

Zack


Logged
Private Message Reply: 21 - 23
irish eyes
Posted: February 15th, 2019, 8:09am Report to Moderator
Old Timer


There`s too much blood in my alcohol

Location
Upstate New York
Posts
1676
Posts Per Day
0.51

Quoted from Dreamscale
It's 12 pages.  that's 2 over the limit.  IT's a DQ.  There should be no consideration for a score.

Am I missing something here?


Maybe it's his script  


Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 22 - 23
AnthonyCawood
Posted: February 15th, 2019, 7:48pm Report to Moderator
Old Timer



Location
UK
Posts
2821
Posts Per Day
1.42
12 pages...

Weirdly I'm watching Big Trouble in Little China as I read this...

5 pages in and not seeing any rom at all. Not by 8 either.

Sorry extra pages and not meeting genre requirement.

Pass


Anthony Cawood - Award winning screenwriter
Available Short screenplays - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/short-scripts
Available Feature screenplays - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/feature-film-scripts/
Screenwriting articles - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/articles
IMDB Link - http://www.imdb.com/name/nm6495672/?ref_=fn_al_nm_1
Logged Online
Site Private Message Reply: 23 - 23
 Pages: « 1, 2 : All
Recommend Print

Locked Board Board Index    January 2019 -††One Week Challenge  [ previous | next ] Switch to:
Was Portal Recent Posts Home Help Calendar Search Register Login

Forum Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post polls
You may not post attachments
HTML is on
Blah Code is on
Smilies are on


Powered by E-Blah Platinum 9.71B © 2001-2006