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Thanks for the read. As for the execution, sorry it didn't work for you. I think Mcornetto had a good suggestion as well with adding a human. I saw this as a frenetic piece though so I would worry about the pacing...
Sniper,
Thanks for the read and glad you got a few chuckles out of it.
Actually this idea comes from a program I saw about a guy in England who had an accident and literally has, like, a 30 second memory. So every 30 seconds he feels like he was just born or just let out of the hospital, and every time his daughter comes over he reacts like he hasn't seen her in twenty years. Very, very sad. I can;t imagine living that existence. Then again, neither can he.
So I thought, why not take the myth about goldfish and play it for comedy?
Just read your short. Good idea for a skit, although reminds of Dory from Finding Nemo. Think maybe you could find another angle... Them writing their names in the sand would be another way to end it, I think.
Funny though. A bit repetitive, but just a bit - good that you kept it to three pages.
Wow, I've never read anything that got on my nerves so quickly, which I presume was partly your intention. Unfortunately, the "so annoying its funny" angle had worn me down by the third page, which again you could attribute to the clarity of your writing. In that you achieved what you set out to do, conduct a conversation between two entities with an extremely limited memory. I mean, the only result of that is what we got here; a mind bending, headache inducing, blood pressure raising, cripplingly frustrating chat.
If you were to expand this you would have to introduce a new element like human interaction or something to break the perpetual, round in circles/back and forth exchanges of the two fish…or maybe put them in a bigger tank, really confuse the motherfu?kers.
i kinda remembered .. mounty python'ss Deja vo after reading this .. but it was a good one ... i dont read comedies cause .. most of them turn out to be lame ... but i am glad i read urs .. keep writing .. u have that flare .