SimplyScripts Discussion Board
Blog Home - Produced Movie Script Library - TV Scripts - Unproduced Scripts - Contact - Site Map
ScriptSearch
Welcome, Guest.
It is October 17th, 2021, 3:11am
Please login or register.
Was Portal Recent Posts Home Help Calendar Search Register Login
Please do read the guidelines that govern behavior on the discussion board. It will make for a much more pleasant experience for everyone. A word about SimplyScripts and Censorship


Produced Script Database (Updated!)
The scripts of the Halloween 2021 One Week Challenge


The January Project!
If you want access to the January Project, click here

Short Script of the Day | Featured Script of the Month | Featured Short Scripts Available for Production
Submit Your Script

How do I get my film's link and banner here?
All screenplays on the simplyscripts.com and simplyscripts.net domain are copyrighted to their respective authors. All rights reserved. This screenplaymay not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.
Forum Login
Username: Create a new Account
Password:     Forgot Password

SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    One Week Challenge    The June 2021 Challenge  ›  I Do... - June Challenge Moderators: Zack
Users Browsing Forum
No Members and 1 Guests

 Pages: 1, 2 : All
Recommend Print
  Author    I Do... - June Challenge  (currently 300 views)
Don
Posted: June 21st, 2021, 1:05pm Report to Moderator
Administrator
Administrator


So, what are you writing?

Location
Virginia
Posts
15039
Posts Per Day
1.99
I Do... by Someone Else - A bride to be is confused by the wedding vows proposed to her by the minister.  Short, Dramedy


Visit SimplyScripts.com for what is new on the site.

-------------
You will miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
- Wayne Gretzky
Logged
Site Private Message
Gary in Houston
Posted: June 21st, 2021, 1:54pm Report to Moderator
January Project Group



Location
Texas
Posts
1188
Posts Per Day
0.37
Clean and well-written, pretty easy to visualize everything going on here.  Certainly a different take on the idea of being trapped -- it's being metaphorically trapped in a situation and feeling the pressure of having your whole life being constrained in a relationship.

It's a bit difficult to have her get out of the situation except on her own, given the rules of the challenge, but it might have been interesting to just take it on a truly over the top situation.  Like a marauding band of women with sabers and assault weapons come in to try and rescue her, but she declares that this is something she has to do on her own and does a lot of action moves to get out of the church.  I don't know, just spitballing.  Or maybe have her show her anxiety before the wedding so we know why she's hearing what she does from the minister.  Again, page limits keep you from delving too deep into the story.

Still, good effort and a different twist on the challenge. Best of luck.


An utterly mediocre writer who somehow still falls bass ackwards into getting some of his scripts produced.
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 1 - 15
Arundel
Posted: June 21st, 2021, 7:09pm Report to Moderator
January Project Group



Location
Las Vegas, Nevada
Posts
209
Posts Per Day
0.23
Interesting take on the escape theme. Outside the box. I got it and liked how it played out.
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 2 - 15
AnthonyCawood
Posted: June 21st, 2021, 7:24pm Report to Moderator
January Project Group



Location
UK
Posts
3828
Posts Per Day
1.32
Well written piece but I'm not entirely sure she's trapped in any real sense, afterall she said yes to getting married in the first place.

But, it's well written and moves long at a decent pace.

I wonder how many Brides, and Grooms, stand there and think similar.

Decent effort.


Anthony Cawood - Award winning screenwriter
Available Short screenplays - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/short-scripts
Available Feature screenplays - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/feature-film-scripts/
Screenwriting articles - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/articles
IMDB Link - http://www.imdb.com/name/nm6495672/?ref_=fn_al_nm_1
Logged Online
Site Private Message Reply: 3 - 15
_ghostwriters
Posted: June 21st, 2021, 8:22pm Report to Moderator
Old Timer



Location
A helluva long way from LA
Posts
1235
Posts Per Day
0.27
Ahhh... gotcha.

Haha, nice take on Runaway Bride. Luv those films. Luv the concept -- it one of those we've all seen before, but it ages like fine wine. Quite frankly, I didn't care too much for the RB script but the film turned out great. I did, however, enjoy this. Dani, the bride to be has anything, but cold feet. She might as well be wearing running shoes down the alter, as that is what we get to see, and it would be a funny thing to watch as well.  As much of a d!ck as this dude is... I can’t blame her I would have done the same damn thing.

Truthfully, I'm glad you didn't go over-the-top. I just think it would be the wrong way to go here. You kept it simple. Even a blind man can visualize it...if one were to read it to him. Um, methinks some might miss the boat with Dani being "trapped." Silly me...

You have a unique style and it works. Can't really think of anything to critique with this. Loved it. Best of Irish luck! -A


Logged
Private Message Reply: 4 - 15
LC
Posted: June 21st, 2021, 8:46pm Report to Moderator
Administrator



Location
The Great Southern Land
Posts
6130
Posts Per Day
1.29
I envisaged being 'physically trapped' with this challenge, or some impediment preventing escape.

That said, nice effort here. I imagine it takes a lot to walk out on your own wedding.

Loved the surreal aspect of this and you crafted it very well with the addition of the dreamlike/trapped sequence with everyone else basically ignoring her. She signed up for one thing but her fears of what will actually materialise is potent, and quite a nice commentary - fantasy v reality, at least with this particular match.

Great comedic timing with:

I do...
I do... Not.  




Logged
Private Message Reply: 5 - 15
Gum
Posted: June 21st, 2021, 8:59pm Report to Moderator
Been Around



Location
Some travelling Circus...
Posts
695
Posts Per Day
0.64
I guess this could work both ways, and it always seems like it would be the Groom who has second thoughts, especially if the Bride’s Maids were better looking than his soon to be, 'very' soon to be wife, he might feel the weight of a chain closing in around his ankle… even if just metaphorically. Mind you, maybe the Groomsmen were a few Chip n’ Dale type looking beefcakes and she was thinking the same thing.

