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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    One Week Challenge    January 2019 -  One Week Challenge  ›  Love Terror - OWC
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  Author    Love Terror - OWC  (currently 761 views)
Posted: February 8th, 2019, 1:43pm Report to Moderator

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So, that was romantic.

Doesn't feel like a serious entry, so, I don't see the need for a serious review.

Kudos for writing it, and thanks for sharing. I'm betting the next OWC, whatever it is, will be more up your alley. Look forward to reading that entry.

60 Feet Under - Low budget, contained thriller/Feature
The Hand of God - Low budget, semi-contained thriller/Feature

Many shorts available for production: comedy, thriller, drama, light horror
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Posted: February 8th, 2019, 2:17pm Report to Moderator
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Hi Writer,

Solid writing on display.

You made me laugh but the bitten off nipple and the projectile vomiting took me off the story.

Not a fan of the dream part either.

Overall - it didn't work for me.

Good job on entering, though. This was a tough challenge.

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Posted: February 10th, 2019, 10:51am Report to Moderator
Been around a while

at my desk
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Be My Psycho Valentine 2

The second romcom in a row which featured at least one psychopath, a gruesome bloody murder, and a horrific pop song.  (Oops.  I thought Heat by Beyonce was a song.)
Not complaining. Just pointing it out.

Your script may feature the funniest line in the contest, so kudos for that.

Not a big fan of the dream escape.

But, at the end of the day, it’s still not nohow a romcom.

Thanks for entering.

Revision History (1 edits)
DaveTroop  -  February 10th, 2019, 10:54am
My bad.
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Posted: February 10th, 2019, 1:51pm Report to Moderator
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An entertaining vignette, but it seems to have missed the point of the challenge. Dream/daydream sequences have become so overused they've become a cliche. In this case, it serves the purpose of stimulating John to cater to Mary. Which he should, cause if he's half the slouch he was in the dream, Mary is definitely going to get rid of him. Which may be the basis for an unusual romcom: shape up or die.
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Posted: February 11th, 2019, 3:06am Report to Moderator
Old Timer

Cut to three weeks earlier

London, UK
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I think this one took the piss.  I still liked it.

I guess the romance was in the beginning albeit one sided.

I thought it was funny.  And many scripts here seem to struggle with that.

I'd rank this script higher than one that used drama.

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Posted: February 14th, 2019, 9:15am Report to Moderator
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I uh… ok.  I don’t have much to say, so I guess that’s good.

She flipped on a dime.

“That was my favorite nipple!” is a beacon amongst otherwise “meh” comedic lines.

Dream explains it.

There were hints you are funny and creative, just not enough of them.

Not the worst.

I'd list my "work" here, but I don't know how to hyperlink.  

"Career" Highlights
-2, count em, 2 credits on my IMDB page.  
-One time a fairly prominent producer e-mailed me back.  
-I have made more than $1000 with my writing!
-I've won 2 mugs... and a thong.  (polaroids of me in thong available for $10 through PM)

@vc_wg - because I crave attention
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Posted: February 14th, 2019, 5:14pm Report to Moderator
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Title is good. Logline is okay but just not an overly intriguing scenario per se.

The script is not to my taste. It all feels like a crude slapstick comedy, well it is, and in that certain field it has to be reaaaallly good to get me on board. Out of genre and not my taste.

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Posted: February 14th, 2019, 7:42pm Report to Moderator
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Thought some of this was quite funny but not really a romcom for me.

Some decent lines though, 'that was my fave nipple' made me chuckle.

But the end twist spoilt it a little for me, I'd have stuck to your guns and gone full grand guignol

Anthony Cawood - Award winning screenwriter
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