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 The Followers Logline (currently 549 views) |
| SAC |
| Posted: February 7th, 2023, 7:53am |
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Of The Ancients  … but some dreams do
LocationUpstate NY Posts3208 Posts Per Day 0.78 |
Hi al!
So Mark Moore, Mike Kospiah and myself finished a script and looking for a little feedback on the logline. Basically this…
A married man, 14 yo son and baby on the way, takes a job in a small town as new Sheriff. Kinda thinks it’ll be quiet and he could live out his life peacefully. However, he’s also dealing with an infidelity and a controversial shooting of a young child back in the city years ago.
First day on the job in this quiet town is a murder. Or a suicide. They’re not sure. As things go on, our sheriff discovers an underground satanic abortion ring run by a devilish woman that could tear his family apart.
I have a few we’re working on, but would love to hear some opinions. Thanks!
Steve |
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| SAC |
| Posted: February 7th, 2023, 11:23am |
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Of The Ancients … but some dreams do
LocationUpstate NY Posts3208 Posts Per Day 0.78 |
After taking a cake job as a small town Sheriff, he finds himself caught in the middle of his sketchy past and the discovery of an underground Satanic abortion ring. |
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Reply: 1 - 16 |
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| LC |
| Posted: February 7th, 2023, 3:59pm |
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Administrator
LocationThe Great Southern Land Posts7630 Posts Per Day 1.34 |
Congrats to you three!
A collaboration of two is hard enough.
Steve, there appears to be a lot of ideas here but this seems to be the key plot - underground satanic abortion ring run by a devilish woman that could tear his family apart.
Murder/suicide connected to it? But also a shooting of a child in the city years ago? But we're now in a small town, right?
Dealing with the fallout of his wife's infidelity (presumably) leads me to guess she might be pregnant (to the other guy) and unwittingly be prey to the abortion ring?
This sounds like something I'd enjoy reading/watching but I'm trying to put all the strands together for a Logline.
If Michael's involved I'm guessing this is very dark.
P.S. 'Cake job'
Lots of slang meanings when I looked this up. Does it just mean a cruisy job?
P.S. Is this a Thriller or Horror? |
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Reply: 2 - 16 |
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| irish eyes |
| Posted: February 7th, 2023, 4:57pm |
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January Project Group  There`s too much blood in my alcohol
LocationUpstate New York Posts1865 Posts Per Day 0.36 |
Congrats to you three!
A collaboration of two is hard enough.
Steve, there appears to be a lot of ideas here but this seems to be the key plot - underground satanic abortion ring run by a devilish woman that could tear his family apart.
Murder/suicide connected to it? But also a shooting of a child in the city years ago? But we're now in a small town, right?
Dealing with the fallout of his wife's infidelity (presumably) leads me to guess she might be pregnant (to the other guy) and unwittingly be prey to the abortion ring?
This sounds like something I'd enjoy reading/watching but I'm trying to put all the strands together for a Logline.
If Michael's involved I'm guessing this is very dark.
P.S. 'Cake job'
Lots of slang meanings when I looked this up. Does it just mean a cruisy job?
P.S. Is this a Thriller or Horror? |
Hi Libby This is a script 10 years in the making  I wrote it initially, but it could have been better. I brought Steve on(for the talented writer that he is), and we battled back and forth over ideas for the next 4 years We could never get a good ending, so we finally suggested bringing Mike on board to help with the end... Which he did  It then lay around for another year until I decided to pick it up again last weekend and re-edit. So there you have it I uploaded it last night to SS. It is a Thriller/Horror, and yes, it is very dark. |
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Reply: 3 - 16 |
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| steven8 |
| Posted: February 7th, 2023, 5:46pm |
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Old Timer  The Ed Wood of Simply Scripts
LocationBarberton, OH Posts1156 Posts Per Day 0.22 |
When a family man attempts to escape the horrors of city life by taking the position of sheriff in a small, quiet town, he soon finds the idyllic facade is merely covering an underbelly so dark it threatens to tear all he holds dear to pieces. |
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Reply: 4 - 16 |
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| eldave1 |
| Posted: February 7th, 2023, 6:24pm |
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January Project Group 
LocationSouthern California Posts6874 Posts Per Day 1.93 |
When a family man attempts to escape the horrors of city life by taking the position of sheriff in a small, quiet town, he soon finds the idyllic facade is merely covering an underbelly so dark it threatens to tear all he holds dear to pieces. |
Bingo for me! |
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Reply: 5 - 16 |
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| CoastalMainer |
| Posted: February 7th, 2023, 6:43pm |
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New 
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The new Sheriff in town, hoping for a better life for his family, find that life isn't always better on the other side of the fence. His past isn't letting go, and their future proves a satanic cult that is far too interested in his wife's pregnancy. |
| Picking up hookers
instead of my pen
I let the words of my youth
fade away.