Anyway, the feeling of being trapped in a situation is probably not the same as being trapped in a situation physically, but even an escape room has a way out, you just need to find the key. In this case, it was just a matter of walking away, which could actually be a lot harder than escaping a moving vehicle, there’s bound to be some emotional scarring for everyone involved, and the prospect of returning to what it was only moments prior to running off could never happen… got deep there, sorry. I like the premise and it fits the narrative, or theme that is. Best of luck.


My scripts and templates: Obfuscation
Logged
Private Message Reply: 6 - 15
PedroS
Posted: June 22nd, 2021, 3:18am Report to Moderator
January Project Group



Posts
48
Posts Per Day
0.03
At first sight comedic and on the second very poetic.
Nicely executed.

Thank you
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 7 - 15
Yuvraj
Posted: June 22nd, 2021, 12:38pm Report to Moderator
Been Around



Location
At my desk
Posts
573
Posts Per Day
0.88
I don't think this fulfills the challenge. Not physically trapped. But been said that, a nice comedic effort here. A good use of reality and fantasy here.

Good luck.


Logged
Private Message Reply: 8 - 15
JEStaats
Posted: June 22nd, 2021, 2:01pm Report to Moderator
Old Timer


No sh*t, there I was....

Location
Tucson, AZ
Posts
1627
Posts Per Day
0.86
Debatable. I liked it and think it fits as she felt trapped in her interpretation of marriage and was able to escape it. Physically trapped? She definitely felt the squeeze and claustrophobia of commitment.

Good work, writer.
Logged
Private Message Reply: 9 - 15
Zack
Posted: June 23rd, 2021, 3:33pm Report to Moderator
January Project Group


Don't get it right. Get it written.

Location
Kentucky
Posts
4021
Posts Per Day
0.71
Fantastic writing on display here. Really like pretty much everything about this one, other than the fact that no character was "physically" trapped/stuck. I do see your argument, just not sure I buy it.

Still, I really like this and expect it to score high. Great job.


WITCH HUNT - horror, 77 pgs

THE 1997 TEXAS CHAIN SAW MASSACRE - horror, 82 pgs

HERE COMES THE BOGEYMAN - horror, 24 pgs
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 10 - 15
PKCardinal
Posted: June 23rd, 2021, 3:47pm Report to Moderator
January Project Group



Location
Kansas
Posts
1099
Posts Per Day
0.79
I liked every bit of this except for the last line of dialogue. It felt like a defense of your script specific to the challenge.

Though, I do think you need an ending.

Still, I enjoyed this commentary on societal expectations. Well done.


PaulKWrites.com

60 Feet Under - Low budget, contained thriller/Feature
The Hand of God - Low budget, semi-contained thriller/Feature
Wait Till Next Year - Disney-style family sports comedy/Feature

Many shorts available for production: comedy, thriller, drama, light horror
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 11 - 15
Mr.Ripley
Posted: June 23rd, 2021, 6:35pm Report to Moderator
January Project Group


Writing

Location
New York
Posts
1979
Posts Per Day
0.35
Hey writer,

Congrats on completing the challenge.

Notes: this was funny. Unfortunately, per the task, it didn’t feel like she was trapped. She did say no and got the hell out of there, lol. I see this getting easily picked up and made, which is the important thing, lol.

Hope this helps,
Gabe


Just Murdered by Sean Elwood (Zombie Sean) and Gabriel Moronta (Mr. Ripley) - (Dark Comedy, Horror) All is fair in love and war. A hopeless romantic gay man resorts to bloodshed to win the coveted position of Bridesmaid. 99 pages.
https://www.simplyscripts.net/cgi-bin/Blah/Blah.pl?b-comedy/m-1624410571/
Logged
Site Private Message Reply: 12 - 15
Abe from LA
Posted: June 24th, 2021, 4:31am Report to Moderator
New



Location
Downey, California
Posts
463
Posts Per Day
0.08
Good writing here. But I didn't quite feel that Dani was trapped. She's a strong and smart character. I guess I expected her to "run." If this was set in the 1950s, it would feel different because of societal expectations/pressures. But, overall an enjoyable ride.
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 13 - 15
Spqr
Posted: June 24th, 2021, 6:03pm Report to Moderator
New


Posts
470
Posts Per Day
0.10
I kept expecting Dani to wake up from the nightmare. But no, she was obviously transported somewhere or somewhen where women are treated like chattel. But no, these people seem like everyday folks. So how did Dani get this far without realizing what type of people she was mixing herself up with?  While I appreciate the sentiment expressed in this scrip, Dani doesn’t come off as an innocent in this affair.
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 14 - 15
Lono
Posted: June 25th, 2021, 5:14pm Report to Moderator
New


Location
Canada
Posts
90
Posts Per Day
0.03
Writer,

I really like the writing in this one. Reminded me of The Graduate in a way, I think you did a really great job showing us the internal life of the bride. I don't think this is an easy thing to try and write, but you did a heck of a job. It doesn't technically fit the parameters of the challenge, but it's a great piece of writing regardless.  Nice work.
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 15 - 15
 Pages: 1, 2 : All
Recommend Print

Locked Board Board Index    The June 2021 Challenge  [ previous | next ] Switch to:
Was Portal Recent Posts Home Help Calendar Search Register Login

Forum Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post polls
You may not post attachments
HTML is on
Blah Code is on
Smilies are on


Powered by E-Blah Platinum 9.71B © 2001-2006