This one was okay, a switch from the seriousness of most of the other scripts.  It did feel very rushed though and I agree with several of the above comments that the Kryder character and the ending could have been expanded.

As far as length, it made it to page number 6, which fulfills the requirement of the challenge.  Although, there was plenty of room to create a deeper story.  Then again, this was such a light piece I just don't think it was meant for much deep thought and scrutiny.  A pretty good job for an OWC.  

This was good. Well written and funny to boot. I think the writer did good by keeping it short. I think this joke would've gone a bit stale had it continued on much more.

I thought "Rubdown City" could've been a bit better. Other then that, I quite enjoyed it.

Good job completing the OWC...

James

Pretty sure that this was written by a straight person because no gay person would use the term limp wrist even though they might indeed show it.

The concept was cute but I thought it could have been taken even further, but then again you know me and this was tame in comparison to what I'd do to those cowboys.

It didn't really have much of a story.  

There were a few lines I found amusing like

KRYDER
What is that smell?

LARRY
Lavender. Like it?  

Overall I didn't think this was outrageous enough to merit the stereotypes and it lacked story - but it was somewhat amusing and it was a good weeks work for the OWC.

This was very funny and the dialogue, especially the cowboy talk, was spot on. The stereotype in the wrong genre is a nice angle and every line Larry said made me at least chuckle. Very well done.
Daz

Okay!  We get it!  You're gay!

It's ironic that this western script was such a one-trick-pony.  You started off with a flaming character and the whole script was about this flaming character.  I got tired of it pretty quickly.


Phil

This script has a colorful light tone. The thing is:

Does it poke fun and use an overdone stereo-type? Perhaps. And I don't
know what to say about that, but everyone is stereotyped somehow anyways.
It makes me think that this same idea in the saloon could be carried
out in so many different ways using other models. I'll keep it in mind
in the future.

This one is served up light and neat.

Sandra

An entertaining enjoyable read, great atmosphere and tone.
Fun, but essentially just a shoot up in a bar, albeit a gay one.

Leon

Hummm...

I believe this writer took a similar line from this script and injected it into their comment on another script, so I think I know who did this.

I liked your descriptions. They were clear and visual and I felt like I was back in the old west.

As for the story, I think it needs more.

Good for a OWC

Congrats.

Cindy

Alright!  The last of 'em for me.  I can only hope it's nothing but goofy gay jokes.

As I go:

Page 1:  "Ramrod Saloon"  See, this is exactly what I was hoping for!

Page 2:  This is f***ing hilarious.

Thoughts:

Haha!  What a great way to finish off the OWC.  Very amusing.

Missing: a complication.  Larry should have been faced by something new, something different, something he couldn't take care of.  We get pretty quickly that he's the best of the best -- we don't need to be shown, we just assume it of our cowboy heroes, really.  Woulda liked to see him square off against someone that'd give him a bit of trouble.  

That said -- quick, breezy, funny.  Very funny.  No punch, though, unless Larry gets himself into some trouble.  The higher the stakes, the funnier the wisecracks for the devil-may-care type.  Also, of course, this is where Larry gets to be...not a stereotype.  Which wouldn't be bad.  

Thanks for the great read!

I thought this was funny but not ha-ha funny.  The humor was more in the stereotypes than the situation and IMO the stereotypes were kind of subtle at that.  It was a good take on the theme but I would have liked more.  The conflict is there; these gruff cowboys don't like this dude's gayness so there's a showdown.  But it just came off as very routine and anticlimactic.  I guess it's because I already knew how it would end with Larry being the victor.  

So it was okay.  Good job for a week.

Greg

This got a couple of genuine laughs out of me.  As others have said: It's a bit of a one-trick-pony, and is more of a scene rather than a story, but it was very well written and I enjoyed reading it.

The author clearly had fun writing this, and it shows.

I really liked this. I agree with most of the other posts that it could do with there being a little more to it though. I would have liked to see Larry make Scanlon do the whole classic dance while he shoots at his feet, but with a line 'dance like a lady', or something similar but better. But that's just me, simple things and all that.

I liked Larry from his opening 'dee-lish' line, but I think it could have done with an exclamation mark to reach its full potential.

My only real niggle was the parenthetical...

LARRY
(to Max)
Why's it so quiet in here today, Max?

He says his name in the dialogue so it's not needed.

All in all a good, easy read. Good effort.

Arty.

I think maybe there should be a curveball where the hired gunman finds common ground with Larry, they share a drink, pissing everyone off. And then it goes bad for some silly reason, like the guy insults Larry's taste, and the shootout happens.

This is well written but bone-crunchingly clever.  There's wit and skill in evidence, wit and skill are, of course, great things.  

I liked it I thought some of the dialogue had a bit too muh telling, but overall you did a good job in painting a clear visual image.

Good job