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Who Killed The Cat - May (currently 838 views) |
Don |
Posted: May 11th, 2021, 6:09pm |
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AdministratorAdministrator So, what are you writing?
LocationVirginia Posts16561 Posts Per Day 1.92 |
Who Killed The Cat by I Don't Know - When the cat dies, somebody has to pay. Short, Horror |
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------------- You will miss 100% of the shots you don't take. - Wayne Gretzky
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Warren |
Posted: May 11th, 2021, 6:33pm |
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Of The Ancients A man who has taught his mind to misbehave
LocationSydney, Australia Posts3890 Posts Per Day 1.28 |
Hi writer,
First cab off the rank...
Very decent entry here, I can see something like this being picked up super quick.
Good writing on display as well.
Nice one.
All the best. |
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Reply: 1 - 27 |
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spesh2k |
Posted: May 11th, 2021, 6:50pm |
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January Project Group
LocationHarlem USA Posts1186 Posts Per Day 0.20 |
This was a nice entry with a nice, demented twist I usually gravitate towards. The writing was solid, though the cat thing was a little confusing -- did they each have a cat? Or did they each consider the cat THEIR'S?
Any way, a nice, demented, no-budget piece. Good work!
-- Michael |
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Reply: 2 - 27 |
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irish eyes |
Posted: May 11th, 2021, 7:54pm |
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January Project Group There`s too much blood in my alcohol
LocationUpstate New York Posts1861 Posts Per Day 0.35 |
Pretty nice entry
Dark and twisted and could easily be filmed
Well done |
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mmmarnie |
Posted: May 11th, 2021, 9:27pm |
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January Project Group
Posts1079 Posts Per Day 0.21 |
Nice job here. I like the story and the writing is good. Great twist. Nice work, writer!! |
| boop |
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Zack |
Posted: May 11th, 2021, 9:35pm |
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Of The Ancients Show. Don't tell.
LocationErlanger, KY Posts4579 Posts Per Day 0.68 |
This is a dark tale with a comedic bite. My kinda stuff. Not much else to say other than I really liked iit! Great job. |
| Don't get it right. Get it written. |
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Pleb |
Posted: May 12th, 2021, 3:11am |
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LocationUK Posts433 Posts Per Day 0.14 |
I enjoyed this. Darkly humorous if not a little far-fetched, but it's well written and not as samey as a number of the other entries.
Good job
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Matthew Taylor |
Posted: May 12th, 2021, 5:28am |
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Old Timer
LocationShakespeare's county Posts1819 Posts Per Day 0.84 |
Wasn't really a fan of this one.
Well written and different for sure.
Best of luck |
| Feature
42.2
Two steps to writing a good screenplay: 1) Write a bad one 2) Fix it |
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MarkRenshaw |
Posted: May 12th, 2021, 9:02am |
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January Project Group
LocationUK Posts2326 Posts Per Day 0.56 |
Simple and effective, good job. I would question why they would kill each other if they wasn't 100% sure the other had killed the cat, but they all seem like psychos so it's fine. |
| For more of my scripts, stories, produced movies and the ocassional blog, check out my new website. CLICK |
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Yuvraj |
Posted: May 12th, 2021, 10:50am |
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Been Around
LocationWhy you wanna know? Posts811 Posts Per Day 0.47 |
This was dark but ok. Well written though. |
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Reply: 9 - 27 |
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bert |
Posted: May 12th, 2021, 11:03am |
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AdministratorBuy the ticket, take the ride
LocationThat's me in the corner Posts4237 Posts Per Day 0.60 |
Ha! Swing and a miss here, but points for a bonkers approach.
Something else is needed to have this hit on all cylinders, but not sure what it is.
Maybe introduce the boy earlier? |
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eldave1 |
Posted: May 12th, 2021, 12:14pm |
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January Project Group
LocationSouthern California Posts6874 Posts Per Day 1.86 |
Good story - well told.
