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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Screenwriting Discussion    Screenwriting Class  ›  To write.. or not to write.. is the question? Moderators: George Willson
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  Author    To write.. or not to write.. is the question?  (currently 1237 views)
BarryJohn
Posted: June 26th, 2020, 1:16am Report to Moderator
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Hi ALL

A while back I wrote a real good script (91 Page Feature). And with it a well written / presented query letter that I sent out to 204 managers/agents/producers.. NOT ONE REPLY! not even; Ye, thanks but it sucks!

NOW.. I have an amazing idea / script in mind, that should I decide to write it? Will take tremendous research on its topic. The write alone will take me about three months!

All that time and work just to be ignored again by the 204+! Now that sounds like a real waste of time for another 100 pager collecting dust on my desk.

My question is: Can I put my story idea down on paper in say a three act synopsis and option that, in the hope of been contacted to pay-write the script?  

Regards,
MR DESPONDENT  



Who am I? A man with a hundred stories... you want to read one?
Analyst, mentor, competition reader/judge, film critic, magazine article/blogger.  
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LC
Posted: June 26th, 2020, 9:07am Report to Moderator
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BarryJohn, I think this is more a Scriptwriting Class question, not an actual WIP thread but I'll leave it here for now cause I have to be quick. After the witching hour here.

See the Sticky thread at the top? This is specifically to post your WIP and get feedback on it.

The question I want to ask you is did you post your feature to SS for exposure?
A lot of places won't look at unsolicited scripts from unproven Spec writers.

It's unlikely I think that you'd get an idea/synopsis optioned.
Having said that, I think this is the type of thing Imagine Impact ask for in their requests for submissions, plus a pitch - not the actual script in the first instance. There are other Pitch fests/comps I do believe too.

It's up to you whether you want to devote time to your next project - three months doesn't seem like a long time to me, compared to the length of time (including research) some people put in.

Most of us write because we have to. It's just something we need to do.

Got to be prepared for the ups and downs in this business.
Get your work exposure is my advice. But first get feedback from fellow writers before sending it out.


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Pleb
Posted: June 26th, 2020, 10:36am Report to Moderator
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Don’t write it.

You’ll almost certainly end up disappointed so unless you’re fine with that, then don’t bother.


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Pleb
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Just to clarify, even if you’re an incredible writer with a great script, the odds are still stacked against you.

So if you don’t get comfortable with it never seeing the light of day then it’s probably not a good idea.

If that’s the case, write shorts. Little investment with a higher probability of getting made. Plus you get to work on the craft.



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Pleb  -  June 27th, 2020, 5:34am
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eldave1
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Quoted Text
A while back I wrote a real good script (91 Page Feature). And with it a well written / presented query letter that I sent out to 204 managers/agents/producers.. NOT ONE REPLY! not even; Ye, thanks but it sucks!


1, How do you know it was a really good script? What barometer did you use? For example, did you get coverage on it? Did it win a contest? Was it something posted here that got rave reviews? Something posted elsewhere?

I'm not trying to be snarky, but the premise of your question really relies on the quality of the product. i.e., you wouldn't be asking it if it was an average or poor script. So to me, step one is what did you do to ascertain that you wrote a very good script.

AND - if you did write a very good script --

2. Are you sure that you wrote a very good query letter (an art form by itself). People, including me, really struggle with that. AND - if you did do 1 and 2 right --

3. Did you send it to the right companies? i.e., Companies that a) specialize in the type of materail you created and b) accept query letters. For example, if you sent out 200 query letters and 180 of those companies do not accept unsolicited submissions, what you  really did was send out 20 Query letters.


Quoted Text
NOW.. I have an amazing idea / script in mind, that should I decide to write it? Will take tremendous research on its topic. The write alone will take me about three months!


Really only you can answer that question.


Quoted Text
My question is: Can I put my story idea down on paper in say a three act synopsis and option that, in the hope of been contacted to pay-write the script?  


