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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Screenwriting Discussion    The 2019 Writers' Tournament  ›  Round 4 Topic & Discussion Thread. Moderators: Mr. Blonde
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  Author    Round 4 Topic & Discussion Thread.  (currently 8250 views)
Mr. Blonde
Posted: June 21st, 2019, 11:00pm Report to Moderator
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Christ, it's only Round 4? God help us all...

Genre: Action.

Location: Church (Place of Worship).

Object: Trading Card.


Good luck.

+++ Submit to SimplyScripts.com/OWC +++


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Mr. Blonde
Posted: June 21st, 2019, 11:00pm Report to Moderator
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Full disclosure, everyone. I've been trying to keep up with everything, but four people at my place have quit or been fired in the last 10 days. So, I wanted to go through the scores and go through the comments. Neither of those has happened this week. I'm going to be playing catch-up for the next week or so, but I'm still on schedule. Nothing's changing. Just going to have to work extra hard in the next 2 weeks. Hope some people still choose to enter with the category this week.


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stevie
Posted: June 21st, 2019, 11:04pm Report to Moderator
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Trading card like a baseball card thats worth money?


Wasn’t this an OWC once?  It sounds vaguely familiar



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Mr. Blonde
Posted: June 21st, 2019, 11:07pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from stevie
Trading card like a baseball card thats worth money?


Wasn’t this an OWC once?  It sounds vaguely familiar


Yeah, like those kinds of cards, but it can be any kind of trading card. I don't recall that OWC, specifically. May have been before my time. Lol.


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stevie
Posted: June 21st, 2019, 11:10pm Report to Moderator
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Cheers Blondie   Happy birthday too! And to me lol

Yeah there was an OWC that had to be set in a church and there was another specific too   I didnt enter it but will check on it    The others may recall   Not that long ago either



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LC
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Ooh, Blondie is still alive. Yay!

And Round 4 is up. Double yay!
Oh, hang on, I'd better read what is is first.

Edit: At first glance easier than Sanitiser.

Second, can someone please clarify what they believe constitutes Action.

I get:

Action film with a fast-moving plot, usually containing scenes of violence, it is a film genre in which one or more heroes are put into a series of challenges that typically include physical threats, extended fight scenes, violence, and frantic chases

I don't know about chasing someone around a pulpit, however DaVinci Code comes to mind...

And, Wiki tells me this:

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Action_film

I don't think I've ever written an action script.


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FrankM
Posted: June 21st, 2019, 11:13pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from LC
And Round 4 is up. Double yay!
Oh, hang on, I'd better read what is is first.


You read the criteria before writing your story?

Some of the work habits around here are just plain weird.


Feature-length scripts:
Who Wants to Be a Princess? (Family)
Glass House (Horror anthology)

TV pilots:
"Kord" (Fantasy)
"Mal Suerte" (Superhero)

Additional scripts are listed here.
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stevie
Posted: June 21st, 2019, 11:14pm Report to Moderator
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Found it    Was a quickie challenge 2 years back   Random elements handed out one of which was a church location and the prop a pair of dice.

Action genre is prolly the hardest one to write as they could be quite boring without the edge of horror or comedy lol



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LC
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Quoted from FrankM
You read the criteria before writing your story?Some of the work habits around here are just plain weird.

You're funny, Frank.  
...
And, Stevie, yep I remember that one. Dice in the church. Which OWC was it? A couple of good entries from that one I recall. Ok, I see it. It actually was called a Quickie Challenge.





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Matthew Taylor
Posted: June 22nd, 2019, 3:17am Report to Moderator
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Looks like Slimbo and Dobo's zoo just gained a church.


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jayrex
Posted: June 22nd, 2019, 3:29am Report to Moderator
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Are we talking about things like baseball cards?

I can't think of anything in my world.  The nearest thing I can think of is trump cards.  But they're more like game cards.

Hopefully some brits can help me out.


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Scar Tissue Films
Posted: June 22nd, 2019, 3:32am Report to Moderator
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Yes.

Baseball cards, I believe are the most valuable...the rarest is worth $3M. NFL cards are also valuable.

They can also be modern ones that have no vale, as yet, of course.
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Matthew Taylor
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Quoted from jayrex
Are we talking about things like baseball cards?

I can't think of anything in my world.  The nearest thing I can think of is trump cards.  But they're more like game cards.

Hopefully some brits can help me out.


Top Trumps wouldn't count as you don't trade them. Think like Pokmon cards, they are trading cards... Or do they still do those football sticker books? Ok they're stickers but for the purpose of the script just make them trading cards


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LC
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Hmm, there's all kinds of trading cards. Are they the same as collectible cards? Look at Wiki and there's a bunch totally unrelated to U.S. sports -  different cultures, different cards.

https://www.thetoptens.com/top-trading-card-games/

Do trading card games count? E.g.Yu-Gi-Oh, Pokemon??
I think this needs clarifying.

Edit: Also, is it out of bounds to have fictional trading cards, invent your own?


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jayrex
Posted: June 22nd, 2019, 4:15am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Matthew Taylor


Top Trumps wouldn't count as you don't trade them. Think like Pokmon cards, they are trading cards... Or do they still do those football sticker books? Ok they're stickers but for the purpose of the script just make them trading cards


I thought of football stickers too.  But again, you can't trade them really for money.  

I do feel alienated.  Can't relate to this one.


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jayrex
Posted: June 22nd, 2019, 4:18am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from LC
Hmm, there's all kinds of trading cards. Are they the same as collectible cards? Look at Wiki and there's a bunch totally unrelated to U.S. sports -  different cultures, different cards.

https://www.thetoptens.com/top-trading-card-games/

Do trading card games count? E.g.Yu-Gi-Oh, Pokemon??
I think this needs clarifying.


These ones seem like children's cards.  I think I might skip this round.


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LC
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Yu-Gi-Oh is played by adults, as is Pokemon I do believe.

I do feel like you though, jayrex.  Out of my element.  


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Scar Tissue Films
Posted: June 22nd, 2019, 4:29am Report to Moderator
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BTW Blondie.. Due to the unpleasantness on here, I no longer wish to leave any reviews till after the scoring is complete. Is this acceptable?
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Warren
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Quoted from LC


I do feel like you though, jayrex.  Out of my element.  


Me three. I might be out this round. Hopefully I can bring it home with a cracking Sci-Fi in the final round. And by home I mean top 5, I'd be happy with that considering the quality of writers taking part.

Good luck all. If something comes to me I'll write it but this one feels beyond me.



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Matthew Taylor
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Quoted from jayrex


I thought of football stickers too.  But again, you can't trade them really for money.  

I do feel alienated.  Can't relate to this one.


Trading cards are traded with each other, not just for money. Don't over think it, you could take LC's advice and invent your own


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stevie
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I too was gonna sit this out  but I had an idea    Then it didnt like it so no entry was back on the agenda   Then I had a better idea and Im off!

Waz, jayrex  Lib   Just use a football or baseball card thats worth heaps then write a story about it!!!  Google what they are    Look on eBay for inspiration Jesus wheres ya get up and go?

Im at work on my birthday and Im writing in my head even as I stack drinks on the Woolies shelves!!!!




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LC
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Quoted from Scar Tissue Films
BTW Blondie.. Due to the unpleasantness on here, I no longer wish to leave any reviews till after the scoring is complete. Is this acceptable?

Personally I like your reviews, Rick. You add entertainment and liveliness, and often add valuable input and analysis.



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jayrex
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Quoted from Scar Tissue Films
BTW Blondie.. Due to the unpleasantness on here, I no longer wish to leave any reviews till after the scoring is complete. Is this acceptable?


To me your reviews are fine.


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Scar Tissue Films
Posted: June 22nd, 2019, 5:25am Report to Moderator
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I'd rather just score the scripts, if it's possible. Then leave feedback once it's over.
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khamanna
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Lol, trade card, Sean is getting trickier.

I participate in those because they give me ideas for later features. But nothing good will ever come out of me about action in church.
Plus you dont want to read the kind of action that came to my mind.
So I wont write this time either.
Which means you people have to do a better job as theres no one to have your back.

I'm seriously thinking about sex in a sewer for a feature.

