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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Short Scripts  ›  Ballad of John, the Red Currant and Mandy, ... Moderators: bert
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  Author    Ballad of John, the Red Currant and Mandy, ...  (currently 2345 views)
Don
Posted: July 9th, 2005, 7:21am Report to Moderator
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The Ballad of John, the Red Currant and Mandy, the Raspberry by Ilya Grigoriev - Short, Fairy Tale - The almost tragic, and almost epic love story of an unlikely twosome. The bonnies are called John and Mandy.   They're both garden fruits.  Oh, yeah, this is a fairy tale! - pdf, format


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Martin
Posted: July 21st, 2005, 5:39pm Report to Moderator
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Wow, I can't believe this hasn't been reviewed yet. I don't know what to say... I'm lost for words.

This reads like a dream; literally. I found myself racing to the end with a silly smile on my face the whole way through.

I could pick you up on a few things like describing the characters' emotions instead of showing us. I could, but I wont because I think removing these little asides would be to its detriment. There are also a lot of transitions in there but I didn't find them intrusive.

Overall, your formatting is excellent, making this a lightning quick read.

I feel like I can't praise this enough, I loved it. It was such a fun read, one of the most original shorts I've read on this site.

One thing i'd suggest: change your title. This is such a punchy script, it needs a punchier title. Think of something better, something short.

Great work

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bert
Posted: August 12th, 2005, 11:41am Report to Moderator
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I am afraid this one did not quite speak to me as much as it did the previous poster.  I mean, yeah, it's cute and all, with a twisted "Veggie Tales" kinda' thing going on.  But my biggest problem was:

(spoiler space)

Ilya, if you return to read these posts, I would recommend that you try to find some way to tell this epic love story that does not involve quite so much pooping and vomiting  

I'm afraid that is where you lost me on this one.


Hey, it's my tiny, little IMDb!
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vins841
Posted: September 15th, 2022, 4:53am Report to Moderator
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I would like to read this script for a possible production. Please send me a copy. Thank you.
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LC
Posted: September 15th, 2022, 6:16am Report to Moderator
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Vins841, this script was posted in 2005.
I'm not able to open it, is anyone else?

I might hazard a guess the author pulled the script. As is, he didn't even respond to the feedback all the way back then.



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LC  -  September 15th, 2022, 6:56am
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Don
Posted: September 15th, 2022, 5:07pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from vins841
I would like to read this script for a possible production. Please send me a copy. Thank you.


Just click the title of the script.  

It opens for me.

- Don


Visit SimplyScripts.com for what is new on the site.

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LC
Posted: September 15th, 2022, 6:11pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Don

Just click the title of the script.  
It opens for me.
- Don

I really need to trade in my Tablet for a new one.
... No contact details on the script though.


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AlsoBen
Posted: September 17th, 2022, 9:44pm Report to Moderator
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2005! That’s crazy! I was ten years old.

(Also - I’m pretty sure I submitted my first script under a different username to SS when I was 11, so about 2006. Crazy to think SS has been around so long).


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King_Horrible
Posted: February 18th, 2024, 11:56am Report to Moderator
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I had fun reading this
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