IMO, the answer is no. There are a billion, fully completed unsold scripts for these folks to pick from. There is little chance that they are going to option a summary when they have tons of completed works to pick through.

There are a ton of talented writers on this site alone with tons of great scripts that have never gotten a whiff from an agent or manager.  And that is just the amateurs - pile on the pros on top of that and to think somehow a story summary is going to beat all that out is just magical thinking.

I've written 11 features and 25 shorts. I've made meager money on three of them (outright sale of two shorts and an expired option on a feature). I can't speak for the others, but I only wrote because at the end of the day I needed to sell something, I would have had to quit writing a long time ago. Most of us to if for the love of the hobby and the sale is just sweetner.  So, long winded way of saying if you are into script writing to make money - you should probably stop and look towards something else.


My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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BarryJohn
Posted: June 27th, 2020, 4:48am Report to Moderator
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LC

Sorry for posting this in the wrong thread.

Yes, I did post my script (The Book of Joseph) here about a year ago. And with the comments/advice I "tweaked" rewrote the script (never did repost it here). Only then did I start sending out its query letter.

Sure, SS is a great place to get feedback. As are all similar forums.. Family, friends, etc... With that and competitions where else does one get exposure? I guess by been "sited" on a forum?

MAX
Thanks for been blunt.. and the dark of the day. Lol.

ELDAVE1
1. Whether the script was good or bad? No one inquired to read it via no response from my query letter. So I guess its 1 or 2 below.

2. Did I write a very good query letter? As they say.. "The best script in the world is nothing without an even BETTER query letter". Unfortunately I cant copy/paste the PDF letter here for review. (May I PM it to you for a review, please?)

3. I'm not to sure if I did send my query letter to all the right companies.. I sent it to all of whom I could get contact details on. So, your 180/20 maths may well be correct. Apart from, I've also sent letters "seeking representation"  out to about 30 script managers - No replies. So my work remains UNSOLICITED.

At my age I'm nearing past sale date on my employment equity, and writing for bread and butter will soon be.

I know its tuff out there.. for ALL of us. Its just so frustrating.

To you ALL above, thank you very much for your input and comment (advise) hereto.

Maybe just one day.. in one year.. before I die in front of my keypad. Till then; Keep writing... keep writing...    


Who am I? A man with a hundred stories... you want to read one?
Analyst, mentor, competition reader/judge, film critic, magazine article/blogger.  
https://simpsonliteraryagency.com/script-analyst
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ajr
Posted: June 27th, 2020, 8:47am Report to Moderator
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Hey Barry,

Please take this for what it's worth... I've never gotten anything filmed, other than the PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE version of one of my shorts (the director was very green), however I've had a series of near misses on a $5MM project that has made the rounds and still has some advocates in Hollywood... so I know of the disappointment, and I've made every mistake under the sun while trying to get a project financed...

My advice is to write small. If you're writing epics with a lot of FX and set decoration, it's a complete waste of time. Plots are not copyright-able. Only the execution of that plot is. In other words, you can write a story about Orgo the Demon who is somehow trapped into saving humanity... and a company can read your script and then hire a professional to come and write Ergo the Demon, and change the plot ever so slightly, and change the characters and dialogue, so that it's essentially your idea, but doesn't resemble your script.

Write about people. Characters and dialogue can't be stolen. Write some great characters who say great lines. That's something that someone has to buy. They can't take the easy route to it. Your plot may be as simple as boy meets girl, but if your execution is unique, then you have something that someone else will want.

If you're lucky enough to think of something high concept that no one has ever done before? Well, then that's the golden ticket. Intricate plot, great characters, great dialogue. For example - SPEED. Madman rigs a bus so that if it goes under 50 mph, it explodes. If you can write a lower budget version of that, then you have something that others would want.