Hey, Happy Birthday, Sean! Thanks for everything!
Stevie, Happy Birthday to you, too! Have a good one!

this is probably not the thread for it.
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khamanna
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I wonder how many will start with "forgive me farther for I have sinned"
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ghost and_ghostie gal
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Mmmmm.. if writers can drop out, surely some can drop in...or maybe not.-Andrea


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khamanna
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Mmmmm.. if writers can drop out, surely some can drop in...or maybe not.-Andrea


Lol, Andrea. I noticed you started reading and liking this whole thing. Maybe we can work out a deal of dropping out and in and talk to Sean or something.
Only my ratings suck if you decide to take my place.
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FrankM
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Quoted from LC
Hmm, there's all kinds of trading cards. Are they the same as collectible cards? Look at Wiki and there's a bunch totally unrelated to U.S. sports -  different cultures, different cards.

https://www.thetoptens.com/top-trading-card-games/

Do trading card games count? E.g.Yu-Gi-Oh, Pokemon??
I think this needs clarifying.

Edit: Also, is it out of bounds to have fictional trading cards, invent your own?


Id give the criteria points for something like that, but itd be good to hear from Sean on it. They get really obscure after the top three or so.

Beyblades are popular with elementary school kids right now, but theyre not cards, so Id stay away from that one. Same thing with Pogs, Dragon Dice, and other toys that fill a trading-card-type niche.


Feature-length scripts:
Who Wants to Be a Princess? (Family)
Glass House (Horror anthology)

TV pilots:
"Kord" (Fantasy)
"Mal Suerte" (Superhero)

Additional scripts are listed here.
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ghost and_ghostie gal
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Quoted from khamanna


Lol, Andrea. I noticed you started reading and liking this whole thing. Maybe we can work out a deal of dropping out and in and talk to Sean or something.
Only my ratings suck if you decide to take my place.


Haha!  Khamanna, mine would probably be worse... we'll just wait until the next OWC.  Thanks a bunch.




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Gary in Houston
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You can come up with trading cards for pretty much anything athletes, super heroes, Pokmon, politicians, actors, etc.  and this is fiction, so make up your own type of trading cards if youre stuck. And Im guessing the parameters, just like the last challenge, can be bent some, I.e., it doesnt have to be 100% in the church. It can take place in another location as well as long as the church factors in predominantly.


An utterly mediocre writer who somehow still falls bass ackwards into getting some of his scripts produced.
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Mr. Blonde
Posted: June 22nd, 2019, 7:37am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from stevie
Cheers Blondie   Happy birthday too! And to me lol


Thank you, Stevie. Happy birthday to you, too.


Quoted from LC
Ooh, Blondie is still alive. Yay!

Second, can someone please clarify what they believe constitutes Action.

I get:

Action film with a fast-moving plot, usually containing scenes of violence, it is a film genre in which one or more heroes are put into a series of challenges that typically include physical threats, extended fight scenes, violence, and frantic chases

I don't know about chasing someone around a pulpit, however DaVinci Code comes to mind...

I don't think I've ever written an action script.


I guess that's a perspective thing. As for action, think lots of prose and limited dialogue and fast-paced.


Quoted from jayrex
Are we talking about things like baseball cards?


Those kinds of cards are acceptable. But, they're not the only kind of trading cards in existence. Some of the best trading cards don't exist, yet...


Quoted from Matthew Taylor
Top Trumps wouldn't count as you don't trade them. Think like Pokmon cards, they are trading cards... Or do they still do those football sticker books? Ok they're stickers but for the purpose of the script just make them trading cards


Pokemon is a kind of trading card. Sticker books don't count.


Quoted from LC
Hmm, there's all kinds of trading cards. Are they the same as collectible cards? Look at Wiki and there's a bunch totally unrelated to U.S. sports -  different cultures, different cards.

Do trading card games count? E.g.Yu-Gi-Oh, Pokemon??

Edit: Also, is it out of bounds to have fictional trading cards, invent your own?


Yes. Yes. No.


Quoted from Scar Tissue Films
BTW Blondie.. Due to the unpleasantness on here, I no longer wish to leave any reviews till after the scoring is complete. Is this acceptable?


Unfortunate that it came to that, but yes, it's acceptable.


Quoted from khamanna
But nothing good will ever come out of me about action in church.
Plus you dont want to read the kind of action that came to my mind.
So I wont write this time either.
Which means you people have to do a better job as theres no one to have your back.

Hey, Happy Birthday, Sean! Thanks for everything!
Stevie, Happy Birthday to you, too! Have a good one!


A script will come out of it...? And, thank you, Khamanna.


Mmmmm.. if writers can drop out, surely some can drop in...or maybe not.-Andrea


Kind of. You can write a script, Andrea, but it will be entered out of competition. If you want to do that, the option is open for you.



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LC
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.. we'll just wait until the next OWC.  Thanks a bunch.

Andrea, I think the next OWC is slated for July (probably end of the month due to the tournament, and obviously Don will confirm later) so I'm already looking forward to reading yours!  


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FrankM
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So it is out of bounds to have a fictional trading card system?

There goes my idea of a bunch of athletes fighting over an Eight-Year-Old Boy Card


Feature-length scripts:
Who Wants to Be a Princess? (Family)
Glass House (Horror anthology)

TV pilots:
"Kord" (Fantasy)
"Mal Suerte" (Superhero)

Additional scripts are listed here.
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LC
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Sean,  your last answer to mine was: Yes.Yes.Yes. But I actually asked if it would be out of bounds... Your answer was slightly ambiguous, to me at least.

So, for me and for others, can I confirm that yes, it is okay to invent your own cards for the purpose of this challenge?

I see Frank wants to know too.  


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Mr. Blonde
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I had misread your question. Coming up with your own trading cards for the story is perfectly fine.


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LC
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Ooh, ok, cool. Thank you.


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Scar Tissue Films
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I've learned a lot from this tournament.

Round two taught me that if you give ten men a whistle, at least three of them will stick it up their arse.

Round three taught me that if you can only take one item with you on a desert island, make sure its hand sanitiser.

What do we think we'll learn in round 4?
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Gary in Houston
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Quoted from Scar Tissue Films
I've learned a lot from this tournament.

Round two taught me that if you give ten men a whistle, at least three of them will stick it up their arse.

Round three taught me that if you can only take one item with you on a desert island, make sure its hand sanitiser.

What do we think we'll learn in round 4?


That priests are probably going to abuse young boys in possession of trading cards, unless saved by Indiana Jones.


An utterly mediocre writer who somehow still falls bass ackwards into getting some of his scripts produced.
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khamanna
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Quoted from Gary in Houston


That priests are probably going to abuse young boys in possession of trading cards, unless saved by Indiana Jones.


Lol.

On an unrelated subject--

Sean, what about mosque and synagogue?
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LC
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Kham, that's fine. Sean stipulated (place of worship) as an addendum to Church.

Location: Church (Place of Worship).


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Zack
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Quoted from Gary in Houston


That priests are probably going to abuse young boys in possession of trading cards, unless saved by Indiana Jones.


God dammit, Gary. Now I have to scrap what I've got and start fresh.

Hey Sean, how much longer do we have to read and vote for round 3?



An example of my writing...

FOR SATAN - short, horror, 14 pgs (revised draft) - A group of thrill-seekers explore a creepy old house on Halloween night. Think you know this story? Think again.
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khamanna
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Quoted from LC
Kham, that's fine. Sean stipulated (place of worship) as an addendum to Church.

Location: Church (Place of Worship).


Oh, good. Thank you, Lib.
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Mr. Blonde
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Quoted from Zack
Hey Sean, how much longer do we have to read and vote for round 3?


Almost exactly 2 and a half days.


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Quoted from Scar Tissue Films
I've learned a lot from this tournament.

Round two taught me that if you give ten men a whistle, at least three of them will stick it up their arse.

Round three taught me that if you can only take one item with you on a desert island, make sure its hand sanitiser.

What do we think we'll learn in round 4?


Made me laugh - thanks.





My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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Zack
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Quoted from Mr. Blonde


Almost exactly 2 and a half days.


Sweet. Thanks, Dude.


An example of my writing...

FOR SATAN - short, horror, 14 pgs (revised draft) - A group of thrill-seekers explore a creepy old house on Halloween night. Think you know this story? Think again.
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jayrex
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Ive surprised myself.  I think Ive figured out a story.

Im actually looking forward to this.


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DustinBowcot
Posted: June 22nd, 2019, 1:54pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from jayrex
Ive surprised myself.  I think Ive figured out a story.

Im actually looking forward to this.


I love this stage of the story-making process... the high when inspiration hits. It's really like nothing else - aside from finishing a highly polished script.

Often though, of course, the high is short-lived as we crash into the realisation that our idea is actually total shite.
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Zack
Posted: June 22nd, 2019, 2:22pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from DustinBowcot


Often though, of course, the high is short-lived as we crash into the realisation that our idea is actually total shite.


