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Haredresser - WT (currently 863 views)
Geezis
Posted: July 9th, 2020, 8:54am
January Project Group
There's always a single malt waiting for you.
Location Glasgow, Scotland
Posts 411
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Hi, far too busy for me, too many characters trying to reinforce the fantasy element. Dialogue was a bit too stilted but it was funny at times. Maybe dial back on the imagery and tighten up the dialogue.
If at first you don't succeed........bribe someone.
Reply: 15 - 16
mmmarnie
Posted: July 9th, 2020, 8:23pm
January Project Group
Posts 1085
Posts Per Day 0.22
Okay...this was sassy. Who wrote Bab's dialog? Can't wait to find out.
boop
Reply: 16 - 16
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