There's a script posted here in the comedy section called DOUBLES. It's by a new writer. And the format is off in places, and it's overwritten in a lot of spots - but it's got a great plot. A buddy comedy about mismatched former rivals forced to play doubles tennis. And the characters are well-drawn, and there are some great lines in it, and some laugh out loud moments. Write THAT. I sincerely hope that writer succeeds in getting the script into proper format because I think it could really be a success. Now it trends toward mid-to-high budget range, however the idea is so unique and the dialogue is so good, that I think it has a chance.

And? Write when you have something to SAY. Don't write because you have an idea. That's the worst reason to write. Everyone has ideas. Again, it's the execution of that idea that is key. find out what you BELIEVE - what makes you tick? What do you want to say to everyone? Why should they CARE about what you have to say? These are questions you have to ask. If you an tap into a universal theme in a unique way, and then write unique characters and dialogue, and maybe make people THINK while also entertaining them? That's a reason to write.

IMHO...

AJR


Click HERE to read JOHN LENNON'S HEAVEN https://preview.tinyurl.com/John-Lennon-s-Heaven-110-pgs/

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ajr  -  June 27th, 2020, 10:16am
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eldave1
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Barry:


Quoted Text
1. Whether the script was good or bad? No one inquired to read it via no response from my query letter. So I guess its 1 or 2 below.


I certainly can appreciate the difficulty in self-assessment. But you need to see how it changes the problem statement. Your problem statement was:

[i]A while back I wrote a real good script (91 Page Feature). And with it a well written / presented query letter
[/i]

What if instead, it was:

A while back I wrote an average script and a so-so query letter.  

See how changing that changes what your next steps should be? The answers to your questions on what to do next would be to do things that improve your writing (e.g., take classes, read XX scripts, write XX shorts on concepts that you think could be features, enter XX contests, purchase coverage or feedback for a script, etc. etc.  i.e, all the questions related to "to write or not to write" would focus on how to enhance the writing rather than on how to sell the script.


Quoted Text
2. Did I write a very good query letter? As they say.. "The best script in the world is nothing without an even BETTER query letter". Unfortunately, I cant copy/paste the PDF letter here for review. (May I PM it to you for a review, please?)


Not sure why you can't paste it - but sure, you can PM and I'll look at. Warning - I'm not a Query Letter expert. This is pretty much my level of acumen - it's an example of my standard query letter.


Quoted Text
My name is David Lambertson.  I would like to submit my feature-length script to you for your consideration. This script won the Silver Award in the 2017 PAGE International Screenwriting Contest.

Title: The Beginning of The End and The End.
Genre: Romantic-Comedy

Logline: A battle of wits ensues when a jaded, arrogant divorce lawyer moves into an office adjacent to a strong-willed marriage counselor. Ironically, a building fire that interrupts their battles sparks a relationship.

Comps to other Films.

A more condensed version of When Harry Met Sally. It has the witty dialogue of that film along with the physical comedy of Bridesmaid.

Production Considerations

The film should be able to be produced on a very modest budget.  It is based in Los Angeles and most of the film takes place in a single location. No special effects.

Target Audience.

A romantic-comedy for adults. Suitable for either the big screen or small screen.

A brief synopsis of the story is attached. I would like to send the script to you for your consideration. I can be reached at:

MY CONTACT INFO  

Thank you in advance for your consideration.



Quoted Text
3. I'm not to sure if I did send my query letter to all the right companies.. I sent it to all of whom I could get contact details on. So, your 180/20 maths may well be correct. Apart from, I've also sent letters "seeking representation"  out to about 30 script managers - No replies. So my work remains UNSOLICITED.


You are wasting your time to some extent. There is little reason to send letters to large companies that are not seeking submissions. This is true for production companies, managers and agents.


Quoted Text
At my age I'm nearing past sale date on my employment equity, and writing for bread and butter will soon be.


I hear you. I'm 63, Didn't start writing until I was 55. So - I pretty much write because I enjoy writing.



