SimplyScripts Discussion Board
Blog Home - Produced Movie Script Library - TV Scripts - Unproduced Scripts - Contact - Site Map
ScriptSearch
Welcome, Guest.
It is July 12th, 2025, 4:54am
Please login or register.
Was Portal Recent Posts Home Help Calendar Search Register Login
The primary purpose of the SimplyScripts Discussion Board is the discussion of unproduced screenplays. If you are a producer or director lookng for your next project, the works here are available for option, purchase or production only if you receive permission from the author.

NOTE: these screenplays are NOT in the public domain and MAY NOT be used or reproduced for any purpose (including eductional purposes) without the expressed written permission of the author.

New to SimplyScripts? - Tell us about yourself! | How does this discussion board work? - FAQs! | Submit Your Script
The July 2025 One Week Challenge comes, soon.

How do I get my film's link and banner here?
Short Script of the Day | Featured Shorts Available for Production | Guidelines and Censorship | Produced Script Database | Oscar Winning Screenplays through the Ages | WGA Top 101 Screenplays

Forum Login
Username: Create a new Account
Password:     Forgot Password

SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Screenwriting Discussion    Review My Logline  ›  I can’t get this logline to work - horror Moderators: LC
Users Browsing Forum
No Members and 1 Guests

 Pages: 1
Recommend Print
  Author    I can’t get this logline to work - horror   (currently 672 views)
LC
Posted: May 22nd, 2022, 2:00am Report to Moderator
Administrator



Location
The Great Southern Land
Posts
8680
Posts Per Day
1.42
Ben, this sounds very creepy but it would be helpful to know exactly how the fear manifests?

Is she now infected with other people's fears/nightmares/real life events? Hmm, no. It says her past.
Is she a grieving widow? Loss of a child?

When a grieving young woman undergoes an experimental group therapy for night terrors, she soon discovers that the treatment is worse than the cure when she starts to relive/ or, is haunted by past traumatic events.

Needs more consequences, but I need more info.  



Revision History (3 edits; 1 reasons shown)
LC  -  May 22nd, 2022, 2:25am
Logged
Private Message
Yuvraj
Posted: May 22nd, 2022, 5:41am Report to Moderator
Been Around



Location
Why you wanna know?
Posts
811
Posts Per Day
0.40
I think the logline has sufficient engaging elements for pulling in a reader. Plus, I prefer my loglines to be as short as possible, especially in the thriller/horror genre.

My take would be:

When a young grieving woman, troubled by her night terrors, escapes from a mysterious clinic conducting eerie experimental treatment, her plagued past begins to catch up with her.

Hope this helps.



Revision History (1 edits)
Yuvraj  -  May 22nd, 2022, 11:12am
Logged
Private Message Reply: 1 - 3
AlsoBen
Posted: May 22nd, 2022, 8:39am Report to Moderator
Been Around



Location
Australia
Posts
729
Posts Per Day
0.14
Thanks Yuvraj, that’s much cleaner.

LC - in terms of more info, the whole concept is this - the experimental treatment purports to be for treating night terrors, but that’s actually an initially unintentional side effect of the drug in development. The secret intention is to develop a a psych drug which makes problematic members of the population (the homeless, mentally ill, etc) more productive and effective workers (in a capitalist sense). The protagonist escapes because she suspects nefarious intentions (my goal is that the period of time before escaping the lab is hallucinatory and terrifying) and as a result of not being administered a full course, can remember embarrassing/controversial details. The pharmaceutical agency sends people after her but of course she isn’t believed and is perceived by her family, friends etc as paranoid and unwell.
  


Logged
Private Message Reply: 2 - 3
RShwab
Posted: June 15th, 2022, 5:08pm Report to Moderator
New


Posts
16
Posts Per Day
0.01
I am taking liberties with your notion to come up with my own version, too obviously inspired by contemporary controversies, and I apologize already.

Genre: Horror
Logline: Impressionable teenagers strtessed by social media and environmental doomsdayers are convinced by scientist role models that they can discover and affirm their true humanity by removing a part of their brain and transitioning to a tranquil noble savage identity, only to discover as adults that the change is irrreversible, wreaking havoc with their lives and community. They must stop the mad scientists from creating more Neanderthals while hoping for some way to salvage their lives.
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 3 - 3
 Pages: 1
Recommend Print

Locked Board Board Index    Review My Logline  [ previous | next ] Switch to:
Was Portal Recent Posts Home Help Calendar Search Register Login

Forum Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post polls
You may not post attachments
HTML is on
Blah Code is on
Smilies are on
Powered by E-Blah Platinum 9.71B © 2001-2006