A bit hard to wrap my mind around a couple killing each other over a cat - but okay.
A lot wedged in two pages - good job. |
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Spqr |
Posted: May 12th, 2021, 12:14pm |
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Posts478 Posts Per Day 0.08 |
Entertaining story, and kind of funny. Was it the Boy's DNA, or the poor parenting skills of Muriel and Bert that turned him into a little monster? At least Muriel and Bert thought they had a good reason for killing the other, but Boy is just a psychopath! |
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JEStaats |
Posted: May 12th, 2021, 1:11pm |
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Old Timer No sh*t, there I was....
LocationTucson, AZ Posts1733 Posts Per Day 0.58 |
Great story but this kinda blew it for me:
BERT He’s growing up fast. Bert drops dead.
MURIEL Such a good boy.
I think I would've enjoyed it more if maybe they both said the Boy's name in unison and died. Regardless, the whole story is so farfetched that it doesn't matter if they realize they are a family of psychos. Good work. |
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Cacutshaw |
Posted: May 12th, 2021, 1:18pm |
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January Project Group
Posts177 Posts Per Day 0.07 |
I liked that it was a family of psychos killing each other because of a cat, only to be proud of their cat killing son.
It might be just me though, but I wish it was something other than the cliche of a couple finding out they poisoned each other as the murder. Maybe something a bit more psychotic for these obviously demented human beings. |
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Geezis |
Posted: May 12th, 2021, 2:32pm |
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January Project Group There's always a single malt waiting for you.
LocationGlasgow, Scotland Posts407 Posts Per Day 0.24 |
Nicely done. Hard to imagine someone killing someone over the death of a cat but that's incidental to the decency of the story. Very well done. |
| If at first you don't succeed........bribe someone. |
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AnthonyCawood |
Posted: May 12th, 2021, 5:21pm |
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January Project Group
LocationUK Posts4367 Posts Per Day 1.10 |
Funny, but its a CAT! At least make it a dog so that it's believable May be just me but got a sort of Adams Family vibe from it. |
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Gary in Houston |
Posted: May 12th, 2021, 8:46pm |
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Old Timer
LocationTexas Posts1305 Posts Per Day 0.30 |
Utterly creepy and fun and over the top and a great twist at the end. Great job there. |
| Some of my scripts:
Bounty (TV Pilot) -- Top 1% of discoverable screenplays on Coverfly I'll Be Seeing You (short) - OWC winner The Gambler (short) - OWC winner Skip (short) - filmed Country Road 12 (short) - filmed The Family Man (short) - filmed The Journeyers (feature) - optioned
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SAC |
Posted: May 12th, 2021, 8:46pm |
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Of The Ancients … but some dreams do
LocationUpstate NY Posts3228 Posts Per Day 0.76 |
Writer,
Pretty good one. Nice twist, descriptive, visual. Check. Only thing is I don't think it was creepy enough. That part could have been amped up. Otherwise, solid.
Steve |
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Gum |
Posted: May 13th, 2021, 9:41am |
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Been Around
LocationSome travelling Circus... Posts839 Posts Per Day 0.39 |
… and the cat came back, the very next daaaay! Always loved that little vignette, or litter vignette. Anyway, yeah, this was quick and to the punch, gut punch with poison that is. That must be one special cat, or cats if I’m reading that right, to warrant the retribution of death. I think in Egypt, back in the day, they had a death penalty for harming a cat, as they were seen as royalty, or God-like creatures. Me… I think they’re no more than a domesticated rat, but I better not say that out loud, cause that just might warrant death from cat lovers. Anyway, fun entry, works well for a 2-page snippet; a few questions unanswered, but meh… Best of luck. |
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ReneC |
Posted: May 13th, 2021, 11:40am |
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Old Timer
LocationVancouver, BC Posts1434 Posts Per Day 0.30 |
They were so focused on each other that the reveal of the fact they even have a son works for the twist. It starts at an absurd level where the death of a cat is ground for justifiable homicide, and the absurdity ramps up with the reveal.