My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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eldave1
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Quoted from ajr
Hey Barry,

Please take this for what it's worth... I've never gotten anything filmed, other than the PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE version of one of my shorts (the director was very green), however I've had a series of near misses on a $5MM project that has made the rounds and still has some advocates in Hollywood... so I know of the disappointment, and I've made every mistake under the sun while trying to get a project financed...

My advice is to write small. If you're writing epics with a lot of FX and set decoration, it's a complete waste of time. Plots are not copyright-able. Only the execution of that plot is. In other words, you can write a story about Orgo the Demon who is somehow trapped into saving humanity... and a company can read your script and then hire a professional to come and write Ergo the Demon, and change the plot ever so slightly, and change the characters and dialogue, so that it's essentially your idea, but doesn't resemble your script.

Write about people. Characters and dialogue can't be stolen. Write some great characters who say great lines. That's something that someone has to buy. They can't take the easy route to it. Your plot may be as simple as boy meets girl, but if your execution is unique, then you have something that someone else will want.

If you're lucky enough to think of something high concept that no one has ever done before? Well, then that's the golden ticket. Intricate plot, great characters, great dialogue. For example - SPEED. Madman rigs a bus so that if it goes under 50 mph, it explodes. If you can write a lower budget version of that, then you have something that others would want.

There's a script posted here in the comedy section called DOUBLES. It's by a new writer. And the format is off in places, and it's overwritten in a lot of spots - but it's got a great plot. A buddy comedy about mismatched former rivals forced to play doubles tennis. And the characters are well-drawn, and there are some great lines in it, and some laugh out loud moments. Write THAT. I sincerely hope that writer succeeds in getting the script into proper format because I think it could really be a success. Now it trends toward mid-to-high budget range, however the idea is so unique and the dialogue is so good, that I think it has a chance.

And? Write when you have something to SAY. Don't write because you have an idea. That's the worst reason to write. Everyone has ideas. Again, it's the execution of that idea that is key. find out what you BELIEVE - what makes you tick? What do you want to say to everyone? Why should they CARE about what you have to say? These are questions you have to ask. If you an tap into a universal theme in a unique way, and then write unique characters and dialogue, and maybe make people THINK while also entertaining them? That's a reason to write.

IMHO...

AJR


Excellent advice,


My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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Lon
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Quoted from BarryJohn
...I have an amazing idea / script in mind, that should I decide to write it? Will take tremendous research on its topic. The write alone will take me about three months!


Brass tacks: If you feel the need to ask yourself if it's worth the effort, chances are you already know that it's not. You can crap out a hundred potentially amazing ideas a day, but if you're not passionate about developing them and turning them into a full story, then they're worthless. So rather than waste time on a story you're not 100% invested in telling, put it aside and write something you are passionate about instead.

Good luck.
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Grandma Bear
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The people I know that have been the most successful here at SS, having features made and getting paid real money not peanuts, have actually all been "foreigners". They have all worked VERY hard on the craft. We're talking years and years. I think where writers get into their head somehow that Hollywood is the only game in town. But, if you really want to make money at writing, use your specialness and don't be afraid to look outside of Hollywood. One writer friend of mine lives in the US, but is from Syria. He is not just a muslim, but he knows the culture and languages of many muslim countries. He discovered early on that Hollywood had zero interest in his scripts about muslims, but he still wrote from his own life experience and what he knows best. He posted several of his scripts at SS and has sold at least two getting 25K for each. Who bought the scripts? Film producers in UAE. What I'm trying to say is, maybe not focus on H-wood and instead open your eyes to other possibilities. I think you said you are in S. Africa, can you write scripts about stuff you would know specifically that others without your experience would not be able to write? What can you bring to the table that others can't? Forget H-wood. Too many writers are already competing for crumbs on that pie.

PS: I've had two shorts made in S. Africa.  


