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I think if you give it a watch, you will probably understand my screenplays a bit better. Or maybe you won't. Either way it would be interesting to hear what you have to say about Aileen...the girl of your dreams...or a nightmare...
Just finished watching Aileen. It's interesting to know how much the name tells about the story.
It was a nice little short. I think you should have gone more on Close Ups, most of your shots were medium and full shots. For example the preparation scene in the beginning when the guy is getting ready - could have been better with a fast montage and close ups.
The alien was ----- good i guess. It was funny. I understand you didn't have budget and things but the monster was the wrong part. I mean the costume, not as a character.
Anyway if you have other shorts, I would like to watch them.
Wow. This is amazing. I too just got one of my short films on Youtube. I made the short with friends and family way way back in 2001
I'm keen to look at your short M but right now it is late. I just got home and had been playing Nerf wars with my nephews and their friends so I am in pain and cooked from the sun and tired so will go to bed now and then look at your short tommorow
Hehe, very good, very funny, Michael. I especially liked when he screamed! One note though, I think the scene where he's preparing to meet Aileen could have been trimmed a little just to give it a better pace.
Very enjoyable though.
Down in the hole / Jesus tries to crack a smile / Beneath another shovel load
I agree about that scene and it originally wasn't supposed to be in there but the actor didn't want to get fake blood on his good shirt so we had to account for the change of clothes.
Did you read the IMs about how she's drooling with anticipation or how she hopes it's tasty? But I understand your point and I agree with it to an extent - especially after using them on screen.
I don't make more shorts because it's a pain in the neck organising everyone that's needed to do it. And then it takes eons of time in editing. It's much more stressful and time consuming than just writing the script. Though next time I find a producer willing to do the organising part you probably will see another one.
It would probably interest some of you to see the script this was shot from. Problem is this was shot just before I started screenwriting so it didn't exactly use a script. I just used a write-up and it's significantly different than the finished film.
I'm embarrassed as heck to post this but since this is Simply Scripts some of you would probably enjoy looking at it (you'll at least have a good laugh at it, I did). Here is the write-up and warning it ain't pretty.
Thought the spacegrrl screen name was funny, bu ultimately thought the Aileen name was even funnier after everything that went down. definitely caught what you were going for there.
The soundtrack? No real complaints. I did think it was a bit overused, but given its 80's feel it most certainly worked in the montage, because really, what good 80's movie didn't have a kick ass montage in it?