It's a vicious cycle. Lol


An example of my writing...

FOR SATAN - short, horror, 14 pgs (revised draft) - A group of thrill-seekers explore a creepy old house on Halloween night. Think you know this story? Think again.
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Scar Tissue Films
Posted: June 22nd, 2019, 2:34pm Report to Moderator
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I swear I used to be able to write super short stories.

Now, I set the scene, write a character description and I'm already pushing 6 pages. Fucking hell. When I saw that 5 page rule I thought it would be easy, but it's actually harder than a longer allowance.
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leitskev
Posted: June 22nd, 2019, 3:20pm Report to Moderator
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I knew I would not be able to do 5 pages. My annoying reviews are 5 pages!
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DustinBowcot
Posted: June 22nd, 2019, 4:13pm Report to Moderator
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Avoid too much dialogue. With only five pages, the action needs to do most of the talking. It would perhaps be fairer if there was a word count opposed to page count.

Anyway, I always go way over and then just chop and chop back. Last OWC my first draft was 14 pages and I got it down to 8.
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PKCardinal
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Quoted from Gary in Houston


That priests are probably going to abuse young boys in possession of trading cards, unless saved by Indiana Jones.


I see the meds are kicking in.


PaulKWrites.com

60 Feet Under - Low budget, contained thriller/Feature
The Hand of God - Low budget, semi-contained thriller/Feature
Wait Till Next Year - Disney-style family sports comedy/Feature

Many shorts available for production: comedy, thriller, drama, light horror
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Gary in Houston
Posted: June 22nd, 2019, 6:11pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from PKCardinal


I see the meds are kicking in.


I'm going to double the dosage for writing the script.


An utterly mediocre writer who somehow still falls bass ackwards into getting some of his scripts produced.
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ReneC
Posted: June 22nd, 2019, 7:31pm Report to Moderator
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I'm still waiting for the right idea to strike. No problem with the setting, and action is easy. Trading cards? I love trading card games, I've owned (and still own) a bunch of trading cards, but how to make them integral to the story...

Hand sanitizer has uses beyond just anti-bacterial properties. But trading cards are a one trick pony, they only have one purpose.

They suck as stakes. In 5 pages it takes a lot to make us care about cards we know or care nothing about. And tempting as it is to go full Bullseye and have an assassin killing people with trading cards, this board would shred that apart on believability. (Sorry if I just rained on someone's idea, but maybe I did you a favour.)

Hmm...still thinking...


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ReneC
Posted: June 22nd, 2019, 7:33pm Report to Moderator
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And just like that, an idea strikes.


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LC
Posted: June 22nd, 2019, 7:36pm Report to Moderator
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Don, when you can, could you put up a Round 4 Countdown clock please?

Otherwise I'm lulled into a false sense of security.


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Dreamscale
Posted: June 22nd, 2019, 7:43pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from DustinBowcot
I love this stage of the story-making process... the high when inspiration hits. It's really like nothing else -


Dustin, c'mon, brother!  There are better highs, and they are very easily obtainable...as long as you have some Blue Dream handy.  

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ReneC
Posted: June 22nd, 2019, 7:50pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Dreamscale


Dustin, c'mon, brother!  There are better highs, and they are very easily obtainable...as long as you have some Blue Dream handy.  



Hahaha...can't argue with that.


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FrankM
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Quoted from ReneC
And just like that, an idea strikes.


I have an idea. It's at least as terrible as my previous rounds' ideas.


Feature-length scripts:
Who Wants to Be a Princess? (Family)
Glass House (Horror anthology)

TV pilots:
"Kord" (Fantasy)
"Mal Suerte" (Superhero)

Additional scripts are listed here.
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LC
Posted: June 23rd, 2019, 12:39am Report to Moderator
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Notice how quiet Warren is?

Of course by his own admission he's out this next round...

More like concocting his next Opus.  


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Warren
Posted: June 23rd, 2019, 2:42am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from LC
Notice how quiet Warren is?

Of course by his own admission he's out this next round...

More like concocting his next Opus.  


I'm quiet because I've been doing some soul searching after putting quite possibly the worst script to paper I've ever written. I just look at it and it makes my eyes hurt and bleed a little.

I can honestly say I hate action. I enjoy watching them, but for the life of me I have no idea why anyone would want to write one. I actually fell asleep halfway through writing it, I mean come on!

Anyway, I'll be in, it's terrible but I'll be in.


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DustinBowcot
Posted: June 23rd, 2019, 2:56am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Warren


I'm quiet because I've been doing some soul searching after putting quite possibly the worst script to paper I've ever written. I just look at it and it makes my eyes hurt and bleed a little.

I can honestly say I hate action. I enjoy watching them, but for the life of me I have no idea why anyone would want to write one. I actually fell asleep halfway through writing it, I mean come on!

Anyway, I'll be in, it's terrible but I'll be in.


I enjoy writing action... even though I know the fight choreography will be sorted out later by professionals. The trick is not to use too much, but also not to write too little. Simply writing 'They fight. John wins but Jack escapes.' is pretty much all that is really needed in a script... but that's very boring to read.

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Scar Tissue Films
Posted: June 23rd, 2019, 3:05am Report to Moderator
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When is the deadline?
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LC
Posted: June 23rd, 2019, 4:48am Report to Moderator
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Not sure, Rick, though I know we've got over twenty-four hours.

Don will hopefully put the countdown clock up soon. Hopefully...  


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LC
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Quoted from Warren


I'm quiet because I've been doing some soul searching after putting quite possibly the worst script to paper I've ever written. I just look at it and it makes my eyes hurt and bleed a little.

I can honestly say I hate action. I enjoy watching them, but for the life of me I have no idea why anyone would want to write one. I actually fell asleep halfway through writing it, I mean come on!

Anyway, I'll be in, it's terrible but I'll be in.

Not fond of it myself. I'm pretty sure you'll equip yourself well. Fell asleep halfway through...  


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jayrex
Posted: June 23rd, 2019, 5:41am Report to Moderator
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I think I've finished.

I'll probably be murdered.  

But if pray, hopefully God will hear me.


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jayrex
Posted: June 23rd, 2019, 5:42am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from DustinBowcot


I love this stage of the story-making process... the high when inspiration hits. It's really like nothing else - aside from finishing a highly polished script.

Often though, of course, the high is short-lived as we crash into the realisation that our idea is actually total shite.


You're right & right.


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eldave1
Posted: June 23rd, 2019, 11:17am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from DustinBowcot


I enjoy writing action... even though I know the fight choreography will be sorted out later by professionals. The trick is not to use too much, but also not to write too little. Simply writing 'They fight. John wins but Jack escapes.' is pretty much all that is really needed in a script... but that's very boring to read.



I don't enjoy writing action - and not very good at. I enjoy reading it and agree with you on the sweet spot. Too much detail and it's tedious. Too little and it's pointless.

The Church setting sure presents an interesting action setting. I think it will be tough.


My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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Scar Tissue Films
Posted: June 23rd, 2019, 11:23am Report to Moderator
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I downloaded a lot of the Pro action scripts on here to see how they did it.

There's an awful lot of:

Bam! He smashes through the door!

Tatatatat gunfire sprays wildy!


The sort of stuff people really hate on here, but makes sense to me in these kind of scripts.
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Matthew Taylor
Posted: June 23rd, 2019, 11:35am Report to Moderator
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4th round and I've officially ran out of creativity... Bugger


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PKCardinal
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Quoted from eldave1


I don't enjoy writing action - and not very good at. I enjoy reading it and agree with you on the sweet spot. Too much detail and it's tedious. Too little and it's pointless.

The Church setting sure presents an interesting action setting. I think it will be tough.


Agreed on the writing action thing. Never really done it. Don't see how I'll be any good at it.

As for the church, I hate complaining about the parameters... they're what put the challenge in the exercise... but, I'm with others that wish to get a couple (I don't expect 5) filmable shorts out of the tourney... and, getting someone to agree to use of their church for an action short seems especially difficult.

So, I'm either going to write something I know can't be filmed (which I've already done a couple of times this tourney) or, I'll have to walk the line on whether the church plays a big enough role, or if there's enough action. It's a tough spot and I wish I didn't have to make that particular compromise.


PaulKWrites.com

60 Feet Under - Low budget, contained thriller/Feature
The Hand of God - Low budget, semi-contained thriller/Feature
Wait Till Next Year - Disney-style family sports comedy/Feature

Many shorts available for production: comedy, thriller, drama, light horror
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Scar Tissue Films
Posted: June 23rd, 2019, 11:54am Report to Moderator
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Just focus on getting the basic premise right. The location can be changed to anywhere.
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Matthew Taylor
Posted: June 23rd, 2019, 12:15pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from PKCardinal


Agreed on the writing action thing. Never really done it. Don't see how I'll be any good at it.