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ajr
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Quoted from Grandma Bear
The people I know that have been the most successful here at SS, having features made and getting paid real money not peanuts, have actually all been "foreigners". They have all worked VERY hard on the craft. We're talking years and years. I think where writers get into their head somehow that Hollywood is the only game in town. But, if you really want to make money at writing, use your specialness and don't be afraid to look outside of Hollywood. One writer friend of mine lives in the US, but is from Syria. He is not just a muslim, but he knows the culture and languages of many muslim countries. He discovered early on that Hollywood had zero interest in his scripts about muslims, but he still wrote from his own life experience and what he knows best. He posted several of his scripts at SS and has sold at least two getting 25K for each. Who bought the scripts? Film producers in UAE. What I'm trying to say is, maybe not focus on H-wood and instead open your eyes to other possibilities. I think you said you are in S. Africa, can you write scripts about stuff you would know specifically that others without your experience would not be able to write? What can you bring to the table that others can't? Forget H-wood. Too many writers are already competing for crumbs on that pie.

PS: I've had two shorts made in S. Africa.  


More excellent advice...


Click HERE to read JOHN LENNON'S HEAVEN https://preview.tinyurl.com/John-Lennon-s-Heaven-110-pgs/
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BarryJohn
Posted: June 28th, 2020, 2:57am Report to Moderator
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More excellent advice... INDEED!

Ajr:
Thanks a Mil for taking the time to give me such valid advise that I will exercise - execute.

Execution of idea... Believe what makes you tick... They must care about what you have to say... UNIQUE.  

Eldave1:
Again thank very much, and I will "tune" my list to make sure I send my query letter to the correct people/companies.

Lon:
Thanks for advice... PASSION writing.

Grandma Bear:
Thanks a ton for the good advise... Look and write IN the box you live in.
Say, what's the names of those two shorts you had made in South Africa?

* Thanks again to you all for your valid comments/advice hereto.


Who am I? A man with a hundred stories... you want to read one?
Analyst, mentor, competition reader/judge, film critic, magazine article/blogger.  
https://simpsonliteraryagency.com/script-analyst
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BarryJohn
Posted: June 30th, 2020, 7:08am Report to Moderator
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Hi ALL... That replied to my post hereto.

I came across an interesting article I read (Creative Screenwriting) I thought I'd share.

Simon Kinberg, a graduate of Columbia University's film program. He had never written a script in his life... For his thesis, he wrote a TREATMENT based on an idea of his friends marriage therapy she was undergoing.  His manager, at the time, teamed him up with Akiva Goldsman (A beautiful Mind). They (the treatment) was rejected by every studio till SUMMIT ENTERTAINMENT saw it and hired kinberg to turn his treatment into a SCRIPT... Mr & Mrs Smith - which made $50Mil on opening week?  

Inspirational !

  


Who am I? A man with a hundred stories... you want to read one?
Analyst, mentor, competition reader/judge, film critic, magazine article/blogger.  
https://simpsonliteraryagency.com/script-analyst
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eldave1
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Quoted from BarryJohn
Hi ALL... That replied to my post hereto.

I came across an interesting article I read (Creative Screenwriting) I thought I'd share.

Simon Kinberg, a graduate of Columbia University's film program. He had never written a script in his life... For his thesis, he wrote a TREATMENT based on an idea of his friends marriage therapy she was undergoing.  His manager, at the time, teamed him up with Akiva Goldsman (A beautiful Mind). They (the treatment) was rejected by every studio till SUMMIT ENTERTAINMENT saw it and hired kinberg to turn his treatment into a SCRIPT... Mr & Mrs Smith - which made $50Mil on opening week?  

Inspirational !

  


An interesting outlier.


My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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SAC
Posted: June 30th, 2020, 6:19pm Report to Moderator
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Would love to see a sample of the query letter you sent.  That could be part of the problem right there.


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BarryJohn
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Hi Steven.

