Hey James,

I know this one has been out there a while, and looks like you've gotten plenty of feedback, but I finally got around to it.  Sorry I waited so long.  I haven't read the other comments, but will peruse them shortly, so I apologize if anything I say is repetitive.

Anyway, I gotta say, I enjoyed it.  It's gross, but I enjoyed it.  I mean, farts are funny, ther's just no getting around it.  I'm not sure you are going to win any Academy Awards for this one, but I thought it was funny.  Plus, I've always loved the imagery of the term "Cropduster" - always makes me chuckle.  Clearly a guy thing though.

Couple of high points for me below.

Jon's mom sounds like Eminem's mother.

P.4 - loved the Nurse's line about his unit.

Liked the montage on P.6 - see he could indeed reach his ass as high as the micro!

haha - cleaning lady.

Anyway, good luck.

Craig

New to SS and just read your script, pretty funny, farts usually are and love the Cropdusting parts and art form stuff. My only thing with this script is that he doesn't have the problem early enough for me and the problem isn't big enough, and is solved to easily. In shorts I feel things have to develop a lot quicker and in this Jon's road block happens late in the script, it's minor and solved quickly and the next road happens and it's over.

I really like the tag at the end.

Craig,

Hey, thanks for the read. Glad you liked it. It was simply meant to be some light humor. Yes, And it is probably mostly a guy thing. I had fun writing it. Definitely wouldn't get any academy nods, but I think it would make a funny little film.

mode11,

Nice to see a new guy commenting on scripts here. The story does develop back end heavy, I used more in the beginning to just get some humor across. Once he loses his ability to fart it all comes to a close very fast. I do think the problem is big enough. At least for Jon, Cropdusting was his reason for living. When he lost that he was devastated. Thanks for the read and advice. This one's gotten plenty. I've no plans to re-write it unless it gets some attention from someone who wants to make it.

James

I'm sorely disappointed not to see a dutch oven in here. SHAME on you James.

Besides that, I thought this was hilarious. Laughed out loud more than once. That seldom happens to me. Well done!

My only grip would be that the story feels a bit superficial. I know you can't be deep with this subject matter, I get it, but...

I noticed that Jon's farts only annoy people he doesn't care much about (coworkers) or people he hates (like his boss). What if his farts push away someone he CARES about? Have you considered, for example, giving him a love interest? Could add an emotional layer to all the hilarious and creative farting.

Anyhow. Solid work here. Very fun read.

Merry Christmas.  

Matias.

Merry Christmas! Thanks for the read. Glad you laughed.

As far as the love interest, I really wanted Jon to seem like a loner. If I rewrite this I would develop his motives a bit more. Him being picked on by the jocks at high school flashback, then him making them smell his farts as revenge.

If I were to expand on it, I could see an interesting argument from his girlfriend... And a dutch oven opportunity.

Thanks again you fuck, stop writing so good. Makes me wanna throw in the towel.

James

Hey James.

I haven't read this good old-fashioned country story yet, but I just wanted to let you know that if anybody could write a good story about a farmer taking care for their crops, it would be another good-old country Ohio boy from the mid-west like you.

I can't wait to read it.  I wonder what kind of crop the farmer grows.  Corn?  Maybe wheat?  I'm so excited to find out!!

OH MY GOODNESS!  THERE WASN'T A CROP IN THIS STORY AT ALL!

Oh, wait a second.  There was cabbage.  Nevermind, you're good.


What's up, James?

This was funny.  I found myself chuckling a lot when I was reading it.

I noticed a lot of people thought of Spiderman while they were reading it and I can see where they're coming from.  Myself, I was thinking of 'Fight Club', with the heavy voiceover and his retaliating against his boss.  Just had that vibe for me.

When others read this, they probably had more of a lighthearted slapstick thing going on in their heads.  That might be how you were picturing it when you wrote this, too.  Myself, for some reason, I got more of a black comedy vibe out of it

Overall, I think it was well written minus just a couple typos here and there, (which have been pointed out already).

Quoted from craiger6 I'm not sure you are going to win any Academy Awards for this one, but I thought it was funny.

I don't know about that.  If this is fleshed out, I think it really has a chance of taking home 'Best Special Effect'.

:-)

As for the ending, I thought Jon (because of how you built up his needing to take a crap), was going to end up shittin' a nice big gooey corn-ladden Cleveland steamer right on Walter's desk.

It was very funny for what it was, though, and I was entertained and enjoyed it pretty much the whole way through.

- Mark

Hey Youngstown,

Thanks for reading. This is the best comedy I've written to date, IMO. I like the fact the everyone thought jon was just gonna shit his pants at the end. It helps make the twist work.

I'm not sure about the Fight Club reference. All I remember is Brad Pit spitting blood in lou's face... "let us keep the club Lou! Let us keep the club". Prolly drumming up the wrong scene.

As many good reviews as I've gotten on this one, its has zero queries as to be filmed. I guess  maybe too many locations. The flashback at highschool would be tough too.

Your first post makes this even funnier to me. You actually thought I had a clue about real cropdusting because I live in Ohio?

I laughed my ass off writing it though. Thanks again...

James

Hi James this is Vaproduction and here is my review.

Now how should I say this.... In a smelly way? lol Well I must say that Im that interested in the idea of a story about someone thinking that they should fart 15 times a day but it seems like a interesting problem someone could have. But other than that I rate this a 2 out 5 for the lack of interest I had in the story itself. But I see others did get a laugh out of it but I didn't...but maybe just maybe if I actually seen this as a movie I might laugh and give it a 4 out of 5 but not until then. Peace.

Looks like you had a lot of fun writing this. I had fun reading it. Could make an SNL skit. They should have Jim Carrey play James...I mean Jon.

Love the great power line. Classic twist on words.

Man, I'm thinking chili for lunch today!

Thanks for the read Vap, sorry you didn't like it too much. Its a hard script to follow with all the V.O. and O.S. dialogue. It would make a funny film IMO.

Thanks for the read Kevin. Yes, this was a blast to write. I still laugh when I read it sometimes. Glad you enjoyed it...

James