As for the church, I hate complaining about the parameters... they're what put the challenge in the exercise... but, I'm with others that wish to get a couple (I don't expect 5) filmable shorts out of the tourney... and, getting someone to agree to use of their church for an action short seems especially difficult.

So, I'm either going to write something I know can't be filmed (which I've already done a couple of times this tourney) or, I'll have to walk the line on whether the church plays a big enough role, or if there's enough action. It's a tough spot and I wish I didn't have to make that particular compromise.


Churchs come in all shapes and sizes, think tiny wooden built shack church and your got a cheaper set... Plus the action doesn't have to take place in the church.

I'm trying to go about this in the same way, writing a useable short. You got this PK


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PKCardinal
Posted: June 23rd, 2019, 12:18pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Matthew Taylor


Churchs come in all shapes and sizes, think tiny wooden built shack church and your got a cheaper set... Plus the action doesn't have to take place in the church.

I'm trying to go about this in the same way, writing a useable short. You got this PK


Thanks, Mathew! I've been kicking an idea around since Friday. i think it'll work, but won't know until I start writing... which happens now. Fingers crossed.


PaulKWrites.com

60 Feet Under - Low budget, contained thriller/Feature
The Hand of God - Low budget, semi-contained thriller/Feature
Wait Till Next Year - Disney-style family sports comedy/Feature

Many shorts available for production: comedy, thriller, drama, light horror
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DustinBowcot
Posted: June 23rd, 2019, 12:19pm Report to Moderator
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A church can be any building used for Christian worship.
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PKCardinal
Posted: June 23rd, 2019, 12:36pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from DustinBowcot
A church can be any building used for Christian worship.


That's an interesting point. Some churches in my area are high school gyms during the week.


PaulKWrites.com

60 Feet Under - Low budget, contained thriller/Feature
The Hand of God - Low budget, semi-contained thriller/Feature
Wait Till Next Year - Disney-style family sports comedy/Feature

Many shorts available for production: comedy, thriller, drama, light horror
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Scar Tissue Films
Posted: June 23rd, 2019, 12:52pm Report to Moderator
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Is the deadline tonight?

I'm totally lost for the time..
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eldave1
Posted: June 23rd, 2019, 12:57pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from DustinBowcot
A church can be any building used for Christian worship.


I'd probably frown upon someone who took this to the extreme.

e.g., Mass held in a sewer with bobble head altar boys.

PS. I thought the criteria was expanded to include place of worship. i.e., didn't need to be Christian.


My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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Zack
Posted: June 23rd, 2019, 12:58pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Scar Tissue Films
Is the deadline tonight?

I'm totally lost for the time..


Ditto. Haven't even started writing yet. AND I've got a couple more round 3 scripts to read.

BTW, it seems like for the most part people have stopped reading the round 3 scripts. Shame, cuz there seems to be a big gap in reviews between them. Most seem to have about twenty reviews, but there are a couple that haven't reached 17 reviews yet. I wonder how that will affect the scoring on those scripts that didn't get as many views...


An example of my writing...

FOR SATAN - short, horror, 14 pgs (revised draft) - A group of thrill-seekers explore a creepy old house on Halloween night. Think you know this story? Think again.

Revision History (1 edits)
Zack  -  June 23rd, 2019, 1:11pm
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Scar Tissue Films
Posted: June 23rd, 2019, 1:25pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Zack


Ditto. Haven't even started writing tonight. AND I've got a couple more round 3 scripts to read.

BTW, it seems like for the most part people have stopped reading the round 3 scripts. Shame, cuz there seems to be a big gap in reviews between them. Most seem to have about twenty reviews, but there are a couple that haven't reached 17 reviews yet. I wonder how that will affect the scoring on those scripts that didn't get as many views...


I think the deadline is Tuesday at 4:00 am for me
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Zack
Posted: June 23rd, 2019, 1:26pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Scar Tissue Films


I think the deadline is Tuesday at 4:00 am for me


What time zone are you in, Rick?


An example of my writing...

FOR SATAN - short, horror, 14 pgs (revised draft) - A group of thrill-seekers explore a creepy old house on Halloween night. Think you know this story? Think again.
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DustinBowcot
Posted: June 23rd, 2019, 1:38pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from eldave1


I'd probably frown upon someone who took this to the extreme.

e.g., Mass held in a sewer with bobble head altar boys.


I'd be fine with it.... the bobbleheads is a bit of a stretch, but in a sewer might be OK if set in a dystopian future.



Quoted from eldave1

PS. I thought the criteria was expanded to include place of worship. i.e., didn't need to be Christian.


That's a good idea. Somebody is bound to pick a rare religion though like a Zoroastrianism fire temple, for example. Buddhist temples seem an obvious choice for some Kung Fu action.
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FrankM
Posted: June 23rd, 2019, 2:14pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from eldave1


I'd probably frown upon someone who took this to the extreme.

e.g., Mass held in a sewer with bobble head altar boys.

PS. I thought the criteria was expanded to include place of worship. i.e., didn't need to be Christian.


You forgot the hand sanitizer. You don't want to know where some of those bobbleheads have been.


Feature-length scripts:
Who Wants to Be a Princess? (Family)
Glass House (Horror anthology)

TV pilots:
"Kord" (Fantasy)
"Mal Suerte" (Superhero)

Additional scripts are listed here.
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eldave1
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Quoted from DustinBowcot


I'd be fine with it.... the bobbleheads is a bit of a stretch, but in a sewer might be OK if set in a dystopian future.




That's a good idea. Somebody is bound to pick a rare religion though like a Zoroastrianism fire temple, for example. Buddhist temples seem an obvious choice for some Kung Fu action.


That is a good idea!


My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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eldave1
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Quoted from FrankM


You forgot the hand sanitizer. You don't want to know where some of those bobbleheads have been.


And the whistle!


My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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Gary in Houston
Posted: June 23rd, 2019, 2:46pm Report to Moderator
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"The First Sewer Church of New York City, The Reverend Dr. Jeffrey Bush, psychiatrist and noted script critic, presiding.  Bobbleheads of all faiths welcome. Hand sanitizer provided.  No trading cards allowed, as this is rather silly."


An utterly mediocre writer who somehow still falls bass ackwards into getting some of his scripts produced.
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leitskev
Posted: June 23rd, 2019, 3:04pm Report to Moderator
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Votes in, thanks for letting me play, Sean! I'm out now, but nothing to do with the criteria. I need to get back to other work. I talked to Dena last week, and told her I was going to drop, she wanted to take my spot. She was going to message Sean, not sure if she did.

Anyway, thanks!
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PKCardinal
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Quoted from leitskev
Votes in, thanks for letting me play, Sean! I'm out now, but nothing to do with the criteria. I need to get back to other work. I talked to Dena last week, and told her I was going to drop, she wanted to take my spot. She was going to message Sean, not sure if she did.

Anyway, thanks!


Ooh, I hope she did. The more the merrier!


PaulKWrites.com

60 Feet Under - Low budget, contained thriller/Feature
The Hand of God - Low budget, semi-contained thriller/Feature
Wait Till Next Year - Disney-style family sports comedy/Feature

Many shorts available for production: comedy, thriller, drama, light horror
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PKCardinal
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Quoted from Gary in Houston
"The First Sewer Church of New York City, The Reverend Dr. Jeffrey Bush, psychiatrist and noted script critic, presiding.  Bobbleheads of all faiths welcome. Hand sanitizer provided.  No trading cards allowed, as this is rather silly."


I laughed, and I'm not even on opioids.


PaulKWrites.com

60 Feet Under - Low budget, contained thriller/Feature
The Hand of God - Low budget, semi-contained thriller/Feature
Wait Till Next Year - Disney-style family sports comedy/Feature

Many shorts available for production: comedy, thriller, drama, light horror
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Zack
Posted: June 23rd, 2019, 3:52pm Report to Moderator
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I know this round is action, but every idea I've had thus far has humorous aspects. How much will I be dinged for submitting an action/comedy? A serious action short with the parameters of this round would be brutal to write.

I blame Sean for my new-found funny bone, BTW. After round 2, my mind has been stuck in the gutter(sewer?). Lots of comedy seeped into my round 3 script, but most of you seemed to enjoy it.


An example of my writing...

