Thanks for the suggestion regarding the conjuring JD. I'm sorry I didn't respond sooner but I didn't notice your message there above dogglebe's.

Quoted from tonkatough Yes dogglebe, that would suck as JK Rowling has taken seven novels to get to that moment so that is a hell of a lot of build up to one key scene. Do guns even exist in the Harry Potter universe?

Keep in mind that Harry was raised in 'real world,' so I imagine there would be plenty of guns there.  You could also strain the story's level of fantasy by showing a character using a fountain pen or playing a portable radio.  Using these everyday items would take us out of the illusion that the story creates.

Quoted from tonkatough Harry Potter is one of those sort fantasy stories where you can only enjoy it for what it is, start to think really hard about it and start to question and you start to have problems with it.

The fantasy stays at the same level so there's no reason to question it.

Quoted from tonkatough Everytime I watch a Potter film I always wish they would kick those pesky kids to the corner leave Hogwarts and have the story follow the adults around- they seem so much more interesting and I would love to know what the hell a full fledge wizard does with all that magical power?

A Snape spin-off?  That would be interesting....

Hey, when did we get a spell checker? (pardon the pun)


Phil

Hey tonkatough,

Sorry for the wait, but got to finish the reading in one sitting. It was an interesting reading. I liked the opening since it establishes what everything revolves around. I also enjoyed the magical rabbit that they called kitty (an interesting name). It was funny and chidlishly cute. How did you come up with that?

I found it hard to believe that the children will do that to themselves. even the father. He may be in a wheelchair but he can still fight. I saw that scene more as a fight and leverage for the stepmother over the husband. not knowing where the children are, the father will have to go with the story.

also wouldn't the newscasters be suspicious about the recording? they only heard oral reports and thats it. a video recording is too much. it cries out set up.

Mac repeats the dogs things too much. i think the children will figure it out by then and so will Mac.  

The dad's seizure; i dont think he can wake up fast; unsure but I think that scene should be more btw the children speaking about what to do with what to do with dad.

what happened to the dad in the end. he should be talking with the kids at the end in a three way call. lol.  

You also have too much pov's. delete them.

I was kind of confused about the sneaky snatcher being the mother in disguise. does the exploding rabbit have anything to do with that?

Hope I helped you out,
Gabe