Well that was sick.

The script itself was well written but the story not for me.

I know 2 pages is hard but wasn't a twist after the first few lines... just sick torture porn to a child .

Hmmm...well written, meets the parameters, the twist was in the middle but, damn, that was too much for me to visualize. Definitely achieved what you were going for, I think. Good luck with it.

I was wondering if anyone would go in this direction with the criteria. It's a knife to the gut and then a twist of the blade.

I'm fine with the camera directions. They work. What might have really made my skin crawl is not show what comes next. A look away or a door closing so what is happening is unknown would be far more sinister. Still, kudos for burning your ticket to Heaven and diving head first into the dark side.

Umm. Yeah, wasn't feeling this one about potential sexual abuse of a minor.

Okay, that was f’n creepy.  Not one for pedophile sexual torture but I guess it was definitely different and not badly written at all. I think your twist comes a bit too early, but overall good job.

Quoted from ReneC Still, kudos for burning your ticket to Heaven and diving head first into the dark side.

Oh, man, that's golden! Good thing I wasn't drinking milk!

I like the idea but you didn't have to make it a child. I mean...this isn't going to appeal to many people...and if it does...yikes. Would still be dark and terrifying if it was say...a husband of one of his wife's friends. Someone other than a child.

Whew! Certainly packed a punch.

You painted the portrait of sexual deviant pederast psychopath very well.
Sadly in reality perps often join search parties. That's a great premise.

I was getting a distinct Silence of the Lambs, Jame Gumb vibe to Michael.

I think I'm in the camp of maybe implying content rather than the naked explicitness you depict, mainly because I'm not sure of the market for this as written.

I would have loved if the Boy (12 is too old to be calling him a little boy imho) got his own back somehow.
That's a twist I would have loved!

Oh, and nice pic, Gecko.

Damn, that was messed up. It's powerful up until a little bit after the twist and then I think maybe it overstays its welcome. My two cents... either end it pretty much right after the reveal or have it take a whole other unexpected direction at the very end.

Hm.  Not my speed, this one.  I am not sure who the audience would be.

The mechanics are fine, competently written, but no.  Nothing here for me to latch onto.

Think this may be a bit more palpable if the kid was older, even like 16 or 17, and it was briefly mentioned that this kid had done something terrible to warrant the torture, but maybe that’s the whole point… there is no reason, ‘cept the fact a psycho is kidnapping kids and pretending to be concerned by joining a local search party. Then he could lead them (party) astray by ensuring it goes off course somehow. Dark twist as to what’s transpiring, maybe a little telecast up front, but still an evil demented reveal. Best of luck.

Went all out on the title page.

The twist comes a little early, though you do a really good job of selling this guy as evil. One problem is that there's isn't much of a story here, the second is that I don't see any way a parent is going to let a child actor do this scene.

Nice(?!) job, writer.

I think the main issue here is that the twist is revealed early on, and so it leads to disappointment because there's an expectation for a last minute twist, which never comes.

It's a tight little short, but the subject means it's difficult to film. In my opinion, you'd be better off making what's happening in the basement implied rather than explicit.

And I think there needs to be something of comeuppance for Michael; whether that be someone behind him ready to take him out (bit obvious), or something that communicates he is not holding the power he thinks he is, would add another dimension.

Not just any old widow’s peak then…

The basic premise could work and might work quite well against the backdrop of the search, but the execution here relies on shock value and is likely too graphic for a filmmaker to take on as a project.

For me, ideas like this can be more impactful when handled with subtlety and letting the audience fill in the blanks as to what happens off-screen.  Less is more.  It's a miss for me.

I must say, this was an uncomfortable read.  I wouldn't want to watch something like this.