FOR SATAN - short, horror, 14 pgs (revised draft) - A group of thrill-seekers explore a creepy old house on Halloween night. Think you know this story? Think again.
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PKCardinal
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Quoted from Zack
I know this round is action, but every idea I've had thus far has humorous aspects. How much will I be dinged for submitting an action/comedy? A serious action short with the parameters of this round would be brutal to write.

I blame Sean for my new-found funny bone, BTW. After round 2, my mind has been stuck in the gutter(sewer?). Lots of comedy seeped into my round 3 script, but most of you seemed to enjoy it.


Wouldn't be dinged in my book. Action Comedy is still action.


PaulKWrites.com

60 Feet Under - Low budget, contained thriller/Feature
The Hand of God - Low budget, semi-contained thriller/Feature
Wait Till Next Year - Disney-style family sports comedy/Feature

Many shorts available for production: comedy, thriller, drama, light horror
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PKCardinal
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BTW, just finished my first draft. EASILY the worst script I've written so far.

Let's see if rewrites can save it. Not gonna restart, so, this may turn into a survival round. But, that means I might be cooked with only one week to recover.

Ugh. Action to me is like Newman is to Seinfeld.


PaulKWrites.com

60 Feet Under - Low budget, contained thriller/Feature
The Hand of God - Low budget, semi-contained thriller/Feature
Wait Till Next Year - Disney-style family sports comedy/Feature

Many shorts available for production: comedy, thriller, drama, light horror
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Matthew Taylor
Posted: June 23rd, 2019, 4:10pm Report to Moderator
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Obviously can't speak for others - But I wouldn't mark you down either, as long as the action genre is clear


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stevie
Posted: June 23rd, 2019, 4:29pm Report to Moderator
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As long as the dialogue is the comedy bit   Dont have slapstick action



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Zack
Posted: June 23rd, 2019, 4:38pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from stevie
As long as the dialogue is the comedy bit   Don't have slapstick action


That seems fair.


An example of my writing...

FOR SATAN - short, horror, 14 pgs (revised draft) - A group of thrill-seekers explore a creepy old house on Halloween night. Think you know this story? Think again.
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stevie
Posted: June 23rd, 2019, 4:48pm Report to Moderator
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But then what is the pure def of action?   Does it require deaths?  Or just fighting and stuff?  It doesnt matter lol    We let all the comedy scripts through in Rd 2 when practically none were funny so go for it Zachary my good man



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Zack
Posted: June 23rd, 2019, 4:51pm Report to Moderator
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I was just thinking about that. One of my favorite action movies is Aliens, which also has heavy horror/sci-fi aspects to it. As long as there is a lot of actual action, it'll meet the criteria for me.

Alright, I've got an idea and I'm running with it.

This is your fault, Sean.


An example of my writing...

FOR SATAN - short, horror, 14 pgs (revised draft) - A group of thrill-seekers explore a creepy old house on Halloween night. Think you know this story? Think again.
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Matthew Taylor
Posted: June 23rd, 2019, 4:51pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from stevie
But then what is the pure def of action?   Does it require deaths?  Or just fighting and stuff?  It doesnt matter lol    We let all the comedy scripts through in Rd 2 when practically none were funny so go for it Zachary my good man


If it doesn't contain a martial art then it's not action - A big fat N in criteria for all scripts that do not contain a martial art  


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Zack
Posted: June 23rd, 2019, 4:53pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Matthew Taylor


If it doesn't contain a martial art then it's not action - A big fat N in criteria for all scripts that do not contain a martial art  


What about Terminator? Lots of sci-fi and even a little horror, but not even a smidge of martial arts.


An example of my writing...

FOR SATAN - short, horror, 14 pgs (revised draft) - A group of thrill-seekers explore a creepy old house on Halloween night. Think you know this story? Think again.
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FrankM
Posted: June 23rd, 2019, 4:56pm Report to Moderator
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Remember when I said comedy and horror arent really my thing?

Im adding action to that list  


Feature-length scripts:
Who Wants to Be a Princess? (Family)
Glass House (Horror anthology)

TV pilots:
"Kord" (Fantasy)
"Mal Suerte" (Superhero)

Additional scripts are listed here.
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Gary in Houston
Posted: June 23rd, 2019, 4:56pm Report to Moderator
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my script is gonna get DQ'd for sure.  Or at least a lot of 1's.  Hooray for opiods!


An utterly mediocre writer who somehow still falls bass ackwards into getting some of his scripts produced.
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stevie
Posted: June 23rd, 2019, 4:57pm Report to Moderator
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Yeah good point about Terminator  

Jaws is technically an action/adventure/thriller film but its usually classed as horror sometimes lol



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Zack
Posted: June 23rd, 2019, 4:59pm Report to Moderator
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What about natural disaster flicks like Armeggedon, Dante's Peak, and 2012? Those are considered action, right?


An example of my writing...

FOR SATAN - short, horror, 14 pgs (revised draft) - A group of thrill-seekers explore a creepy old house on Halloween night. Think you know this story? Think again.
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Matthew Taylor
Posted: June 23rd, 2019, 5:00pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Zack


What about Terminator? Lots of sci-fi and even a little horror, but not even a smidge of martial arts.


Yeah, and if James Cameron entered that non-martial art monstrosity into this tournament, he would get a big fat N from me  


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Zack
Posted: June 23rd, 2019, 5:02pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Gary in Houston
my script is gonna get DQ'd for sure.  Or at least a lot of 1's.  Hooray for opiods!


You're opioide-induced writing will be legendary. Triple the dosage, Gary. Get weird with it.


An example of my writing...

FOR SATAN - short, horror, 14 pgs (revised draft) - A group of thrill-seekers explore a creepy old house on Halloween night. Think you know this story? Think again.
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Zack
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Quoted from Matthew Taylor


Yeah, and if James Cameron entered that non-martial art monstrosity into this tournament, he would get a big fat N from me  


Damn. Your standards are more brutal than Jeff's.


An example of my writing...

FOR SATAN - short, horror, 14 pgs (revised draft) - A group of thrill-seekers explore a creepy old house on Halloween night. Think you know this story? Think again.
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Matthew Taylor
Posted: June 23rd, 2019, 5:10pm Report to Moderator
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Action movies don't need plots, right?

I can just chuck in ninja priests, crucifix ninja death stars, holy grail nunchucks and have them fight atheists... right?


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PKCardinal
Posted: June 23rd, 2019, 5:26pm Report to Moderator
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Plots?

We don't need no stinkin' plots.


PaulKWrites.com

60 Feet Under - Low budget, contained thriller/Feature
The Hand of God - Low budget, semi-contained thriller/Feature
Wait Till Next Year - Disney-style family sports comedy/Feature

Many shorts available for production: comedy, thriller, drama, light horror
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ReneC
Posted: June 23rd, 2019, 5:41pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Zack


Ditto. Haven't even started writing yet. AND I've got a couple more round 3 scripts to read.

BTW, it seems like for the most part people have stopped reading the round 3 scripts. Shame, cuz there seems to be a big gap in reviews between them. Most seem to have about twenty reviews, but there are a couple that haven't reached 17 reviews yet. I wonder how that will affect the scoring on those scripts that didn't get as many views...


I still have a few round 3 scripts to read and review for. I usually catch up on Monday before going through my next submission one last time.


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Zack
Posted: June 23rd, 2019, 5:52pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from ReneC


I still have a few round 3 scripts to read and review for. I usually catch up on Monday before going through my next submission one last time.


I'm in the same boat, Dude. I plan on knocking a bunch out tomorrow.


An example of my writing...

FOR SATAN - short, horror, 14 pgs (revised draft) - A group of thrill-seekers explore a creepy old house on Halloween night. Think you know this story? Think again.
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Mr. Blonde
Posted: June 23rd, 2019, 5:58pm Report to Moderator
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A few notes. If Don doesn't put up a clock, it's still all good. You've still got about one day and 5 hours left to go. Dena hasn't been in contact with me, yet. Action-comedy is still action. Action doesn't necessarily mean martial arts. Did I miss anything else? I think I covered the basics


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Zack
Posted: June 23rd, 2019, 5:59pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Mr. Blonde
Did I miss anything else? I think I covered the basics


What do you think of my new nipple tassels? Do they bring out the color of my eyes?


An example of my writing...

FOR SATAN - short, horror, 14 pgs (revised draft) - A group of thrill-seekers explore a creepy old house on Halloween night. Think you know this story? Think again.
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PKCardinal
Posted: June 23rd, 2019, 6:05pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Mr. Blonde
A few notes. If Don doesn't put up a clock, it's still all good. You've still got about one day and 5 hours left to go. Dena hasn't been in contact with me, yet. Action-comedy is still action. Action doesn't necessarily mean martial arts. Did I miss anything else? I think I covered the basics


Are there plans for an updated leaderboard this round?


