Quoted from Ledbetter There is a difference between sex and F**king, you know.

Are you sure about this?

Dirty.

Quoted from Ledbetter one may find themselves "thrusting"...

One may indeed. One? Isn't someone else supposed to be there as well?

I've been known to thrust when fencing.
Not the prissy thing with the masks and all that. I 'thrust' the wood into the hole. Oh stop it.

Enough of this banter. I'm off to play with my marbles.

R

Quoted from Ledbetter Your problem may be is that you wrote a "sex" scene. Sounds like a high school VD video. Why not write a fuck scene instead. There is a difference between sex and fucking, you know. When engaging in sex, one may find themselves "thrusting"... When fucking, you slam, you pin, you bite, you taste, you penetrate, you grasp, you gain position, you lose your mind. Or you can write a sex scene, and thrust. Depends on what you want us to see. If it's just sex, please, just leave the light off.   Shawn.....><

It is actually more of a f@#k scene, a quick one over the kitchen sink. Just thought it was more appropriate to call it a sex scene on here. While I have used thrust more then I would like, it does mention 'harder and faster' and if I remember right, the words 'deeper' and 'penetration' come up too. Not to mention skin 'thwacking' against skin and gritted teeth and moans and groans.

So far I'm happy with it, but when I go over it I'll probably switch it up a bit. It is a good indicator of the character of the man who's doing the deed. He's pretty horrible, and for want of a better expression, it comes with a surprise ending.

At the moment I'm putting this down as good publicity, get the people talking about what I've written, make them want to dip in. What's not to like about sex and violence in a story, eh?

Quoted from ArtyDoubleYou if I remember right, the words 'deeper' and 'penetration' come up too.

I hope the word penetration was in dialogue, because it's certainly not something that we will see, unless you're writing porn.  


I didn't get anything done at all today on my script.  

Quoted from Angry Bear I didn't get anything done at all today on my script.

I'm not sure you should say this just after you mention porn. People may get the wrong idea.

R

Ookay. Finally finished up some other stuff. Sitting down to page 11

Chime.

Just finished the first draft. Or vomit draft, as per popular term. I'm sitting at 99 pages. Rewriting commences.

I'm looking forward to the feedback process as well. I find the, dare I say, more controversial commentators like Dustin and  DreamScale very helpful.  Love it or hate it you know instantly how they feel.  I really appreciate their no bullshit points of view. I'm not trying to brown nose, it just seems sometimes they get a lot of flack. Even if they've never really liked my stuff, their comments really helped me, personally.

I just had to put that out there. Especially after I read another debate between you guys. Both of you call it like it is. Now, play nice, kids.

that said, all feedback from all users is so helpful to the writing process.  I'm glad I found this site. These challenges give a good push to focus and an excuse to just write.

good luck all... I really look forward to reading all your features.

Vomit draft finished at 93 pages. Treatment done and final direction figured out. I'll start writing tomorrow and should have a first draft finished by the weekend.

After that I can get back to looking hard at the Smackhead script I'll be filming in September.

Finished my first draft... comes in at 74 pages.  I'm happy with it, even though it's a little shorter than I originally intended it to be.  74 pages is okay though, it's the shortest script I've ever written, but it's tight and very good for me.  I'll submit it on deadline week.  Vomit draft clocks in at 89 pages, just in case you wanted to know.

Now to actually vacate during my vacation, feet up, Netflix on 360, Prison Break, Dexter, Sons of Anarchy and Breaking Bad, all shows I'VE NEVER SEEN BEFORE and a whole load of ice cream.

See you folks when I'm 80lbs heavier and 80% less dignified.  lol.

Watch Sons of Anarchy first.

Quoted from Guest Watch Sons of Anarchy first.

Increase your page length first!     74 pages is a bad sign, my friend.

agreed, try another re-write and at least get it to 80.

Ughghghghghghgh... I've been on a long neverending vacation and now I'm so behind that thinking to give up.
I'm so sorry.

Maybe I won't, let's see. The thing is - I've been working on this other script for a while and it's been in the process of a rewrite. Then my budy reader read it and I'm kind of thinking to finish with that one first. Unfortunately for me, I can't multitask. It's either this one or that.

I'm planning to post it on SS and ask for read exchanges. It's a horror by the way and a thriller. I just have to read it one last time...

And about these 10 - I'll try my best. The script is so unlucky - for some reason I never get to write it. Maybe it was not meant to be written.

I think I’m in the same boat as quite a few peeps here, or at least… some, in regards to getting this script up and running/finished.

I got about 40 pages in, scrapped 10 because; well… they were too bizarre. Wrote in to about 50 pages again, then after reading it through realized that my protag is nowhere in sight and, I’ve introduced more characters than a Cirque du Soleil, plus I’ve only killed off one person so far, oh yes… there will be blood! LOL, or maybe not,  but definitely smoke and fire billowing out of a 50 foot axe wielding Tinman… wink, wink n’ sh!t…

Now, to add insult to injury, I had this ridiculous idea for another script, thought I’d pick up my guitar and write one song for it, just one - kind of like an inspiring soundtrack if you will – but that didn’t go as planned, cause now I’m up to 18 tracks and I’m trying desperately to mix/master them in FL Studio every night as if my life depended on it for no apparent reason, including creating some artwork conception in Photoshop, but I still haven’t even started THAT freakin’ script yet! Not sure where this one will all go, but whatever…

I think the next book I’ll dig into will be about ‘Time Management’ or better yet – how about another ‘How to write a screenplay’ book. Considering the premise of the script challenge, I think that would be fitting. Who knows, maybe I’ll get a burst of creativity to finish off this feature, but it’s not looking too promising.

Kudos to those who finish a script for this challenge…

Try that How NOT to write a screenplay book by erm... hang on, Denny Flinn. It helps enormously. I tried Robert McKee's Story again recently, and some of it's good, but most of it bored the arse off me.

I also recommend reading scripts of films you like. You pick up phrasings and tones and see how it's done. You know when it's good and what worked in the film already.

I would crow about how well my own is going. But I'd be lying. And even if I wasn't, it would seem unmannerly. Twould not do.

Best of luck.

R

quote AsfarasSiam "... I had this ridiculous idea for another script, thought I’d pick up my guitar and write one song for it, just one - kind of like an inspiring soundtrack if you will – but that didn’t go as planned, cause now I’m up to 18 tracks and I’m trying desperately to mix/master them in FL Studio every night as if my life depended on it for no apparent reason..."

You are writing and recording music! That's wonderful! if the scripts are inspiring your music, that's great but one thing is not more important than the other -- creativity is precious, work on what gives you the most joy