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He shouldn't attack Tex with the song as the audience wouldn't get it. Perhaps he should direct his improve to the heckler.
By that point, the audience is out of the equation. I tweaked it a little bit awhile ago. There's a revised ending here now. I can afford to work on this a little bit based on what's invested so far, but I also have time to think on it since I got two other things rolling.
If this is the same version I read, which I believe it is, then I think the confrontation with Bob should be provided in the first couple of pages. Buddy knows now that he has the chance at a steady gig, you've upped the stakes. This gives us some added tension on stage.
Then during the stage show Buddy should flounder more and we should cleary see the realisation he comes to when he decides to play it differently. In other words it should be more of a gradual transition.
Lastly, I liked the idea of this ending with him coming out onstage as his adult persona and beginning his new act.
Thanks for the comment. This version is a little different than what you read, and even a little different than what most of the previous posters have read.
I've been screwing with it and sending the new drafts to my website link in between breaks of the other stuff I have to get done right away. I'd say I've definitely done a good job in making up for all the golf I played this summer.
I like how thoroughly you committed to Buddy's transformation from children's entertainer to evil minstrel. Dead hookers and incest? Comedy gold.
When Buddy first insulted the heckler, I thought you were going to turn him into a Don Rickles-type. But I like how Buddy used his musical chops to win over the crowd.
I thought you stretched believability a bit when Tex made no mention of the adult audience until moments before the show. Tex may be a jackass, but I don't think he would throw his client to the wolves like that. Maybe if you got rid of the part with Buddy peeking around the curtain and instead just had him wringing his hands and freaking out in the dressing room, because he already knows who's out there.
"This is obviously not a normal set."
That line seemed superfluous, as we had all figured that out by that point.
I guess I didn't mind the ending as much as some people, because I really liked the lyrics of that last song. I don't know what that says about me. But, when you asked about alternative endings, the first thing that crossed my mind was Buddy coming up with a number about Tex. Because I got the feeling that Buddy had found his true calling in life with this new act and Tex was not pleased with it at all.
Maybe if you increased the tension between Buddy and Tex before the final scene, then Buddy finishes the song about burying the hooker and sees Tex glaring at him offstage. Then Buddy busts out a tune to give Tex a gentle reminder to play along or else. Perhaps a gem like "Murdering my Manager" or "Shut your face, Tex."
I liked the script, although some of it felt a little forced to me as well. The character of Tex seemed a little off. Perhaps because he, being the manager of a kids entertainer, after booking him to entertain adults, expected him to be able to carry off the same style act?
What if Buddy ran into some parents in a crowd who had seen him entertaining their kids at some party? How do you think they might react?
Whew, talk about getting yourself out of a tight spot.
I really enjoyed this one and my suggestion for the ending is that it end to late.
Is there really a need for the fade out fade in bit pinned onto the end?
You could just have it that as Tex watch Buddy's performenance he dose crazy hand signals that say STOP! NO! and when the crowd go wild and cheer both look at each other with mouth wide opened stunned "what the- ?" expression on their faces.
I tried to make Tex just a little on the smarmy side, booking the gig without really thinking about Buddy, just his ten percent.
The "normal set" line is probably superfluous, but it's a good little note for an actor.
This ending is different than the one commented on by previous readers. I did some tweaks to it over the weekend.
I went with the fade out/fade in just to show a passage of time. I figured it was better to go about it that way after the scene with Bob in the hallway.
The build up was good and the songs even better. The learning to tie a shoe song is funny given the setting that Buddy has been placed in. The crowd reactions would add to the humour.
Then Buddy evolves and becomes the adult performer. Great stuff.
Not sure if the ending has been altered. It is good but I'm not feeling any closure on it. I felt it can be lengthened.
Tex is obviously an idiot. I think Buddy should have sacked him to be honest.
How about another song where Buddy asks the crowd if they want to hear a few unknown truths. And sacks Tex during the song in the process?
Could also point to failed gigs in the past too.
Overall, I enjoyed it and the Buddy character too. Just needs a little more spice to the ending.
Now that I think of it, your Tex character sort of reminded me of that episode of the Simpsons when Homer turned into "Col. Homer" and managed the country singer. They even dressed alike. It might be a funny scene if you showed Tex playing hardball with some kid's mom for more money.
If you get a chance, check out my script Safety Boy on the new unproduced page. I'd like to hear your feedback on it.