First of all, really dig the cover page. It’s a real tone setter and lays the foundation for the upcoming story.  Good use of AI there.

The story was a bit of a twist on the urban myth of Candyman, but rather than a monster appearing, the monster is instead the cabin.  That was unique, especially with the twist at the end of the house reappearing after it collapses in consuming the girls. Nice way to destroy the cabin.

I think if it would really help to have a couple of more pages to draw out the story a little, so we understand why the girls are there to begin with – how did they find the house, or why are they specifically using that house?  I think you tried with Josie speaking to the camera and talking about Murdering Millie but I think it could still use a little more exploring of the story.  Good writing on display.  Best of luck with it.  

This was an enjoyable story about a proverbial fly trap in the woods collecting victims.

I found it quite clever.

I guess you created the title page to communicate the tone of the story -- scary but not horrifying.

But maybe it should be more horrifying because the writing style and story building to me is very good until the climax.

I doubt Murdering Millie Crocket killed her victumes  by collapsing a house or shack on them, so what if she did it with a shovel, or a fire iron, or pitch fork. If you incorporate an unusual weapon into the legend and then leverage the appearance of that in their savage death it might add more gravitas to their demise.  

And if the weapon was on the ground as the boys approached the house and horsed around with it...we would know what's next but not have to see it.

Your premise is good - like Blair Witch - which screwed with out imagination, and with those yet blank pages you could really mess with out minds!