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This is a very solid script. The writing is sharp and the overall idea is a good one. I like the line "I look divorced." Nancy moment in the car at the end is a little shocking, but effective.
I feel like the script could use a bit more tension, either between Nancy and her former student or with her husband at the end. Maybe the former student should have an ax to grind with his former teacher.
Haha! A Sexual 'Hall Pass' huh? Sort of. Nancy going to get her kink on. Okay, Nancy loves him and Morgan loves her. Clearly both are comfortable with this arrangement. I get it, I do, and it’s a solid story, no doubt, but...it’s too swell of a marriage. Methinks somewhere in here you do need to amp up the tension. Maybe her hubby is not okay with it anymore or maybe she tries to break things off with Greg, and he doesn't want that. Anywaz, I’m just rambling. Believe it or not, I really do like this, but more work on the estranged angle is needed. JMHO. Good effort. Best of Irish luck! -A
The story itself just felt a little all over the place for me, a bit unfocused as to what the actual take-away was.
Nancy and Greg meet, but nothing much happens apart from flattery and reminiscing. I think it might have been more powerful if Greg rejected Nancy following some clumsy sexual overtures - more conflict, more sad and cringe-worthy - and then home to reality and Morgan. That'd be my preference over the masturbation scene which, much as I wasn't expecting it, didn't quite work for me. If you're sticking with that scene I think it might resonate more if you added tears - aka: sadsturbating, mastursobbing.
There's a lot to like here, don't get me wrong, but I think you could have mined just a bit more in the emotional department.
A couple of really nice lines in here, as others have pointed out.
Overall, it fell a bit flat though. The teacher thing was a nice little twist that might have been played for more tension. As Greg is older now, how does he view their past relationship -- whatever it was? Did they have a relationship at all? Was it inappropriate? If so, how did that affect him as he navigated young adulthood and then into his marriage? Is it somehow connected to his divorce?
Obviously, you went for subtle. And, generally, I like that. Unfortunately, this time, I wanted a bit more. Except when it wasn't subtle... then I wanted a bit less.
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