There are technical issuesthat have already been pointed out, so I'll leave them be.

Onto the story...

Tackled/tripped they're both words. I liked that.

Hmm, this is a little all over the place and I don;t think it all gels.

I'd consider cutting the alternate versions of reality when he's imagining himself as better than he is, I don;t think they add anything.

I'd also consider just one flashback - the the explanation of the whistle bit.

The swerve into killer rats territory threw me and I can't decide if it's justified to set up the final joke - mavbe it is.

I was going to post the same as Anthony....get all your exposition into the one flashback at the start.

What's happening here is that you won't let the story begin.

It starts with a flashback, we come to the present day story, then we get another immediate flashback to see our villain, then we come briefly to the present again and immediately go back to the past for the exposition on the whistle. You keep dragging us backwards, instead of forwards.

Strange structures like that can work if there's a thematic reason...maybe it's a story called Stalled...about someone stuck in a rut, and the story keeps going back as a mirror to the main characters state of mind, but here we need to get going.

Hi Writer,

Not bad. I enjoyed it, but I think that you lost the control towards the end.

You should have stayed with your characters and their quest for the whistle, all the action with the rats, the gun and the exploding manhole covers didn't make much sense to me (at least, in this version of the script).

Apart from that, the writing was good and I liked how you built their relationship.

The comedy was light, but I liked Alexa's final lines.

Good effort,
David

The script done it’s job. It kept me reading. Characters were good.  I liked the killer collected the cop whistles.  I don’t think I ever seen a movie where the bad guy took an article as a keepsake from a cop.  

Flaming rats was pretty good.  They make exploding bullets. Depending on the type material like HMX (high melt explosives) used , can turn any flesh to rotisserie fresh at the squeeze of the trigger. I was told once it don’t have to be possible but plausible to make the audience buy into what you’re selling them.

The flying manholes lol. Guessing that was pockets of methane finding an ignition source. Like burning rats.

Real visual story.  Good job.

Hi,

I skipped reviewing this one. I must be honest it was hard to get through this one due to writing. If I make a comment it will be all about the writing. I almost never do that but here I feel compelled.
You cap whenever you like. There's a reason we stick to the rules - we don't want to annoy our reader. But I really felt annoyed and pulled out of the read. I think I'm doing good by saying it out loud. Like why the word "freezing" is capped?
You didn't give us Elmar's age at first either. Then we see it was a flashback and we see them at 20 years old.
There are a lot of exclamation points in the dialog. Looks like they scream all the time.
The story is not bad at all. And you took your time to unfold it, you did it at the nice pace. And you are a very competent writer. Much better than I am. So why you would write it this way?

I didn’t enjoy this one.

I understand you’re being creative but it felt unnecessary and a step too far.  The one decent thing I got was the Col. Klink reference.  Although a German accent would suffice.

I guess there was a tiny smudge of humour.