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This script I liked a lot. The punchline made me laugh for like ten seconds. It was well-written, well-paced and pretty darn funny. I think this is about all you could hope for in the script. I would love to have known Colin's fate, but that would spoil the joke so I'm okay with the slight open-endedness to the script. Really well done.
Thanks for the read Chismeister, alex and Phil. Glad you all enjoyed it.
Your right Phil,
I heard this in joke form many years ago and it stuck with me cos I thought it was really funny, mind you I was probably drunk at the time. Anyway, I just decided the best way to share it was to fill it out into a short.
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Not bad. Not bad at all. I haven't heard the joke myself but the script worked well. There was a strong build up and a satisfying payoff. I'd say more but there really isn't much I can say, especially considering the length.
All in all, not a bad way to spend three minutes of my life. This brought a smile to my face. Thanks.
This was a short piece, but the ending is what made it worth reading.
I have not read previous comments so I apologize if I've repeated what other posters have said...
Now, this was REALLY short, and with only two characters in 3 pages, you can't really tell what they're personalities are like except for the fact that I think Andy is probably more competetive than Colin. Other than that, they're really two-dimensional. But once again, this is three pages. You could probably expand it just a few more pages to get the character flow out, throw in a bit of small jokes and end it with one big one.
Other than that, this was funny. I like your descriptions too.
Sean, this is really just a joke in script form so character building was my main thought here. I could extend it but it could lose its punch. Anyway thanks for reading this.
Check out my scripts...if you want to, no pressure.
Alffy-my British counterpart- nice joke, the format was spot on, dialogue flowed well, the tension was built nicely. All you can ask for in a joke. Was also funny.
I had a few minutes to do some reading so I chose your script. .
I never heard this joke before... So yeah, you got me. Nice story, and in only a few pages.
Cindy
Award winning screenwriter Available screenplays TINA DARLING - 114 page Comedy ONLY OSCAR KNOWS - 99 page Horror A SONG IN MY HEART - 94 page Drama HALLOWEEN GAMES - 105 page Drama