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Pet-Cam logline help (currently 754 views) |
Grandma Bear |
Posted: January 22nd, 2023, 11:53am |
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Administrator
LocationThe Swamp... Posts7962 Posts Per Day 1.35 |
After a few years of not doing much writing I have one fished first draft. I wrote it in hopes that it would be something Dena and I could film, but if someone offers me any $$ for it, I'll gladly go with that too. It's a horror feature with one location, pretty much, and only a handfull of characters. I suck at loglines, so any suggestions would be very much welcomed. This is what I have so far. A young horror buff couple buys an old abandoned murder house with the intent to rent it out as a haunted bed and breakfast. However, when their cat's pet-cam records strange and scary things inside the house, they suspect real sinister things are afoot that may threaten their lives. |
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Zombie Sean |
Posted: January 22nd, 2023, 3:16pm |
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Old Timer
LocationColorado Posts1547 Posts Per Day 0.23 |
A young, horror-obsessed couple convert an abandoned murder house into a supposedly haunted bed and breakfast, but find that something sinister resides within when their cat's pet-cam begins to capture strange happenings.
Kinda long, imo, but worth a stab.
Stay spooked!
Sean |
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Reply: 1 - 21 |
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Grandma Bear |
Posted: January 22nd, 2023, 7:11pm |
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Administrator
LocationThe Swamp... Posts7962 Posts Per Day 1.35 |
Excellent! It's improving by leaps and bounds already! That's why I love this place. Our members are the best. Did I mention I have a cool poster to go with it too? |
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Reply: 2 - 21 |
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steven8 |
Posted: January 23rd, 2023, 1:03am |
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Old Timer The Ed Wood of Simply Scripts
LocationBarberton, OH Posts1156 Posts Per Day 0.22 |
Also too long, but I'm still looking at it.
When a young couple, infatuated with fictional horror, attempt to live out their fantasy by renovating an old murder house for B&B weekends-of-dread, their dream quickly turns into a nightmare when their cat's Pet-Cam captures real supernatural occurrences.
A poster is always a good thing!
Another take: Fictional horror becomes real life terror when a cat's Pet-Cam reveals supernatural entities in a murder house turned B&B by a young couple preoccupied with dark thoughts.
Take 3 and I'm off to bed: Fictional horror becomes real life terror when a Pet-Cam reveals actual supernatural entities in a murder house turned B&B by a young couple obsessed with the world of Stephen King. |
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Revision History (3 edits; 1 reasons shown) |
steven8 - January 23rd, 2023, 2:14am | | |
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Reply: 3 - 21 |
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eldave1 |
Posted: January 23rd, 2023, 12:13pm |
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January Project Group
LocationSouthern California Posts6874 Posts Per Day 1.93 |
I like all the suggestions offered above. I'll add one more to the mix:
After a young couple installs a pet cam, they discover their lives are at risk from a sinister force haunting their horror-themed bed and breakfast. |
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Reply: 4 - 21 |
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kcranford |
Posted: January 23rd, 2023, 1:07pm |
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New Features: Christmas Joe
Posts372 Posts Per Day 0.62 |
I like all the suggestions offered above. I'll add one more to the mix:
After a young couple installs a pet cam, they discover their lives are at risk from a sinister force haunting their horror-themed bed and breakfast. |
Dave, you remain the "logline guru". That one is awesome! |
| Scripts Available: Christmas Joe (Holiday Drama) Every Time It Snows (Holiday Drama) Happy Holi-DNA (Holiday Romance) Let That Pony Run (Family Drama) With Love, From Romance (Holiday Romance) Essex (Historical Drama)
Shorts: Santuario (OWC Writers' Choice) Death (OWC) Savior (OWC) |
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eldave1 |
Posted: January 23rd, 2023, 1:28pm |
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January Project Group
LocationSouthern California Posts6874 Posts Per Day 1.93 |
Dave, you remain the "logline guru". That one is awesome!