Yes you may well be right. And thank you for wanting to see my query letter. I'll PM email it to you as I don't see a way I can attached it hereto. Is there a way I can post/attach it here?  I'm not big on computer stuff.


Who am I? A man with a hundred stories... you want to read one?
Analyst, mentor, competition reader/judge, film critic, magazine article/blogger.  
https://simpsonliteraryagency.com/script-analyst
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eldave1
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Quoted from BarryJohn
Hi Steven.

Yes you may well be right. And thank you for wanting to see my query letter. I'll PM email it to you as I don't see a way I can attached it hereto. Is there a way I can post/attach it here?  I'm not big on computer stuff.


Copy and paste.


My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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JohnI
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Would you mind sharing it with me also, Dave. I’d like to compare it to what I’ve been sending.
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eldave1
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Quoted from JohnI
Would you mind sharing it with me also, Dave. I’d like to compare it to what I’ve been sending.


I shared it on page 1 of the thread but will re-post it here:


Quoted Text
Dear (name and title)

My name is David Lambertson.  I would like to submit my feature-length script to you for your consideration. This script won the Silver Award in the 2017 PAGE International Screenwriting Contest.

Title: The Beginning of The End and The End.
Genre: Romantic-Comedy

Logline: A battle of wits ensues when a jaded, arrogant divorce lawyer moves into an office adjacent to a strong-willed marriage counselor. Ironically, a building fire that interrupts their battles sparks a relationship.

Comps to other Films.

A more condensed version of When Harry Met Sally. It has the witty dialogue of that film along with the physical comedy of Bridesmaid.

Production Considerations

The film should be able to be produced on a very modest budget.  It is based in Los Angeles and most of the film takes place in a single location. No special effects.

Target Audience.


A romantic-comedy for adults. Suitable for either the big screen or small screen.

A brief synopsis of the story is attached. I would like to send the script to you for your consideration. I can be reached at:

MY CONTACT INFO  

Thank you in advance for your consideration.


I also have a standard seeking rep letter (i.e., if I am selling me vs. a specific script.


Quoted Text
Dear (Name/Title)

My name is David Lambertson.  I am an amateur screenwriter who has done very well in screenwriting contests. I am looking for representation to help in the journey of achieving commercial success.

I write character-driven stories in all genres. I have completed eleven features, including:

Title: The Beginning of The End and Then End
Genre: Romantic Comedy

Logline: A battle of wits ensues when an arrogant divorce lawyer moves into an office next door to a strong-willed marriage counselor. A building fire ultimately interrupts their battles while at the same time sparking a relationship.

This script won the silver prize for the PAGE 2017 Screenplay competition.

Title: The Last Statesman:
Genre: Dramedy

Logline: An old and cranky local politician goes publicly bananas in an effort to draw attention to an important social issue. This inadvertently puts the career of his son, the Governor of California, at risk.

This script was a 2016 PAGE Finalist as well as a Nicholls’ quarterfinalist.

Title: Dark World
Genre: Thriller

Logline: In order to stop a serial killer, an FBI Agent must convince his colleagues that the murders that only he can see on a virtual reality game are real.

This script made the 2017 SHORES semi-finals.

Title: La Loteria
Genre: Drama

Logline: A missing grand prize lottery ticket is the key to solving a series of murders in a gang-infested Los Angeles neighborhood.

This script made the 2017 PAGE semi-finals.

I would be delighted to meet with you to discuss representation or to send any of my work for your review.  I can be reached at:

MY CONTACT  INFO

Thank you in advance for your consideration.


Hope these help, John. I have no idea if they are good or not since I have only had limited success with them.



My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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Pleb
Posted: July 1st, 2020, 2:42pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from eldave1


Copy and paste.


Haha no words wasted there!


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eldave1
Posted: July 1st, 2020, 3:03pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Pleb


Haha no words wasted there!


Yep - it should be easy.


