She can feel herself return to the earth...

Hmm, hard to do a deer POV, unless animated.
The POV really came through from the 'expert' behind the scope.

On film, unless you imbued the deer with its own voice I don't really think what you wrote would come through emotionally. You did write with emotion but, just thinking about what we'd see and hear on screen... It would probably just look like deer gets shot by hunter.

Who?

I thought this was a horse at first. Golden brown coat makes me think horse. When I think deer I think emaciated and flea-ridden.

Not sure that what's actually on the screen would be any more than a hunter killing an animal. I think if you want to show us the fear from the animal's viewpoint, you needed to go different, and deeper.

Writer,

I think I understand what you were going for, but for a single page it’s tough to convey it properly. A decent attempt, but it misses the mark for me. It wants to make you think, but it lacks entertainment.

Steve

I felt this was ambitious.  Writing this from the POV of the animal is so hard.

Guys, the horror is that someone wants to kill you and you don't know of understand why.  That's horror.  I think you could have carried the chase and her fall.  

Solid 4 from me.

Dan

Quoted from DanC Guys, the horror is that someone wants to kill you and you don't know of understand why.  That's horror.  I think you could have carried the chase and her fall.   Dan

Well, no. Someone is trying to kill a deer or a horse (it seems people are still undecided), not me. As I don’t identify as a deer or a horse, this isn’t horrific in any way, for me personally.

Huge horror fan here, and for me the best horrors are the most realistic. Something like The Strangers; it’s a completely plausible situation that would be horrific to endure.

Visually, I didn't get this. Sure, at the ending I realized it might/must be deer; point is, the formatting is wrong all along.

If you write that scrip from the POV of an unknown object, without wanting to give away what it is, you must guide the reader properly.

Here, indeed it's the law of exception, cause IMO, you for sure should have placed P.O.V.s: We drink, we run… into every action here.

Those pages instead say SHE here SHE that-

Then why don't say a DEER if we see it on screen.
So, what do we see in fact? It's neither this nor that. The vision isn't clear.

It's a good idea, nevertheless- Really, if this is done with P.O.V. guidance and a deer in the reveal, we're playing...