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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Short Scripts  ›  Click Click Moderators: bert
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Don
Posted: February 18th, 2007, 1:45pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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Click Click by Anthony Hudson 'alffy' - Short, Comedy - Two photographers on a safari shoot.  It should be the job of a lifetime. 3 pages - pdf, format


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-------------
You will miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
- Wayne Gretzky

Revision History (1 edits)
Don  -  February 18th, 2007, 2:30pm
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chism
Posted: February 18th, 2007, 6:47pm Report to Moderator
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Anthony,

This script I liked a lot. The punchline made me laugh for like ten seconds. It was well-written, well-paced and pretty darn funny. I think this is about all you could hope for in the script. I would love to have known Colin's fate, but that would spoil the joke so I'm okay with the slight open-endedness to the script. Really well done.


Cheers, Chismeister.
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Alex J. Cooper
Posted: February 18th, 2007, 9:40pm Report to Moderator
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Deja Vu. I can't exactly remember where, but I've heard that line before in something. Still, it was a decent short. Keep it up.


Shorts:
I Named Him Thor
Footloose, Cut Loose
Tainted Milk
Marshmallows
Confucius & The Quest For Nessie
Wondrous Presentation
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dogglebe
Posted: February 18th, 2007, 10:00pm Report to Moderator
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This short was actually an old joke in script format.  It was nicely told, though.


Phil
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alffy
Posted: February 19th, 2007, 1:54pm Report to Moderator
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Thanks for the read Chismeister, alex and Phil.  Glad you all enjoyed it.

Your right Phil,

I heard this in joke form many years ago and it stuck with me cos I thought it was really funny, mind you I was probably drunk at the time.  Anyway, I just decided the best way to share it was to fill it out into a short.


Check out my scripts...if you want to, no pressure.

You can find my scripts here
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Heretic
Posted: February 19th, 2007, 7:44pm Report to Moderator
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Nicely told.  This joke is actually an old standby in my neck of the woods so what can you do but the leadup was nice.  I'll check out your other work.


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James McClung
Posted: February 19th, 2007, 8:50pm Report to Moderator
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Not bad. Not bad at all. I haven't heard the joke myself but the script worked well. There was a strong build up and a satisfying payoff. I'd say more but there really isn't much I can say, especially considering the length.

All in all, not a bad way to spend three minutes of my life. This brought a smile to my face. Thanks.


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alffy
Posted: February 20th, 2007, 1:28pm Report to Moderator
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Cheers for the read guy.

Heretic, I know it's an old joke but it is a good one.

James, glad I didn't waste your time lol.


Check out my scripts...if you want to, no pressure.

You can find my scripts here
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Slim_Productions
Posted: February 27th, 2007, 7:34pm Report to Moderator
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Alffy, pretty funny. Nice work.
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Zombie Sean
Posted: February 27th, 2007, 8:06pm Report to Moderator
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This was a short piece, but the ending is what made it worth reading.




I have not read previous comments so I apologize if I've repeated what other posters have said...


Now, this was REALLY short, and with only two characters in 3 pages, you can't really tell what they're personalities are like except for the fact that I think Andy is probably more competetive than Colin. Other than that, they're really two-dimensional. But once again, this is three pages. You could probably expand it just a few more pages to get the character flow out, throw in a bit of small jokes and end it with one big one.

Other than that, this was funny. I like your descriptions too.

Sean


MY WEBSITE

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alffy
Posted: February 28th, 2007, 9:30am Report to Moderator
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Thanks Slim for reading my short.

Sean, this is really just a joke in script form so character building was my main thought here.  I could extend it but it could lose its punch.  Anyway thanks for reading this.


Check out my scripts...if you want to, no pressure.

You can find my scripts here
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RobertSpence
Posted: February 28th, 2007, 1:08pm Report to Moderator
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Alffy-my British counterpart-
                                        nice joke, the format was spot on, dialogue flowed well, the tension was built nicely. All you can ask for in a joke. Was also funny.

   Robert


------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Scripts

Reservoir Pups

Short Comedy 14 pages

http://www.simplyscripts.net/cgi-bin/Blah/Blah.pl?m-1348865321/

The Break-Up Chronicles


Short Comedy/Drama 20 pages

http://www.simplyscripts.net/cgi-bin/Blah/Blah.pl?m-1388849749/s-0/#num4
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alffy
Posted: March 1st, 2007, 11:25am Report to Moderator
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Cheers Robert,

Thanks for reading this, I guess I've finally got my head around format cos everyones said its fne. lol

Nice to see another Brit here, I don't think there's that many of us.


Check out my scripts...if you want to, no pressure.

You can find my scripts here
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CindyLKeller
Posted: March 2nd, 2007, 5:40pm Report to Moderator
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Hey alffy,

I had a few minutes to do some reading so I chose your script. .

I never heard this joke before...
So yeah, you got me.  
Nice story, and in only a few pages.

Cindy


Award winning screenwriter
Available screenplays
TINA DARLING - 114 page Comedy
ONLY OSCAR KNOWS - 99 page Horror
A SONG IN MY HEART - 94 page Drama
HALLOWEEN GAMES - 105 page Drama
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alffy
Posted: March 3rd, 2007, 12:25pm Report to Moderator
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Cheers Cindy

this joke is as old as the hills, or so I thought.  Glad you liked it though, it's just a simple story but I think it's funny.

Anywho thanks again.


Check out my scripts...if you want to, no pressure.

You can find my scripts here
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