"My Heroes Have Always Been Cowboys," Sharon Vaughn |
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Reply: 6 - 16 |
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| steven8 |
| Posted: February 7th, 2023, 7:42pm |
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Old Timer The Ed Wood of Simply Scripts
LocationBarberton, OH Posts1156 Posts Per Day 0.22 |
Thanks, Dave!  |
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Reply: 7 - 16 |
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| SAC |
| Posted: February 7th, 2023, 7:52pm |
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Of The Ancients … but some dreams do
LocationUpstate NY Posts3208 Posts Per Day 0.78 |
When a family man attempts to escape the horrors of city life by taking the position of sheriff in a small, quiet town, he soon finds the idyllic facade is merely covering an underbelly so dark it threatens to tear all he holds dear to pieces. |
Yup. That is a good one. Thanks Steve |
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Reply: 8 - 16 |
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| Grandma Bear |
| Posted: February 7th, 2023, 7:53pm |
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Administrator
LocationThe Swamp... Posts7962 Posts Per Day 1.35 |
I suck at loglines, but just wanted to say congrats on finishing a script together!!! Best of luck with it. |
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Reply: 9 - 16 |
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| SAC |
| Posted: February 7th, 2023, 7:54pm |
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Of The Ancients … but some dreams do
LocationUpstate NY Posts3208 Posts Per Day 0.78 |
Congrats to you three!
A collaboration of two is hard enough.
Steve, there appears to be a lot of ideas here but this seems to be the key plot - underground satanic abortion ring run by a devilish woman that could tear his family apart.
Murder/suicide connected to it? But also a shooting of a child in the city years ago? But we're now in a small town, right?
Dealing with the fallout of his wife's infidelity (presumably) leads me to guess she might be pregnant (to the other guy) and unwittingly be prey to the abortion ring?
This sounds like something I'd enjoy reading/watching but I'm trying to put all the strands together for a Logline.
If Michael's involved I'm guessing this is very dark.
P.S. 'Cake job'
Lots of slang meanings when I looked this up. Does it just mean a cruisy job?
P.S. Is this a Thriller or Horror? |
You’re pretty much spot on, Libby, save for the infidelity. It was the husband who cheated, and yea, his wife’s unborn child will be a target. |
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| Revision History (1 edits) |
| SAC - February 7th, 2023, 8:44pm | | |
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Reply: 10 - 16 |
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| steven8 |
| Posted: February 7th, 2023, 8:10pm |
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Old Timer The Ed Wood of Simply Scripts
LocationBarberton, OH Posts1156 Posts Per Day 0.22 |
Yup. That is a good one. Thanks Steve
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You're welcome! |
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Reply: 11 - 16 |
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| LC |
| Posted: February 8th, 2023, 5:26pm |
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Administrator
LocationThe Great Southern Land Posts7630 Posts Per Day 1.34 |
Two questions for you:
Is the wife noticeably pregnant when they move to this small town, and was the 'now Sheriff' a city cop in the past? |
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Reply: 12 - 16 |
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| irish eyes |
| Posted: February 8th, 2023, 7:48pm |
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January Project Group There`s too much blood in my alcohol
LocationUpstate New York Posts1865 Posts Per Day 0.36 |
Quoted from libby Two questions for you:
Is the wife noticeably pregnant when they move to this small town, and was the 'now Sheriff' a city cop in the past?
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Yes and yes |
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Reply: 13 - 16 |
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| steven8 |
| Posted: February 8th, 2023, 8:37pm |
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Old Timer The Ed Wood of Simply Scripts
LocationBarberton, OH Posts1156 Posts Per Day 0.22 |
When a big city cop accepts a small town sheriff post to remove his family from the everyday horrors of urban violence, he finds the apple pie promise of a quiet life hides an underbelly so dark it threatens to destroy all he holds dear. |
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Reply: 14 - 16 |
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