Barstool Deceptions by P.H. Cook - Short, Sci Fi, Mystery - When a journalist investigating alien sightings encounters a mysterious woman at an airport bar, he is drawn into a revelation about otherworldly beings that blurs the line between belief and reality. 9 pages

Production: Shoestring budget. One location, three actors. - pdf format

For production consideration - No comments needed

You got me good, Pia!
Funny, I should have picked it... The ending is what makes this. Really enjoyable.

Thanks Libby!

I've had this one on Script Revolution for a while, but it's not getting a lot of downloads or likes, so I figured I'd put it up here and see if anyone is interested. Are you geeting any hits at SR? CJ said in his last newsletter the site had reached 15,000 members, but there only seem to be one or two success stories per month. Just curious.

Quoted from Grandma Bear Thanks Libby! I've had this one on Script Revolution for a while, but it's not getting a lot of downloads or likes, so I figured I'd put it up here and see if anyone is interested. Are you geeting any hits at SR? CJ said in his last newsletter the site had reached 15,000 members, but there only seem to be one or two success stories per month. Just curious.

Interesting.  SS gets about 2 to 3 'takedowns' a month - options, usually. I don't like to advertise that as it sets an unrealistic expectation.  I can't tell you the number of times I get the, "My script has been on your site a week and no one has bought it..." email.

sigh.

Don

Quoted from Grandma Bear Thanks Libby! I've had this one on Script Revolution for a while, but it's not getting a lot of downloads or likes, so I figured I'd put it up here and see if anyone is interested. Are you geeting any hits at SR? CJ said in his last newsletter the site had reached 15,000 members, but there only seem to be one or two success stories per month. Just curious.

I get the occasional read request on SR. Nothing much more though. Always get more queries through SS.

Mind you, it's time I bumped up my catalogue aka write more.  

Quoted from Don Interesting.  SS gets about 2 to 3 'takedowns' a month - options, usually. I don't like to advertise that as it sets an unrealistic expectation.  I can't tell you the number of times I get the, "My script has been on your site a week and no one has bought it..." email. sigh. Don

Ooh, interesting. The first bit I mean.And even more incentive to write more. The second bit is highly amusing.

Quoted from Don Interesting.  SS gets about 2 to 3 'takedowns' a month - options, usually.

As you know, I've had great success at SS as far as getting scripts produced. Filmmakers really do come here for scripts. I've had maybe five or so picked up from SR.

Quoted from LC I get the occasional read request on SR. Nothing much more though. Always get more queries through SS.

You can disable the download request at SR. I get maybe 2-5 downloads per week. I think it's because anyone can read my scripts. I don't care. I get an email every time someone downloads a script, so there's still a record of who did. I see people are paying extra now for membership. It would be interesting to know how many people pay to have scripts on Inktip.  

I like this a lot. Short and intriguing.

And really so many rounds of drinks during a 5 minute discussion?

You really could take this to another level.

Enjoyed the read tho.

Thanks.

Hey, thanks for taking a look at my script. Glad you liked it too.  

Quoted from Stoneyscripts And really so many rounds of drinks during a 5 minute discussion?

The numerous amounts of drinks were meant to be a clue. He's getting drunk, she isn't. Why? Maybe it works as some kind of fuel for her or maybe she's just trying to look like she belongs and just have no clue how much to consume. I've known a few humans like that.

Quoted from Stoneyscripts You really could take this to another level.

Like?

Thanks again.  

I know you said no comments, but I’m not good at following instructions and to quote Ron White, “I knew I had the right to remain silent, I just did not have the ability”.  

Loved it!  I kinda knew where it was heading but had to keep reading the witty dialogue (and see how many shots they were actually going to have). Excellent work as always, Pia. You know I’m a fan. Good luck with this!

Nice little short here, Pia. I found the dialogue particularly strong. I'm sure it will get picked up soon, just like everything else you write  

I had 17 pages of handwritten notes, but then I saw that comments weren't needed so I shredded them and used the confetti as tinder to heat my house which didn't make sense since it's already really hot outside.

Oh well...

From what I remember...

Dialogue - strong (as always)
Story - strong (as always)

SPOILERS

It was clear that the woman was the alien but if there's a way to make it less clear, then the reveal would hit harder. My 2 cents.

Thanks for the read!

Quoted from kcranford Loved it!  I kinda knew where it was heading but had to keep reading the witty dialogue (and see how many shots they were actually going to have). Excellent work as always, Pia. You know I’m a fan. Good luck with this!

Thank you! You're very kind.

PS: There's a question for you at the bottom.

Quoted from Warren Nice little short here, Pia. I found the dialogue particularly strong. I'm sure it will get picked up soon, just like everything else you write

I'm happy to see that my dialogue has improved. It wasn't that long ago people would tell me it was my weakest area. Thanks for looking. Oh, and the script I "sold" a little while ago, I'm still waiting for the money... He insists his working on it.  

Btw, I also want to read that horror feature of yours! I have guests here for another nine days, but after that I should have plenty of time to read and write again.

Quoted from Nomad I had 17 pages of handwritten notes, but then I saw that comments weren't needed so I shredded them and used the confetti as tinder to heat my house which didn't make sense since it's already really hot outside. Oh well... From what I remember... Dialogue - strong (as always) Story - strong (as always) SPOILERS It was clear that the woman was the alien but if there's a way to make it less clear, then the reveal would hit harder. My 2 cents. Thanks for the read!

Lol! Too bad you shredded those notes! I would've liked to read them.  

Thanks for the nice words.

To you and Kathy, was there anything specific that tipped you off about the woman? I'd like to tweak that part. It's a fine line though because a couple of people that have read it did not see it coming.

Quoted from Grandma Bear Thank you! You're very kind. To you and Kathy, was there anything specific that tipped you off about the woman? I'd like to tweak that part. It's a fine line though because a couple of people that have read it did not see it coming.

Well, I guess I was trying to “sniff out” the alien since I thought there certainly was one somewhere. That and her extreme knowledge of all their navigational science and such an “inside scoop” on their technology. Loved her exit from the bar by the way.  

Cool story - Pia - well done.

I would consider one alternate ending (just spit-blaing) -

You have this line here:

Quoted Text They can morph into beings familiar to them, those they've studied and believe would blend in here. I

So... maybe consider having her morph into an an image of Ryan or the Bartender rather than a black man since she was studying them both

Anyway - good stuff