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The primary purpose of the SimplyScripts Discussion Board is the discussion of unproduced screenplays. If you are a producer or director lookng for your next project, the works here are available for option, purchase or production only if you receive permission from the author.
NOTE: these screenplays are NOT in the public domain and MAY NOT be used or reproduced for any purpose (including eductional purposes) without the expressedwrittenpermission of the author.
Hey Paul, read through the draft you sent me. Here are my notes.
Page 2. - Unpacked boxes dot the sparsely furnished room. - Seems odd to me that they'd be throwing a party before being fully unpacked. Could just be me.
Agree that you should do away with the Ouiji board if you decide to expand this to feature length. It works for this short, but Ouiji boards are a bit played out.
So I'm a bit confused on the ending... Hannah stops the ghost from renacting their massacre, and this somehow means that Nancy actually survived? Is it a time loop thing? Because I was under the imression that Perry, Dick, Nancy, Kenyon, and Herb were all ghosts. So did Nancy never actually die?
Another small issue I have is... Why the Hell doesn't Hannah just run away? I think I'd be a lot more freaked out in this situation.
Besides those nit-picks, I actually really like this one. Very imaginitive and pretty gruesome.You've created such an interesting mythology with this, and I want to know more about the backstory. I definitely think you should adapt this into a feature. I'd be curious to see how a feature length version would play out.
Great work here, Paul.
I'm not interested in coming up with a crazy twist or anything like that. I like my stories Simple. Straightforward. A to B. No C.
Ashes - Semi-contained psychological horror thriller/Feature The Hand of God - Low budget, semi-contained thriller/Feature Wait Till Next Year - Disney-style family sports comedy/Feature
Many shorts available for production: comedy, thriller, drama, light horror