Requiem by Martin Lancaster (requiem) - Short, Drama - A mortician meets a ghost from his past, triggering memories of a tormented childhood.    -   Dogglebe One Week Screenwriting Exercise Submission - pdf, format

Thanks Don, that was quick!

Looking forward to some feedback on this. I'm off to read the others!

This one was done very differently. Everything seemed original to me and i think it was great. Everything was top notch, the story, characters, everything was. I enjoyed every single part of this short and this is one of my favorites. Great job.

Req:  This is the first time I can remember (in a long time, anyway) reaching the end of a story -- and having finished it -- felt that I needed to buzz through it once more.

I loved the tone.  It grabbed me right away.

Shit, man.  I might even like it better than mine...

Your writing style is very good, so I guess you already know that camera directions and transitions are frowned upon in spec scripts, and had your reasons to include them.

On to the story: It was very good. It was a fast read, and never saw the end coming. I really enjoyed reading this. Congratulations, and keep up the good work.

thanks a lot guys

Wow. This was good. Your voiceovers were minimal was well used. You held the one piece of information most desired till the end and didn't even say it! Amen, you showed it instead. You kept me wondering and it just seemed like an odyssey through this guy's head about his bully...the one behind it all.

Good job. Well done. Loved it.

Wow, this was a true chiller, sir.  It had a dark toned elegance that was written so beautifully and the ending really left a chill down my spine.  Like Bert, though, I had to quickly skim this over a second time to make sure I got everything, which eventually I did.

Overall, I wished this could have been a little longer but you developed an impressive story for its short length.  A solid piece of work!

Thanks fellas, glad you enjoyed it. This gives me a bit of confidence ahead of the real contest next week.

Hey Martin!

WOW! What a great script, I'm impressed. I really thought you did a fantastic job of describing the scenes, beautifully done. I loved the twist at the end, and picked up on it prior to the revelation, but it still was excellent. I loved the pace of this piece.

Like it's settings, it was chilling! A great use of pathetic fallacy, I believe.( I hope I used that in the right context). I also felt sorry for poor Harry, much like my little midget friend, he didn't deserve it! Very well written and I enjoyed the way you used voice over here. I particularly loved the Doctor's role in this, really was very intriguing!

Great stuff, hon!
Andy x

This is my fav. short so far...very well done.

I could actually picture this as a period piece - maybe the turn of the century. That would be great.

Well done!!!

Requiem,

Very good. This was a very moody and more darker "exercise" than the rest. It was really unpredictable...it went into a totally different direction than I thought it was. This was awesome and completely satisfying.

-ONEY

Thanks for reading this everyone. Your comments are greatly appreciated. If you liked this, my next script, 'Araucaria' will be up on the site shortly. It was written in a week for the nycmidnight contest. Genre: Suspense Subject: An Old Record. Hope you like it.

Howdy,

I like this a lot. It seemed darker than the other shorts, which is always a plus (for me anyway). The descriptions were great too. Good job.

-Zavier

This script was great. The formatting was ver good, the story and plot (for a short) was wwell maintained and the VO's wern't overused. But what is this twist everyone is talking about? I read the script, and i didn;tt get the twist at the end. I skmmed the script again-nothing. But anyway, good script, everytnig was good.