I wasn't a fan of no reaction from the boy. Not even a shoulder shrug, or maybe disappointment that he wasn't the one to kill them.
As a one-and-done it's not bad. It's like if the Addams Family immediately succeeded in killing one another, end of story. |
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MarkItZero |
Posted: May 13th, 2021, 12:55pm |
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Old Timer
Posts1006 Posts Per Day 0.33 |
A nice twisted little tale. This might screw up the ending, but could consider bringing the kid into it earlier? He's at the dinner table with them, the picture of innocence. Just a thought. |
| That rug really tied the room together. |
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stevemiles |
Posted: May 13th, 2021, 3:51pm |
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January Project Group
Posts745 Posts Per Day 0.15 |
Simple and effective with a darkly comic twist. Could be one to come back to with a little more meat on the bone for setting up the family dynamic a little more. Nicely handled for the challenge. |
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Claudio |
Posted: May 13th, 2021, 8:43pm |
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January Project Group
LocationLos Angeles Posts102 Posts Per Day 0.05 |
Cute, funny, and morbid!? I need to take driving lessons from this writer, because I admire how they navigated those traffic cones.
This reminded me a little bit of Courage the Cowardly Dog, for some reason. I'm glad that it didn't just end with the old poison switcheroo. So many "nice touches" here, excellent work.
One of my top 5, awesome stuff~
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Bort |
Posted: May 13th, 2021, 9:35pm |
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January Project Group
LocationToronto, Canada Posts40 Posts Per Day 0.03 |
This is reads like a black comedy horror because of how absurd it is.
Solid entry, one of my faves. Good job writer. |
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PKCardinal |
Posted: May 14th, 2021, 1:50pm |
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January Project Group
LocationKansas Posts1457 Posts Per Day 0.59 |
It might be just me though, but I wish it was something other than the cliche of a couple finding out they poisoned each other as the murder. Maybe something a bit more psychotic for these obviously demented human beings.
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Busted. This is a great note. I'll look for another way. |
| PaulKWrites.com
60 Feet Under - Low budget, contained thriller/Feature The Hand of God - Low budget, semi-contained thriller/Feature Wait Till Next Year - Disney-style family sports comedy/Feature
Many shorts available for production: comedy, thriller, drama, light horror |
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PKCardinal |
Posted: May 14th, 2021, 1:51pm |
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January Project Group
LocationKansas Posts1457 Posts Per Day 0.59 |
A nice twisted little tale. This might screw up the ending, but could consider bringing the kid into it earlier? He's at the dinner table with them, the picture of innocence. Just a thought. |
Excellent thought. I'll take a look. Thanks! |
| PaulKWrites.com
60 Feet Under - Low budget, contained thriller/Feature The Hand of God - Low budget, semi-contained thriller/Feature Wait Till Next Year - Disney-style family sports comedy/Feature
Many shorts available for production: comedy, thriller, drama, light horror |
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PKCardinal |
Posted: May 14th, 2021, 1:56pm |
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January Project Group
LocationKansas Posts1457 Posts Per Day 0.59 |
FYI, it was one cat. Each considered it "theirs."
Also, I figured anybody psycho enough to kill someone over a cat is psycho enough to marry somebody who would kill someone over a cat. And, if two psychos married each other, surely they'd have a psycho child. AND, they'd be proud of their psycho child. It kind of wrote itself.
As for the child having no reaction at the end... that was a conscious choice. This child has no feelings for anyone or anything. But, I could definitely see the argument for him looking at his dead parents and saying, "Awww. I wanted to do that." |
| PaulKWrites.com
60 Feet Under - Low budget, contained thriller/Feature The Hand of God - Low budget, semi-contained thriller/Feature Wait Till Next Year - Disney-style family sports comedy/Feature
Many shorts available for production: comedy, thriller, drama, light horror |
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