PaulKWrites.com

60 Feet Under - Low budget, contained thriller/Feature
The Hand of God - Low budget, semi-contained thriller/Feature
Wait Till Next Year - Disney-style family sports comedy/Feature

Many shorts available for production: comedy, thriller, drama, light horror
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Mr. Blonde
Posted: June 23rd, 2019, 6:24pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Zack
What do you think of my new nipple tassels? Do they bring out the color of my eyes?


They don't.


Quoted from PKCardinal
Are there plans for an updated leaderboard this round?


That's the plan, but if it doesn't come to fruition, the most important thing for me is to make sure I have accurate results for all five rounds within a few days after round 5 voting. That's the goal.


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FrankM
Posted: June 23rd, 2019, 6:32pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Mr. Blonde
That's the plan, but if it doesn't come to fruition, the most important thing for me is to make sure I have accurate results for all five rounds within a few days after round 5 voting. That's the goal.


Well, theres someone who shall remain nameless whod like to get out of the bottom slot of the standing  


Feature-length scripts:
Who Wants to Be a Princess? (Family)
Glass House (Horror anthology)

TV pilots:
"Kord" (Fantasy)
"Mal Suerte" (Superhero)

Additional scripts are listed here.
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Zack
Posted: June 23rd, 2019, 6:34pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from FrankM


Well, there's someone who shall remain nameless who'd like to get out of the bottom slot of the standing  


You're the foundation, Frank. Be proud!

And, Sean, I'm gonna wear them anyways.


An example of my writing...

FOR SATAN - short, horror, 14 pgs (revised draft) - A group of thrill-seekers explore a creepy old house on Halloween night. Think you know this story? Think again.
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Mr. Blonde
Posted: June 23rd, 2019, 6:49pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from FrankM
Well, theres someone who shall remain nameless whod like to get out of the bottom slot of the standing  


20  [REDACTED]

Hmm? =)


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Pale Yellow
Posted: June 23rd, 2019, 7:23pm Report to Moderator
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Ok... talked to Sean and I'm slipping in for the leitskev this round as long as EVERYONE is ok with it. If not, speak now or forever hold your trading card... I mean peace!!!!

Now ... let me see if I can come up with a story!
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FrankM
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Quoted from Pale Yellow
Ok... talked to Sean and I'm slipping in for the leitskev this round as long as EVERYONE is ok with it. If not, speak now or forever hold your trading card... I mean peace!!!!

Now ... let me see if I can come up with a story!


No problem whatsoever for me.

It'll give me a chance to get my Dena trading card autographed


Feature-length scripts:
Who Wants to Be a Princess? (Family)
Glass House (Horror anthology)

TV pilots:
"Kord" (Fantasy)
"Mal Suerte" (Superhero)

Additional scripts are listed here.
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Pale Yellow
Posted: June 23rd, 2019, 7:27pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from FrankM


No problem whatsoever for me.

It'll give me a chance to get my Dena trading card autographed


Hahaa... only if you will autograph mine!!!
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LC
Posted: June 23rd, 2019, 7:36pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Scar Tissue Films
I downloaded a lot of the Pro action scripts on here to see how they did it.

There's an awful lot of:

Bam! He smashes through the door!
Tatatatat gunfire sprays wildy!
The sort of stuff people really hate on here, but makes sense to me in these kind of scripts.


I noticed this too:

Collateral - great movie.

BOOOOOM! BOOOOOM! BOOOOOM! Vincent FIRES
BLAM! A MUZZLE FLASH.
WHACK! Vincent swings







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Warren
Posted: June 23rd, 2019, 7:38pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from LC


I noticed this too:

Collateral - great movie.

BOOOOOM! BOOOOOM! BOOOOOM! Vincent FIRES
BLAM! A MUZZLE FLASH.
WHACK! Vincent swings




It might be there, doesnt mean I have to like it.


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Pale Yellow
Posted: June 23rd, 2019, 8:01pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Scar Tissue Films
I'd rather just score the scripts, if it's possible. Then leave feedback once it's over.


One good thing about this suggestion is that I've often found that if a script gets ripped bad upon the first review... it usually always effects the reads. I do not look at the reviews before I read the script but I assume the first review is HARD to miss...

By scoring the scripts and after the scoring is done then posting the feedback, it would eliminate that stuff affecting or swaying reads maybe.

Good idea Rick.
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stevie
Posted: June 23rd, 2019, 8:21pm Report to Moderator
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Dena, one stipulation is you have to include the props from the first three rounds in your script for round 4:

So make sure the bobblehead uses hand sanitizer before inserting the whistle and trading card in the pilots arse as he crashes the plane into the church next to the psychiatrists office above the sewer



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Pale Yellow
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Quoted from stevie
Dena, one stipulation is you have to include the props from the first three rounds in your script for round 4:

So make sure the bobblehead uses hand sanitizer before inserting the whistle and trading card in the pilots arse as he crashes the plane into the church next to the psychiatrists office above the sewer


GOT IT. I just realized. ... I've never written action! Yikes!
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Mr. Blonde
Posted: June 23rd, 2019, 8:26pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from LC
I noticed this too:

Collateral - great movie.

BOOOOOM! BOOOOOM! BOOOOOM! Vincent FIRES
BLAM! A MUZZLE FLASH.
WHACK! Vincent swings


Michael Mann apparently got detail heavy in his old age. Much more detailed than the "Chaos ensues" on the bank shootout for Heat...


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JEStaats
Posted: June 23rd, 2019, 9:07pm Report to Moderator
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No sh*t, there I was....

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Inspiration hit me like baseball bat. Two hours later: Done!

Now to let it marinate for a little while...
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Zack
Posted: June 23rd, 2019, 9:10pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from JEStaats
Inspiration hit me like baseball bat. Two hours later: Done!

Now to let it marinate for a little while...


Hell yeah, Dude! Love the confidence. Can't wait to see what ya got.


An example of my writing...

FOR SATAN - short, horror, 14 pgs (revised draft) - A group of thrill-seekers explore a creepy old house on Halloween night. Think you know this story? Think again.
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JEStaats
Posted: June 23rd, 2019, 9:28pm Report to Moderator
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No sh*t, there I was....

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Quoted from Zack


Hell yeah, Dude! Love the confidence. Can't wait to see what ya got.


Like usual, I'm pretty f_cking psyched to see what people think. And then it's just like Dustin said, reviewers pull the curtains back to reveal the shite.

Oh, but THIS time it's going to be different... yes... this time...
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Gary in Houston
Posted: June 23rd, 2019, 9:35pm Report to Moderator
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I just re-read what I wrote. Hoo boy. What was I thinking?  Poker playing pigs in church?  Vatican priest trading cards? Donald Trump as president? None of this makes sense. The idea of writing on opioids is pretty overrated.


An utterly mediocre writer who somehow still falls bass ackwards into getting some of his scripts produced.
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LC
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Quoted from Pale Yellow
... just realized. ... I've never written action! Yikes!

Dena, just write how you did in your drug mule story, plenty of action in that one.



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Pale Yellow
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Quoted from LC

Dena, just write how you did in your drug mule story, plenty of action in that one.



OMG you make it sound so easy. I'm struggling here... 11 o'clockie and I've got two crappy pages... gonna sleep on it and maybe scrap and start over tomorrow who knows.
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LC
Posted: June 23rd, 2019, 10:14pm Report to Moderator
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At this stage I'm out of this one. I know hokey when I read it and I've not come up with anything that passes my personal ok-meter.  

Might get back in for the Sci-fi challenge.

I love the way you've organised this Sean. It means we can dip in and out and even if our scores drop we can still partake. It's not all about winning which is great.


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Warren
Posted: June 24th, 2019, 12:38am Report to Moderator
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Quick question...

Can my script feature next to a church but not necessarily in it?



Revision History (1 edits)
Warren  -  June 24th, 2019, 12:51am
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LC
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If it's a good enough story and is in the vicinity e.g. crypt, mausoleum, cemetery, then I don't see why not. I doubt you'd get dinged.  Not by me you wouldn't, anyway.


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Warren
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Quoted from LC
If it's a good enough story and is in the vicinity e.g. crypt, mausoleum, cemetery, then I don't see why not. I doubt you'd get dinged.  Not by me you wouldn't, anyway.


That really opens the gates to pretty much write anything, cheers.


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LC
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Yes, but I'm not in charge of the challenge.     

