SimplyScripts Discussion Board
Blog Home - Produced Movie Script Library - TV Scripts - Unproduced Scripts - Contact - Site Map
ScriptSearch
Welcome, Guest.
It is July 8th, 2020, 9:33am
Please login or register.
Was Portal Recent Posts Home Help Calendar Search Register Login
If you wish to join this discussion board, please send me a message. Please do read the guidelines that govern behavior on the discussion board. It will make for a much more pleasant experience for everyone. A word about SimplyScripts and Censorship


Scripts Studios are posting for 2019 - 2020 award consideration
The Writer's Tournament is on!

Round 1 is up!

Short Script of the Day | Featured Script of the Month | Featured Short Scripts Available for Production | Submit Your Script

How do I get my film's link and banner here?
All screenplays on the simplyscripts.com and simplyscripts.net domain are copyrighted to their respective authors. All rights reserved. This screenplaymay not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.
Forum Login
Username: Create a new Account
Password:     Forgot Password

SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    One Week Challenge    January 2019 -  One Week Challenge  ›  Love Terror - OWC
Users Browsing Forum
No Members and 1 Guests

 Pages: « 1, 2 : All
Recommend Print
  Author    Love Terror - OWC  (currently 761 views)
PKCardinal
Posted: February 8th, 2019, 1:43pm Report to Moderator
Regular



Location
Kansas
Posts
759
Posts Per Day
0.82
So, that was romantic.

Doesn't feel like a serious entry, so, I don't see the need for a serious review.

Kudos for writing it, and thanks for sharing. I'm betting the next OWC, whatever it is, will be more up your alley. Look forward to reading that entry.


PaulKWrites.com

60 Feet Under - Low budget, contained thriller/Feature
The Hand of God - Low budget, semi-contained thriller/Feature

Many shorts available for production: comedy, thriller, drama, light horror
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 15 - 22
Philostrate
Posted: February 8th, 2019, 2:17pm Report to Moderator
Been around a while



Posts
336
Posts Per Day
0.39
Hi Writer,

Solid writing on display.

You made me laugh but the bitten off nipple and the projectile vomiting took me off the story.

Not a fan of the dream part either.

Overall - it didn't work for me.

Good job on entering, though. This was a tough challenge.


Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 16 - 22
DaveTroop
Posted: February 10th, 2019, 10:51am Report to Moderator
Been around a while



Location
at my desk
Posts
132
Posts Per Day
0.04
Be My Psycho Valentine 2

The second romcom in a row which featured at least one psychopath, a gruesome bloody murder, and a horrific pop song.  (Oops.  I thought Heat by Beyonce was a song.)
Not complaining. Just pointing it out.

Your script may feature the funniest line in the contest, so kudos for that.

Not a big fan of the dream escape.

But, at the end of the day, it’s still not nohow a romcom.

Thanks for entering.

Revision History (1 edits)
DaveTroop  -  February 10th, 2019, 10:54am
My bad.
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 17 - 22
Spqr
Posted: February 10th, 2019, 1:51pm Report to Moderator
Been around a while


Posts
323
Posts Per Day
0.08
An entertaining vignette, but it seems to have missed the point of the challenge. Dream/daydream sequences have become so overused they've become a cliche. In this case, it serves the purpose of stimulating John to cater to Mary. Which he should, cause if he's half the slouch he was in the dream, Mary is definitely going to get rid of him. Which may be the basis for an unusual romcom: shape up or die.
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 18 - 22
jayrex
Posted: February 11th, 2019, 3:06am Report to Moderator
Old Timer


Cut to three weeks earlier

Location
London, UK
Posts
1389
Posts Per Day
0.28
I think this one took the piss.  I still liked it.

I guess the romance was in the beginning albeit one sided.

I thought it was funny.  And many scripts here seem to struggle with that.

I'd rank this script higher than one that used drama.


Logged
Site Private Message Reply: 19 - 22
Conz
Posted: February 14th, 2019, 9:15am Report to Moderator
Been around a while



Posts
329
Posts Per Day
0.09
I uh… ok.  I don’t have much to say, so I guess that’s good.

She flipped on a dime.

“That was my favorite nipple!” is a beacon amongst otherwise “meh” comedic lines.

Dream explains it.

There were hints you are funny and creative, just not enough of them.

Not the worst.


I'd list my "work" here, but I don't know how to hyperlink.  

"Career" Highlights
-2, count em, 2 credits on my IMDB page.  
-One time a fairly prominent producer e-mailed me back.  
-I have made more than $1000 with my writing!
-I've won 2 mugs... and a thong.  (polaroids of me in thong available for $10 through PM)

@vc_wg - because I crave attention
Logged
Private Message Reply: 20 - 22
PrussianMosby
Posted: February 14th, 2019, 5:14pm Report to Moderator
Old Timer


Posts
1417
Posts Per Day
0.58
Title is good. Logline is okay but just not an overly intriguing scenario per se.

The script is not to my taste. It all feels like a crude slapstick comedy, well it is, and in that certain field it has to be reaaaallly good to get me on board. Out of genre and not my taste.



Logged
Private Message Reply: 21 - 22
AnthonyCawood
Posted: February 14th, 2019, 7:42pm Report to Moderator
Old Timer



Location
UK
Posts
3028
Posts Per Day
1.24
Thought some of this was quite funny but not really a romcom for me.

Some decent lines though, 'that was my fave nipple' made me chuckle.

But the end twist spoilt it a little for me, I'd have stuck to your guns and gone full grand guignol


Anthony Cawood - Award winning screenwriter
Available Short screenplays - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/short-scripts
Available Feature screenplays - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/feature-film-scripts/
Screenwriting articles - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/articles
IMDB Link - http://www.imdb.com/name/nm6495672/?ref_=fn_al_nm_1
Logged Online
Site Private Message Reply: 22 - 22
 Pages: « 1, 2 : All
Recommend Print

Locked Board Board Index    January 2019 -  One Week Challenge  [ previous | next ] Switch to:
Was Portal Recent Posts Home Help Calendar Search Register Login

Forum Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post polls
You may not post attachments
HTML is on
Blah Code is on
Smilies are on


Powered by E-Blah Platinum 9.71B © 2001-2006