Thanks for all the reviews and I appreciate any recommends or considers this may have gotten.  Like many OWC entries, this one was written on the fly on Friday.  Always seems to work that way, something about an impending deadline that compels your imagination to summon up something.  Most of the critiques were on the money.  It was too talky and expository in spots, needed more tension and I could've come up with a better ending.  I tend to overwrite on first drafts and then go back and chisel it down, but just ran out of time here.  

BTW, I used the "is sat" phrase in the final scene to throw people off the trail and make 'em think this was a Brit writer.  I knew it would irk one reviewer in particular

Quoted from Ryan1 BTW, I used the "is sat" phrase in the final scene to throw people off the trail and make 'em think this was a Brit writer.  I knew it would irk one reviewer in particular

Aha! Now that didn't happen to be me did it? You got me!   Nice entry, Ryan.

Great job! I'm even more impressed you wrote this in one day! Holy smokes that's insane. The writing here is outstanding, and my personal opinion is it's not as overwritten as it could've been. Again, I'm amazed that you wrote this so quickly and precise.

I echo what John said...that's some incredible writing for one damned day!!  Loved this. Great job!

Quoted from Ryan1 BTW, I used the "is sat" phrase in the final scene to throw people off the trail and make 'em think this was a Brit writer.  I knew it would irk one reviewer in particular

That's some funny shit, Ryan.  Well done.  You got me, bro.

I actually did the same thing a number of OWC's ago...I think I actually entered 2 or 3 pissers before peeps were entering pissers, and I used that classic line, "...is sat...".

Well played.

And, you got a consider from me, even with the "is sat".

Well done Ryan.

I salute those who knock out scripts that fast. I just can't. Mind you, the time between hearing and entering was about six days and two of those were the torture of trying to work out what to write. But, in one day. Too fast for me.

PS did you number page one on purpose, or is that your system?

Quoted from Reef Dreamer PS did you number page one on purpose, or is that your system?

Actually it comes down to a glitch in Final Draft 7 when you download it on a new computer.  I'm unable to print the title page along with the rest of the script, so I have to turn that first page (page zero) into the title page.  I've heard other people complain about the same problem.    

What a twist! Fabulous description. Pure torture to imagine what poor Tess is feeling watching Marvin. And Rebecca. No spoilers, just in case someone reads after me.
What a story!

Spoilers

Fucked up story. I think you can make it worse by having satan take Marvin and leaving Tess recoup.

I would think that rebecca can handle a old guy

Other than that, nice entry.

Hope this helps
Gabe