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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    One Week Challenge    May 2010 One Week Challenge  ›  OWC - No Meat
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  Author    OWC - No Meat  (currently 3398 views)
Don
Posted: May 17th, 2010, 5:33pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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No Meat by Anonymous - Short, Drama - Ronald and Katherine are carnivores.  Abigail is a vegan.  What does a backyard BBQ have to do with an eggplant?  - doc, format


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You will miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
- Wayne Gretzky
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Dreamscale
Posted: May 17th, 2010, 7:34pm Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


Yes, that is my real hair...

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OK, someone is definitely fucking around here...at least I hope so.

Seriously, some of the best worst dialogue ever.  Truly hysterical.

Descriptions are also awful.  I don't think there's a single comma in here.

BUT, I actually did laugh at the end.  Funny stuff, but I'm 98% sure this is another pissatke...if not, could be 1 of the worst scripts I've ever seen.


To ski or not to ski...that's not even a question.
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stevie
Posted: May 17th, 2010, 7:44pm Report to Moderator
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Yeah, this was a pisstake BUT at least it was reasonably funny!  A pisstake has to be funny to succeed!

I'd like to see this filmed. J Bush could play Ronald. Michael could even do it as a machinima.


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James McClung
Posted: May 17th, 2010, 7:53pm Report to Moderator
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Well, that was fun. Not even gonna bother reviewing it proper-like. It's a joke and it worked. Kudos!


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greg
Posted: May 17th, 2010, 8:01pm Report to Moderator
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Oh Hi

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Well, unlike the other pisstakes I won't call this a complete waste of time as it was actually pretty funny.

Got some formatting gaffes you need to fix.


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Dreamscale
Posted: May 17th, 2010, 8:10pm Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


Yes, that is my real hair...

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YES!  I want to play Ronald.

I think I could deliver those witty lines of his quite well.  The dialogue exchanges sound so realistic!


To ski or not to ski...that's not even a question.
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Trojan
Posted: May 17th, 2010, 9:02pm Report to Moderator
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Haha this was pretty funny, obviously no need to comment on anything as it was just someone taking the piss. Good job though.

Cheers,
Tim.
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Ryan1
Posted: May 17th, 2010, 9:07pm Report to Moderator
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Good old Ronald.  Lord of the eggplants.  

This dialogue would make sense if all three of them had been lobotomized.  Well, at least you went for a laugh.
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MBCgirl
Posted: May 17th, 2010, 11:26pm Report to Moderator
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Some things are better left to the imagination!

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Short and...the eggplant fell into the pool! Oh my gosh...as bad as it is...truly bad grammatically...it is TRULY funny and I think the story line is pretty clever and off the normal, over beaten, path. I laughed all the way to the end.


http://www.myspace.com/mbcgirl††

I love words and the fact that when the page is blank...there's nothing there until words are formulated in my brain. Those thoughts...rushing through my viens and out my finger tips, find "life" on the page.††

When people and places come to life...that to me is exciting.


MBCgirl =)
My finger nails should look nice while I type - Red works!
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michel
Posted: May 18th, 2010, 2:33am Report to Moderator
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This one wants to be daring but the treatment and the dialogs are  very poor. Sounds like a (very) bad porn from the 70' to me.

Michel


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grademan
Posted: May 18th, 2010, 8:44am Report to Moderator
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A guy and two vegan lesbians talking by the pool. And the guy's wearing a tight white speedo. I agree with Michel, this is a lost script from the 70's porn vault. Poorly done with a chuckle. OK, who around here writes in MS Word?
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pwhitcroft
Posted: May 18th, 2010, 5:53pm Report to Moderator
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Okay so youíre doing the jokey porn thing. Overall thatís a mildly amusing waste of time.


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Sandra Elstree.
Posted: May 18th, 2010, 7:10pm Report to Moderator
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What if the Hokey Pokey, IS what it's all about?

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Someone's having fun around here!

RONALD
Hi Katherine, how are you?

KATHERINE
Well, I keep getting wedgies from my teeny weeny bikini,
but otherwise I'm fine. Whatcha doin'?

RONALD
Just hosin'.

ABIGAIL
What am I doing in this script if I don't get to have a threesome?

RONALD
Sorry, I'm just the eggplant man. I tried my best.



I enjoyed this one. Splendid piece of crap!  

Sandra



A known mistake is better than an unknown truth.
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Ledbetter
Posted: May 18th, 2010, 9:54pm Report to Moderator
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Priceless. I mean this is priceless. A funny absolute snapshot of perfection. It takes you on a journey to where? Your soul. If you did not feel that with this script, start sizing yourself for a coffen, because you are already dead.

I wept. Bitterly at first, then as an elderly man in soiled depends.

If I were the editor of HUSTLER, I would give this 4 straight up boners.

Shawn.....><
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TheRichcraft
Posted: May 20th, 2010, 1:26pm Report to Moderator
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Now you guys don't be making fun of 1970s porn plots.  They were much more believable than this script.
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