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Thanks! |
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Zombie Sean |
Posted: January 23rd, 2023, 3:22pm |
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Old Timer
LocationColorado Posts1547 Posts Per Day 0.23 |
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Reply: 7 - 21 |
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steven8 |
Posted: January 24th, 2023, 2:27am |
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Old Timer The Ed Wood of Simply Scripts
LocationBarberton, OH Posts1156 Posts Per Day 0.22 |
Dave's is better distilled, but I have one last entry:
When a young couple's pet-cam reveals an evil entity haunting their horror-themed bed and breakfast, their dream venture becomes their worst nightmare. |
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Reply: 8 - 21 |
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Grandma Bear |
Posted: January 24th, 2023, 7:31am |
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Administrator
LocationThe Swamp... Posts7962 Posts Per Day 1.35 |
You guys are the best! I like a lot of your suggestions. Going to see if I can combine them somehow. I should mention that the house is not haunted. There's actually a real killer in the house. |
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Reply: 9 - 21 |
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eldave1 |
Posted: January 24th, 2023, 2:13pm |
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January Project Group
LocationSouthern California Posts6874 Posts Per Day 1.93 |
You guys are the best! I like a lot of your suggestions. Going to see if I can combine them somehow. I should mention that the house is not haunted. There's actually a real killer in the house. |
One last stab After a young couple installs a pet cam, they discover their lives are at risk from a real killer stalking them in their haunted house-themed bed and breakfast. |
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Reply: 10 - 21 |
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Reef Dreamer |
Posted: January 24th, 2023, 3:41pm |
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Old Timer Part time writer
LocationThe Island of Jersey Posts2612 Posts Per Day 0.56 |
Hiya
haven't popped in for a long while but couldn't resist a longline challenge - and thats despite being really, really awful a them. Proved, I may say, in multiple competitions.
Anyway here's a throw of the dice, for the LOLs...
short
"Proud of their new horror themed b&b, a young couple's comfortable future is quickly threatened by unexplained images on a pet cam".
longer
"Proud of their new horror themed b&b, a young couple's comfortable future is quickly threatened by unexplained images on a pet cam dating back to a previous murder"
hey ho, have fun with them all, and well done for writing.
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| My scripts HERE
The Elevator Most Belonging To Alice - Semi Final Bluecat, Runner Up Nashville Inner Journey - Page Awards Finalist - Bluecat semi final Grieving Spell - winner - London Film Awards. Third - Honolulu Ultimate Weapon - Fresh Voices - second place IMDb link... http://www.imdb.com/name/nm7062725/?ref_=tt_ov_wr |
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Reply: 11 - 21 |
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steven8 |
Posted: January 24th, 2023, 7:09pm |
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Old Timer The Ed Wood of Simply Scripts
LocationBarberton, OH Posts1156 Posts Per Day 0.22 |
When a young couple's pet-cam reveals a dark intruder in their horror-themed bed and breakfast, their dream venture becomes their worst nightmare. |
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Reply: 12 - 21 |
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kcranford |
Posted: January 24th, 2023, 8:30pm |
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New Features: Christmas Joe
Posts372 Posts Per Day 0.62 |
When a young couple's pet-cam reveals a dark intruder in their horror-themed bed and breakfast, their dream venture becomes their worst nightmare. |
Oh wow! I like this one too. Lots of creative ideas on this theme. |
| Scripts Available: Christmas Joe (Holiday Drama) Every Time It Snows (Holiday Drama) Happy Holi-DNA (Holiday Romance) Let That Pony Run (Family Drama) With Love, From Romance (Holiday Romance) Essex (Historical Drama)
Shorts: Santuario (OWC Writers' Choice) Death (OWC) Savior (OWC) |
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Reply: 13 - 21 |
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eldave1 |
Posted: January 24th, 2023, 8:50pm |
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January Project Group
LocationSouthern California Posts6874 Posts Per Day 1.93 |
I like Reef's and Steve's suggestions as well. |
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Reply: 14 - 21 |
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