My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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BarryJohn
Posted: July 2nd, 2020, 3:06am Report to Moderator
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Barry John Terblanche                         Email;  scriptwriter.barryjohn(at)gmail.com



Dear Mr Dow Joe                                    02 July 2020     

Re:     Script writer looking for representation.

About me; I'm a white male, 49 years of age. A passionate writer of four years. This here is my 2nd feature script I've written, apart from a few shorts.

Title:          THE BOOK OF JOSEPH
Genre:      Suspense / drama.

Log line:     The battle for souls.. the rule of earth.. will not be fought by the Gods in heaven or in hell. But, here on earth. Between a Priest and a child.                                     

Synopsis:     

Here on earth we bore witness to thunder's screams in dark clouds that soon bleed red. The skies cleared with tears of heaven and an Angels decent.  

A child is born of an orphan virgin - raised by the nuns - believed to be the daughter of God, she is worshiped by all mankind. All but for one man who knows the truth to who she truly is! A young black Priest of a small remote farming village in Kenya, Africa.

We will persecute him – denounce him – beat him to near death. His faith will be tested to the limits.. his faith, the only weapon against a child so evil the Devil himself fears.

The child is cunning, powerful in deceit and persuasion. She wants your soul.. the numbers are climbing.. the balance is shifting.. time is running out!

A simple young Priest with a soft hart and loving soul will come to realise, that this who he is.. Is his greatest weapon.

A TENSE, POWERFUL and EMOTIONAL story.

If this has piqued your interest, I'd be pleased to send (Email / PDF, 91 page) you a copy of the feature length spec script for your consideration.


Regards,

Barry John Terblanche.  


* Barry, I've taken out personal details. LC


Who am I? A man with a hundred stories... you want to read one?
Analyst, mentor, competition reader/judge, film critic, magazine article/blogger.  
https://simpsonliteraryagency.com/script-analyst

Revision History (1 edits)
LC  -  July 2nd, 2020, 3:36am
Edited personal details.
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BarryJohn
Posted: July 2nd, 2020, 3:16am Report to Moderator
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COPY PASTE!!!  -F*#K me!

...Had to fix up the copy as I use Open Office Suit. It came out alright here though. Thanks Eldave1

So here is my query letter. Please all give comment to it.

Thanks ALL.  


Who am I? A man with a hundred stories... you want to read one?
Analyst, mentor, competition reader/judge, film critic, magazine article/blogger.  
https://simpsonliteraryagency.com/script-analyst
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eldave1
Posted: July 2nd, 2020, 3:52pm Report to Moderator
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Barry: In my opinion, there are many things wrong with the letter.

1. It has typos and grammatical errors. You're dead out of the gate if you send a letter to someone with basic errors in it.  Your very first line as an example - it's Scriptwriter, not Script Writer. Later - heart, not hart. Missing commas in various places, etc. The point being - no Agency is going to take your request seriously if your query letter is riddled with errors.

2. The Logline is confusing.

3. What you label as a synopsis is not really a synopsis - it's really just an expanded logline.

Maybe go with something like:


Quoted Text
Dear Mr. Dow Joe:                                  

My name is Barry John Terblanche, a screenwriter from South Africa seeking representation.  I have written two features and several shorts and believe I would be an ideal fit for your agency.  My latest feature is:

Title:         The Book of Joseph.
Genre:      Suspense / drama.

Logline:   A Priest and a mythical child believed to the daughter of God wage a battle for the souls of all mankind.                                    

This is a tense and emotional story similar to XXXX. A one-page synopsis is attached.  I would like to send you the script for your consideration. I can be reached at:

Regards:

Barry John Terblanche.  


Ideally, if you knew something about the Agency you could comment on why your particular script would be a good fit for them.




My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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ajr
Posted: July 2nd, 2020, 4:24pm Report to Moderator
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Barry,

Have you gotten coverage on the script?

You get one chance to approach someone. You need to do it with your best foot forward. If your script is not eat-off-the-floor clean, you don't want to send it out.

