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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Short Scripts  ›  Pro Kopf -Michel D's script "Despair is..." Filmed Moderators: bert
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  Author    Pro Kopf -Michel D's script "Despair is..." Filmed  (currently 4688 views)
Don
Posted: January 11th, 2007, 11:06pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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Despair is as simple as a Phone call by Michel J. Duthin - Short, Drama - One great moment of solitude or "Happiness is as simple as a phone call" antithesis. 5 pages - pdf, format

++++++++
Don's edit.

Michel's Despair is as Simple as a Phone Call has been filmed as Pro Kopf.  The trailer is awesome.  At the end, go full screen and you can see lower left corner Michel's name.  

Pro Kopf - Trailer (english subtitles) from Sascha Zimmermann on Vimeo.



The film has been shown in five festivals thus far and is also in the official selection of the Bronx Film Festival - USA in December.  


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Don  -  January 22nd, 2015, 6:35pm
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Zombie Sean
Posted: January 11th, 2007, 11:23pm Report to Moderator
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Haha I've read Happiness Is As Simple As A Phone Call before and I was kind of expecting a funny ending, and once I read this, I did!

This was good, but something bothers me to think that everyone who has a maid expects them to be hispanic, or at least that's a maid's stereotype. Is Anita Hispanic? It sounds Hispanic. Oh great, listen to me...I'm starting to be stereotypical myself...


POSSIBLE SPOILERS

All in all, this was a good short, you'd think Anita would hesitate a bit before shooting the couple, but if she was poor, then I could understand. She's just a woman who needs a lot of money.

Once again, I loved the ending.

Sean


MY WEBSITE

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Alex J. Cooper
Posted: January 11th, 2007, 11:30pm Report to Moderator
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Haha, what a great short. I saw what was coming, but still. The "tiny fridge" bit stopped the flow for me. This was executed very well, good job Michel!


Shorts:
I Named Him Thor
Footloose, Cut Loose
Tainted Milk
Marshmallows
Confucius & The Quest For Nessie
Wondrous Presentation
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chism
Posted: January 12th, 2007, 12:04am Report to Moderator
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Yeah I got a good laugh out of this short.

I didn't read the Happiness script, but this one was pretty good so I might have to check the other one out.


Cheers, Chismeister.
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mcornetto
Posted: January 12th, 2007, 3:10am Report to Moderator
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Very good Michel.  

I thought this was quite amusing. And your use of the language was excellent.  Keep up the good work.
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Takeshi
Posted: January 12th, 2007, 3:35am Report to Moderator
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Nice one, Michel; I didn't see that coming at all. Lol.

Just a couple of typos; Page 1 read: He open the fridge, instead of opens the fridge.

Page 2: “She in the bedroom etc”.  Should be “She’s in the bedroom etc”

Page 3: Max says “Yeap” instead of “Yep”  
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michel
Posted: January 12th, 2007, 7:27am Report to Moderator
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Hi everyone!

Thanks you all for your feedback. It's true I took some pleasure to write this. I'm glad you all liked it.

Regarding the typos Chris, I'm mad at me. I read ten times and always these ones. Grrrr...

Anita? Hispanic? No, she's Swedish (lol)

Michel


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Zombie Sean
Posted: January 12th, 2007, 12:47pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted Text
Anita? Hispanic? No, she's Swedish (lol)


Oh...haha... I guess I was the one being stereotypical...Anyways, great script and, uh, keep up the good work!

Sean


MY WEBSITE

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spencerforhire
Posted: January 14th, 2007, 11:16am Report to Moderator
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Write NOW! Perfect LATER!

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Good story. It had the best ending possible. On the flip side, this story could have been told in a much tighter (less page count) manner. And the dialogue was not believeable. A Spanish maid would not say the things she said. Having said that, Spanish maids are very loyal and would not pick up a gun and kill anyone, especially over the phone. You need to work on giving her a better reason. In your desciptons you tend to overwrite. Show us who the character is and what he or she does without dressing them. That is the directors job.

Spencer


I got nothing.  
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alffy
Posted: January 14th, 2007, 11:21am Report to Moderator
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Hey Michel,

I laughed at the ending of this, but like others saw it coming as I neared the conclusion.  Still good stuff though.

I also read your 'Happiness...' script, is there something going on with you and mobile phones?  Have you had a bad experience with them yourself? lol

Anywho good stuff mate


Check out my scripts...if you want to, no pressure.

You can find my scripts here
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dogglebe
Posted: March 7th, 2007, 6:41am Report to Moderator
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This is another old-joke-turned-to-screenplay script.  The second or third one I've read in recent weeks.  It makes a better joke than short, IMHO.


Phil
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michel
Posted: June 29th, 2011, 5:10am Report to Moderator
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Just signed the contract for an upcoming shooting in Germany (!!!)  

It'll be my fifth short to be produced.

Michel


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wonkavite
Posted: June 29th, 2011, 11:58am Report to Moderator
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Fun (and short) bit!

Okay, I'm leaving aside the fact that it stretches believability beyond the breaking point (that the maid would agree so quickly, or that Max would turn homicidal so easily, either.)

But...that's okay.  A fun read.  And enjoyable for what it is.

Cheers,

-WV
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crookedowl
Posted: June 29th, 2011, 2:58pm Report to Moderator
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I agree with Spencer. It needs work, but it's still a good scirpt. I loved the ending.
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michel
Posted: November 29th, 2012, 12:59pm Report to Moderator
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Pro Kopf - Trailer (english subtitles) from Sascha Zimmermann on Vimeo.



The trailer of "Despair..." filmed in Germany as Pro Kopf


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