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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board  ›  Screenwriting Discussion  ›  Review My Logline  ›  Under The Blood Moon logline Moderators: LC
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  Author    Under The Blood Moon logline  (currently 340 views)
Zack
Posted: August 18th, 2023, 2:45am Report to Moderator
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An outgoing woman and her reserved fiancee stumble on a brutal ritual and must race through the forest from a blood-thirsty ancient fiend!

This is a short script based on my feature The Potem. I'll be producing this short early next summer as a proof-of-concept, then pitch the finished short film to potential investors with plans to produce the feature version the following summer. I've got a long road ahead of me, but I'm both ready and excited to face the challenge! This is what I was born to do.

Will submit the short script soon, as well as an updated draft of the feature.

Any suggestions on the logline for this short are much appreciated!

Revision History (1 edits)
Zack  -  August 18th, 2023, 2:56am
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steven8
Posted: August 18th, 2023, 3:14am Report to Moderator
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When a newly-engaged couple stumble on a terrifying blood-ritual deep in the forest, they're forced to flee for their lives from an ancient, blood-thirsty fiend!


...in no particular order
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Zack
Posted: August 18th, 2023, 3:16am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from steven8
When a newly-engaged couple stumble on a terrifying blood-ritual deep in the forest, they're forced to flee for their lives from an ancient, blood-thirty fiend!


Nice! I like it. Definitely an improvement. Thanks, Steven.
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steven8
Posted: August 18th, 2023, 3:22am Report to Moderator
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The Ed Wood of Simply Scripts

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Quoted from Zack


Nice! I liked it. Definitely an improvement. Thanks, Steven.


You're quite welcome.


...in no particular order
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Matthew Taylor
Posted: August 18th, 2023, 4:36am Report to Moderator
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That sounds far too scary and thrilling to be honest Zack. Maybe tone it down for the Disney crowd, here I will help...

A lovely woman and her devoted fiancee stumble on a gentle ritual and must move briskly (but safely) through the forest from a slightly miffed ancient sprite!



Sounds awesome Zack, looking forward to reading it!


Feature

42.2

Two steps to writing a good screenplay:
1) Write a bad one
2) Fix it
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kcranford
Posted: August 18th, 2023, 11:11am Report to Moderator
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Features:  Christmas Joe

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Throwing in my two cents:

When an unsuspecting couple stumble upon a terrifying blood ritual deep in the forest, an ancient malevolent presence forces them to flee for their life.





Scripts Available:
Christmas Joe (Holiday Drama)
Every Time It Snows (Holiday Drama)
Happy Holi-DNA (Holiday Romance)
Let That Pony Run (Family Drama)
With Love, From Romance (Holiday Romance)
Essex (Historical Drama)

Shorts:
Santuario (OWC Writers' Choice)
Death  (OWC)
Savior  (OWC)
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Zack
Posted: August 18th, 2023, 8:33pm Report to Moderator
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All great suggestions! Thanks, everyone!

Can't wait to share the script with you. Will throw it up here just as soon as the submissions have opened back up.
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Zack
Posted: August 22nd, 2023, 12:59am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Matthew Taylor


A lovely woman and her devoted fiancee stumble on a gentle ritual and must move briskly (but safely) through the forest from a slightly miffed ancient sprite!


LMAO!

Somehow I missed your comment, Matt. Sorry about that! The script is up now.
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