If you get favorable coverage from a service, you can start to pitch THAT to what are called MP (motion picture) coordinators at the various agencies and management companies, and they may agree to cover your script.

From there, you might be able to make it an open directorial assignment, or get an agent to champion it for you, etc.

You can simultaneously take the route of soliciting production companies and financiers. But you need something to pitch beyond just your words in a query.

AJR


Click HERE to read JOHN LENNON'S HEAVEN https://preview.tinyurl.com/John-Lennon-s-Heaven-110-pgs/
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BarryJohn
Posted: July 3rd, 2020, 12:08am Report to Moderator
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Eldave1 and Ajr

Thanks both for your comments and advice hereto that I'll follow through with. Give it a good clean and rewrite.


Who am I? A man with a hundred stories... you want to read one?
Analyst, mentor, competition reader/judge, film critic, magazine article/blogger.  
https://simpsonliteraryagency.com/script-analyst
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eldave1
Posted: July 3rd, 2020, 11:56am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from BarryJohn
Eldave1 and Ajr

Thanks both for your comments and advice hereto that I'll follow through with. Give it a good clean and rewrite.


Cool


My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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Grandma Bear
Posted: July 3rd, 2020, 10:00pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from BarryJohn

Grandma Bear
Say, what's the names of those two shorts you had made in South Africa?

Sorry I missed this. The titles were Daddy's Home and Issues. I have no idea if they are still online. They did a pretty good job though. I've had some other ones made in Africa too. If I remember correctly, they were all in Nigeria. Some went to festivals too.


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Anon
Posted: July 6th, 2020, 4:36pm Report to Moderator
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The answer to your original question is write it, if you want to get better at screenwriting. If you think your second script is the best you can possibly do - you’re wrong. If you carry on you might look back and realise how wrong you were. For most it’s a long path to success. For some, sadly, a long path to nowhere. But if you want to be in the game you have to keep rolling the dice. Your odds will get better as your writing gets better.

Is the script posted on here?
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BarryJohn
Posted: July 7th, 2020, 5:30am Report to Moderator
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Hi Anon

Thanks for commenting. I hear what you say... But, I'm not that guy that looks back - Takes a long path to nowhere - Roll dice. That's for the dreamers, I'm a realist.

The script (story) in question, is written in my head. All 110 pagers... Of which took me one day. To spend three to five months writing it, for it to, I quote: Long path to nowhere = HELL NO! I'll write it once I become a known screenwriter. If I don't become one... then I've not wasted 3-5 months of my time. Least of all another five years writing even more scripts.

For now I'll just keep "exercising" my writing skills via SHORTS.

For now, I'm going to be like that proud father of his first born (My first feature script) - Caress and nurture that child to be the best he/she can be... I'll have no more children as I'd not give them the attention they deserve... as such, they'd failed in life.

In short, it's THE BOOK OF JOSEPH or bust.

I had posted it here a long time ago. If you find it, don't quote / comment on it, as it's come a long way since then - I've rewritten it 6 times till now. I'm busy with it's 7th, LAST POLISH-UP. Then I'll repost it here for comment.






    


Who am I? A man with a hundred stories... you want to read one?
Analyst, mentor, competition reader/judge, film critic, magazine article/blogger.  
https://simpsonliteraryagency.com/script-analyst
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Anon
Posted: July 7th, 2020, 9:41am Report to Moderator
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Barry,

I say this with nothing but good intentions. Thinking you'll become a known screenwriter with your first and only script does not make you a realist. It makes you a dreamer and good on you. But most people - myself included - have to write a lot more scripts before anything actually comes of it.

As to your first script, some advice. Unknown writers are most likely to succeed with -

A - A strong and distinctive voice
B - A clear and marketable genre
C - An execution that can be done on a low budget
And of course - a bloody brilliant story!

Good luck to you, and I'll happily take a look when you repost THE BOOK OF JOSEPH






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