P.S. I reckon you can still 'worship' in all of those environments.


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ghost and_ghostie gal
Posted: June 24th, 2019, 12:59am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from LC
At this stage I'm out of this one. I know hokey when I read it and I've not come up with anything that passes my personal ok-meter.  

I love the way you've organised this Sean. It means we can dip in and out and even if our scores drop we can still partake. It's not all about winning which is great.


+1 trillion

Yep, we decided to stay out as well, but did write one.  Done.  It might be hokey though.     

As I was weed whacking my way back through this thread,  it seems writing action may be a teensy-weensy  bit out of some folks comfort zone.  If not, cool.  If so, then I think it's a good thing.  These challenges.  To me...pushing your own comfort zone is - not doing hackwork, but trying to find yourself in some story that isn't easy for you to write.   Not that anything is ever easy.  I think it's important to test yourself - challenge yourself, push past whatever your limits are and write something that may not be easy.   How else do we improve?  

Ugh... I'm just rambling.  Sorry.     Apply salt to taste.  Or ignore.

Look forward to reading what everyone comes up with. -Andrea



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LC
Posted: June 24th, 2019, 1:05am Report to Moderator
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It was the church/trading card elements that got me, and too big a story for five pages.

Ah well, that's my excuse anyway, Andrea.

There's still about twenty-one hours to go by me estimation, yet my ideas keep fallng flat - or hokey.  


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ghost and_ghostie gal
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Yea, the church/trading card element was difficult. I'll have to admit. but you are too modest, you have great ideas. -Andrea


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stevie
Posted: June 24th, 2019, 1:13am Report to Moderator
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Waz, just make sure the church is in the scenes or some are in the church at least. Or else whats the point of having it as the location?  

Just finished mine   Only about 8 lines to cut to make it 5 pages. Very happy with it  



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Warren
Posted: June 24th, 2019, 4:34am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from stevie
Waz, just make sure the church is in the scenes or some are in the church at least. Or else whats the point of having it as the location?  


What is the point, indeed


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FrankM
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Quoted from stevie
Waz, just make sure the church is in the scenes or some are in the church at least. Or else whats the point of having it as the location?  

Well, if the whole script is two cowboys fist-fighting on top of a runaway train, and they happen to roll past a church at one point without it impacting the story, youd probably get dinged.

But something on the grounds of a church, especially if the churchiness affects the story in some way, would be fine in my book.


Quoted from stevie
Just finished mine   Only about 8 lines to cut to make it 5 pages. Very happy with it  

Famous last words... about eight lines of em.


Feature-length scripts:
Who Wants to Be a Princess? (Family)
Glass House (Horror anthology)

TV pilots:
"Kord" (Fantasy)
"Mal Suerte" (Superhero)

Additional scripts are listed here.
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Warren
Posted: June 24th, 2019, 6:07am Report to Moderator
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Submitted. It's... something alright. Fark me!


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Matthew Taylor
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I currently have two stories in my head - One I think reviewers will like, but I doubt I will enjoy writing it - the other I think reviewers will hate, but I'm excited to write it....

Sorry reviewers, I've chosen the latter


Quoted from Warren
Submitted. It's... something alright. Fark me!


And by "something" do you mean a piece of literary genius?


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Warren
Posted: June 24th, 2019, 6:29am Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


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Quoted from Matthew Taylor


And by "something" do you mean a piece of literary genius?


Not even close. I didn't enjoy writing it and no one is going to enjoy reading it.


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FrankM
Posted: June 24th, 2019, 6:52am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Warren
Not even close. I didn't enjoy writing it and no one is going to enjoy reading it.


Well, Im glad there will be at one that no one will enjoy. That guy handles all the important issues of the day.


Feature-length scripts:
Who Wants to Be a Princess? (Family)
Glass House (Horror anthology)

TV pilots:
"Kord" (Fantasy)
"Mal Suerte" (Superhero)

Additional scripts are listed here.
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ReneC
Posted: June 24th, 2019, 10:02am Report to Moderator
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I'm struggling with too many pages this time. Action should read down the page, shorter sentences, more white space to keep the pace high for the reader. But that means being able to write less action. Having to fit a worthy action sequence in at most three pages after setting up a trading card and the denouement is really tough.


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Zack
Posted: June 24th, 2019, 10:14am Report to Moderator
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Don't get it right. Get it written.

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Quoted from ReneC
I'm struggling with too many pages this time. Action should read down the page, shorter sentences, more white space to keep the pace high for the reader. But that means being able to write less action. Having to fit a worthy action sequence in at most three pages after setting up a trading card and the denouement is really tough.


Cut back the dialog. It takes up so much space. Just keep what is absolutely essential to the story.


An example of my writing...

FOR SATAN - short, horror, 14 pgs (revised draft) - A group of thrill-seekers explore a creepy old house on Halloween night. Think you know this story? Think again.
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ReneC
Posted: June 24th, 2019, 10:28am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Zack


Cut back the dialog. It takes up so much space. Just keep what is absolutely essential to the story.


I have, but the dialogue is all that makes us care about anybody in this script. I'll be able to tighten it up, it's just harder than previous rounds.


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FrankM
Posted: June 24th, 2019, 10:32am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Zack


Cut back the dialog. It takes up so much space. Just keep what is absolutely essential to the story.


FADE IN:

INT. CHURCH SANCTUARY - NIGHT

Two ninjas, completely undifferentiated in every way, face each other then look at a trading card sitting on an altar for no good reason whatsoever.

NINJA 1
Sup.

NINJA 2
Sup.

* elaborate multi-page fight description *

FADE OUT.


Feature-length scripts:
Who Wants to Be a Princess? (Family)
Glass House (Horror anthology)

TV pilots:
"Kord" (Fantasy)
"Mal Suerte" (Superhero)

Additional scripts are listed here.
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ReneC
Posted: June 24th, 2019, 10:41am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from FrankM


FADE IN:

INT. CHURCH SANCTUARY - NIGHT

Two ninjas, completely undifferentiated in every way, face each other then look at a trading card sitting on an altar for no good reason whatsoever.

NINJA 1
Sup.

NINJA 2
Sup.

* elaborate multi-page fight description *

FADE OUT.


Job done.  


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Gary in Houston
Posted: June 24th, 2019, 10:55am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from FrankM


FADE IN:

INT. CHURCH SANCTUARY - NIGHT

Two ninjas, completely undifferentiated in every way, face each other then look at a trading card sitting on an altar for no good reason whatsoever.

NINJA 1
Sup.

NINJA 2
Sup.

* elaborate multi-page fight description *

FADE OUT.


I would score this 5s across the board.


An utterly mediocre writer who somehow still falls bass ackwards into getting some of his scripts produced.
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eldave1
Posted: June 24th, 2019, 11:14am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Pale Yellow


One good thing about this suggestion is that I've often found that if a script gets ripped bad upon the first review... it usually always effects the reads. I do not look at the reviews before I read the script but I assume the first review is HARD to miss...

By scoring the scripts and after the scoring is done then posting the feedback, it would eliminate that stuff affecting or swaying reads maybe.

Good idea Rick.


I'm torn.

The logistics are problematic.

I like to post comments while the read is still fresh in my mind.  I don't want to have to save a file and come back and cut and paste on each thread. From the site perspective, I think it may be difficult to hold all comments in hyper space - maybe not.

Not sure the premise is correct anyway - I have seen threads where the earlier reviewers didn't like it and those that followed did and vice versa.



My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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ReneC
Posted: June 24th, 2019, 11:20am Report to Moderator
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I don't see any reason not to post comments right away.


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eldave1
Posted: June 24th, 2019, 11:22am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Warren
Quick question...

Can my script feature next to a church but not necessarily in it?


Kind of depends IMO.

A church is the location - that would include Church grounds. i.e., there could be an epic battle on church grounds (as there often is) and I would say - okay.

What I would not favor is if the church (inside or outside) is incidental to the story. e.g.,

- Opening image - A man leaves a confessional with a stolen trading card in his hand and walks out of a Saint Patrick's Cathedral. Then there are four and a half pages of the police chasing him.

- A battle is going on in the Streets of Manhattan - Saint Patrick's cathedral in the background.

Long winded way of saying - regardless of whether it is inside or outside, it should be central to the story.






My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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ReneC
Posted: June 24th, 2019, 11:38am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from eldave1


Kind of depends IMO.

A church is the location - that would include Church grounds. i.e., there could be an epic battle on church grounds (as there often is) and I would say - okay.

