Hey Paul, read through the draft you sent me. Here are my notes.
Page 2. - Unpacked boxes dot the sparsely furnished room. - Seems odd to me that they'd be throwing a party before being fully unpacked. Could just be me.
Agree that you should do away with the Ouiji board if you decide to expand this to feature length. It works for this short, but Ouiji boards are a bit played out.
So I'm a bit confused on the ending... Hannah stops the ghost from renacting their massacre, and this somehow means that Nancy actually survived? Is it a time loop thing? Because I was under the imression that Perry, Dick, Nancy, Kenyon, and Herb were all ghosts. So did Nancy never actually die?
Another small issue I have is... Why the Hell doesn't Hannah just run away? I think I'd be a lot more freaked out in this situation.
Besides those nit-picks, I actually really like this one. Very imaginitive and pretty gruesome.You've created such an interesting mythology with this, and I want to know more about the backstory. I definitely think you should adapt this into a feature. I'd be curious to see how a feature length version would play out.
Great work here, Paul.