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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    One Week Challenge    January 2019 -††One Week Challenge  ›  Cowboy for a Day - OWC
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  Author    Cowboy for a Day - OWC  (currently 1395 views)
Cam Gray
Posted: February 18th, 2019, 12:47pm Report to Moderator
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Alright Jeff, sorry to get you confused.

Iíll clarify for you as this appeared on the first page:


Quoted Text
CELESTE, 27, smoking hot Latino, wearing an open robe with
nothing underneath, enters, wiping her mouth with a towel.
                      RYKER (V.O.)
          You keeping warm?
                      JOHNNY
          Yeah, Celeste just blew me and I
          thought about givin' ya a call.


I mean thereís crude, then this. Having been exposed to rather a lot of industry types of late, if I was to present them with the above it would probably result in myself being sent out of the room and asked not to come back.

Hopefully that clarifies things, let us leave it there and if others didnít have an issue then I guess youíre all good.

Cam


23 Mu Muís in an ice cream van...
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Dreamscale
Posted: February 18th, 2019, 2:18pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Cam Gray
Alright Jeff, sorry to get you confused.

Iíll clarify for you as this appeared on the first page:



I mean thereís crude, then this. Having been exposed to rather a lot of industry types of late, if I was to present them with the above it would probably result in myself being sent out of the room and asked not to come back.

Hopefully that clarifies things, let us leave it there and if others didnít have an issue then I guess youíre all good.

Cam


Cam, I still don't have a clue what your comments were supposed to mean.

IMO, this ain't no big thang, but if you were offended or whatever, I apologize.


To ski or not to ski...that's not even a question.
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eldave1
Posted: February 18th, 2019, 2:39pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Dreamscale


Cam, I still don't have a clue what your comments were supposed to mean.

IMO, this ain't no big thang, but if you were offended or whatever, I apologize.


Good. Lord.

It is a problem because it makes a reader think that writer thinks women = piece of meat.

You can have all the swearing you want. You can have BJs. You can have her wiping her chin.

And, if you want us to hate your character, you can have him share info about the BJ over the phone to his friend as the girl stands there.

If you want us to hate the friend, you can have him ask about he girl's tits.

If you want us to really, really hate the dude - follow-up later on with another scene where he calls just to say he got a BJ.

But if you want to go really off the rails, - this is what Cam is talking about I think - have the woman be totally non-plussed about these dudes behavior. She wouldn't mouth asshole and sit in the bed. The issue is not only do they treat her like meat - she's okay with it - in fact - she came back for more essentially endorsing her own demeaning.  

Your girlfriend would talk to you after reading it. Wasn't that clue enough????


My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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Cam Gray
Posted: February 18th, 2019, 3:04pm Report to Moderator
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Appreciate you jumping in Dave, but I'd let it go. Some things really shouldn't need explaining.

Been a good challenge as per usual and generally carried out in the usual exemplary manner, and butting heads over this ain't gonna do much apart from draw some attention to the offending lines/introduce some unwanted venom.


23 Mu Muís in an ice cream van...
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eldave1
Posted: February 18th, 2019, 3:32pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Cam Gray
Appreciate you jumping in Dave, but I'd let it go. Some things really shouldn't need explaining.

Been a good challenge as per usual and generally carried out in the usual exemplary manner, and butting heads over this ain't gonna do much apart from draw some attention to the offending lines/introduce some unwanted venom.


It's my last effort


My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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Dreamscale
Posted: February 18th, 2019, 3:40pm Report to Moderator
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Wow, I must be a total idiot or something, but what I'm asking is what the below quote is supposed to mean.


Quoted from Cam Gray
Okay, straight out of the gate, the dialogue and actions are so metoo-able itís painful. Itís not like it was funny in the previous climate so I donít think itís gonna win you any plaudits in the time we find ourselves in now.Cam


What is "metto-able" mean?  What does "the previous climate" relate to?  What does the last part mean about winning plaudits in the time we find ourselves now?

I'm totally lost.



To ski or not to ski...that's not even a question.
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eldave1
Posted: February 18th, 2019, 3:45pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Dreamscale
Wow, I must be a total idiot or something, but what I'm asking is what the below quote is supposed to mean.



What is "metto-able" mean?  What does "the previous climate" relate to?  What does the last part mean about winning plaudits in the time we find ourselves now?

I'm totally lost.



It means me too as in the me too movement.

Previous means prior to the movement


My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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Dreamscale
Posted: February 18th, 2019, 3:50pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from eldave1


It means me too as in the me too movement.

Previous means prior to the movement


Ohhh...gotcha. I had absolutely no idea.  Thanks.



To ski or not to ski...that's not even a question.
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Cam Gray
Posted: February 18th, 2019, 3:51pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from eldave1


It means me too as in the me too movement.

Previous means prior to the movement


Seriously, Dave, let him be and stop the comments piling up. Itís all fairly obvious and if anyoneís confused thereís always google.


23 Mu Muís in an ice cream van...
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Dreamscale
Posted: February 18th, 2019, 7:41pm Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


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Quoted from Cam Gray


Seriously, Dave, let him be and stop the comments piling up. Itís all fairly obvious and if anyoneís confused thereís always google.


Thanks, Cam.  You're a peach.



To ski or not to ski...that's not even a question.
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PrussianMosby
Posted: February 20th, 2019, 6:48am Report to Moderator
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Man, I told you I come watching for some material of yours, so time to burry your script as you do it to my work :-)

No, seriously, with me, you very often get away with your stuff because I like your 'out of the box' characters and worlds.

The characters here are so over the top idiotic and live in such a sexualized plotline that they, to me, build an organic cinematic expression. The story does not work, no, too aimless and convoluted, also lack the rom for this challenge.

However, the whole tone of sexism, vulgar objectivism is very well balanced imo.
There is Mandy (possibly the smartest character among the fools), for instance, who leaves the naughty boy half-way dead at the pondÖ  Compare that to Celeste being reduced and belittled by her boyfriend, which she accepts with a middle finger toward him and a hit from the bongÖ

AndÖ I actually just thought how the reaction with the audience would be if you change the gender of each character, starting with a stripping guy and his stoner-girlfriend telling her mate she's been *licked* just a minute before :-) and the other boy is him who likes horses etc. Just a thought. If you have a serious attempt in writing something in that area at some point, I'd even think to go more crazy and break some more barriers of the game of sexes.

Good risks as usual, Jeff.

Hope my words make some sense.



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Dreamscale
Posted: February 20th, 2019, 10:18am Report to Moderator
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Thanks, Alex.  I always appreciate your comments.


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