What I would not favor is if the church (inside or outside) is incidental to the story. e.g.,

- Opening image - A man leaves a confessional with a stolen trading card in his hand and walks out of a Saint Patrick's Cathedral. Then there are four and a half pages of the police chasing him.

- A battle is going on in the Streets of Manhattan - Saint Patrick's cathedral in the background.

Long winded way of saying - regardless of whether it is inside or outside, it should be central to the story.




If the church is relevant in some meaningful way, that would count for me. Being on church property? Sure. But just in the background? No.


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PKCardinal
Posted: June 24th, 2019, 11:54am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from ReneC
I don't see any reason not to post comments right away.


If it's possible, I agree with everyone on this.

I don't see a problem posting comments right away. I don't think it affects (too much) other reviews. I'd like reviews hidden until it's over. I'd like to do my review immediately after reading. Even if it does affect the scoring, it doesn't matter.

Did I cover everything? Those are all true statements for me.

It's a fun challenge, with minimal stakes, designed to motivate to write. As long as that's the base... the rest is just details.

If you HAD to pin me down... I would want to write my review immediately after reading... and as soon as the voting closes... up pops my review. (Though, there is some fun in watching the reviews flow back and forth, good to bad to good to worse)

But, don't mistake my opinion for dissatisfaction. All is good as is.


PaulKWrites.com

60 Feet Under - Low budget, contained thriller/Feature
The Hand of God - Low budget, semi-contained thriller/Feature
Wait Till Next Year - Disney-style family sports comedy/Feature

Many shorts available for production: comedy, thriller, drama, light horror
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ReneC
Posted: June 24th, 2019, 12:08pm Report to Moderator
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It seems the only reason this keeps cropping up is because people have issues with certain reviews.

We can't dictate how reviewers review. What we can do is refrain from arguing against them. But if we really want to do that, is that a terrible thing? It breeds discussion, it makes things lively, and it's often from passionate people. Why would we want to stifle that?

The negativity piles up and that's a killjoy for sure. This is supposed to be fun. For me, part of that fun is reading the reviews, and I won't bother reading anyone else's if they're all posted at once. It's too much reading. I'll just focus on my own and move on. I also like reading other reviews before posting my own, for a variety of reasons. I think it's useful and informative to do that.

There's no way to stop other people from being negative, but we can choose not to give in to it. And we can choose to bow out of a conversation entirely. Nobody has a gun to our heads demanding we read everything here. I've left threads countless times, returning to them a few dozen posts later to see if the mood has improved before contributing again. And I've knee-jerked posts countless times and then deleted them without posting because I realize I don't really need to say anything, just let it go.

Maybe if we all did that a little more things wouldn't get so bogged down in in-fighting.


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eldave1
Posted: June 24th, 2019, 12:16pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from ReneC


If the church is relevant in some meaningful way, that would count for me. Being on church property? Sure. But just in the background? No.


makes sense


My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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JEStaats
Posted: June 24th, 2019, 12:17pm Report to Moderator
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No sh*t, there I was....

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It's up to the reader to read and post their review prior to reading other reviewers opinion. Simple as that. If someone is not confident of their opinion and are in fear of being ridiculed for liking/disliking an entry that others feel strongly opposite, there's no helping that.

I reviewed an entry in round three that I thought was lower tier, posted my review, and found out that most everyone else loved it. Still don't get it.
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FrankM
Posted: June 24th, 2019, 12:47pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from eldave1


I'm torn.

The logistics are problematic.

I like to post comments while the read is still fresh in my mind.  I don't want to have to save a file and come back and cut and paste on each thread. From the site perspective, I think it may be difficult to hold all comments in hyper space - maybe not.

Not sure the premise is correct anyway - I have seen threads where the earlier reviewers didn't like it and those that followed did and vice versa.


I do actually end up putting my reviews into a text file, but thats an artifact of recording the subscores for each script. Since theyre there as drafts, I can pick out the half-dozen or so with the least to say and withhold those to cloak my silence on my own entry.

Silence doesnt mean I didnt like it, just that I had nothing insightful to say about it. One of the un-commented-upon scripts was in my top three.

I read the other reviews after posting mine, but rarely jump into the conversation because the writer isnt there to clarify. Pretty much 100% of the time another review will point out something I missed, and I wonder how I missed that.


Feature-length scripts:
Who Wants to Be a Princess? (Family)
Glass House (Horror anthology)

TV pilots:
"Kord" (Fantasy)
"Mal Suerte" (Superhero)

Additional scripts are listed here.

Revision History (1 edits)
FrankM  -  June 24th, 2019, 12:49pm
Fixed punctuation
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PKCardinal
Posted: June 24th, 2019, 1:08pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from ReneC
This is supposed to be fun. For me, part of that fun is reading the reviews, and I won't bother reading anyone else's if they're all posted at once. It's too much reading. I'll just focus on my own and move on. I also like reading other reviews before posting my own, for a variety of reasons. I think it's useful and informative to do that.


I'm convinced. This is now my official position. Don't change anything.

Seriously.


PaulKWrites.com

60 Feet Under - Low budget, contained thriller/Feature
The Hand of God - Low budget, semi-contained thriller/Feature
Wait Till Next Year - Disney-style family sports comedy/Feature

Many shorts available for production: comedy, thriller, drama, light horror
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Scar Tissue Films
Posted: June 24th, 2019, 1:19pm Report to Moderator
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I've submitted, but received no notification. I'm wondering now whether I messed it up....
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Gary in Houston
Posted: June 24th, 2019, 1:46pm Report to Moderator
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Which result is worse?  Not submitting a script and thus receiving no scores, or submitting a script so horrific that youre rewarded with universal 1s from every voter and banned from ever posting on this site again?  

Because, yes, that is the choice Im facing at the moment.

Viva la crap!


An utterly mediocre writer who somehow still falls bass ackwards into getting some of his scripts produced.
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PKCardinal
Posted: June 24th, 2019, 2:49pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Gary in Houston
Which result is worse?  Not submitting a script and thus receiving no scores, or submitting a script so horrific that youre rewarded with universal 1s from every voter and banned from ever posting on this site again?  

Because, yes, that is the choice Im facing at the moment.

Viva la crap!


Call it a pisser and tell everyone you wrote it that way on purpose.


PaulKWrites.com

60 Feet Under - Low budget, contained thriller/Feature
The Hand of God - Low budget, semi-contained thriller/Feature
Wait Till Next Year - Disney-style family sports comedy/Feature

Many shorts available for production: comedy, thriller, drama, light horror
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Matthew Taylor
Posted: June 24th, 2019, 2:55pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from PKCardinal


Call it a pisser and tell everyone you wrote it that way on purpose.


...and make sure the trading card makes it up at least one rectum


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Pale Yellow
Posted: June 24th, 2019, 3:05pm Report to Moderator
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HELP!! Does the church have to be the ONLY location. Cannot find the original RULES post!!!

Running out of time!!
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Scar Tissue Films
Posted: June 24th, 2019, 3:06pm Report to Moderator
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No, just a key/major role.
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DustinBowcot
Posted: June 24th, 2019, 3:07pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Pale Yellow
HELP!! Does the church have to be the ONLY location. Cannot find the original RULES post!!!

Running out of time!!


Yes, it is the only location. It's clear on page one. Location: Church.

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DustinBowcot
Posted: June 24th, 2019, 3:09pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Scar Tissue Films
No, just a key/major role.


Then perhaps the OP should be changed to read Main Location: Church.


I'm with the idea that a church can be any building that conducts worship... even a house can be a church. However, that is the sole location given in the OP.
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Pale Yellow
Posted: June 24th, 2019, 3:13pm Report to Moderator
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Like if my script has three pages in the church and two not is that ok?
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ReneC
Posted: June 24th, 2019, 3:18pm Report to Moderator
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Yes, it's fine.


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Scar Tissue Films
Posted: June 24th, 2019, 3:19pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from DustinBowcot


Then perhaps the OP should be changed to read Main Location: Church.


I'm with the idea that a church can be any building that conducts worship... even a house can be a church. However, that is the sole location given in the OP.


The rules ain't the rules, I don't think! Like the sewer one.. You could be outside the sewer as well. It just had to be in the sewer for a significant part.

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Matthew Taylor
Posted: June 24th, 2019, 3:21pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Pale Yellow
Like if my script has three pages in the church and two not is that ok?


The below is what Mr Blonde wrote when round 1 was revealed


Quoted Text
Keep in mind that the location and object should be integral to your script (the script can't exist without them), but that doesn't mean your entire script has to take place in that location or that object has to appear in every scene.


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DustinBowcot
Posted: June 24th, 2019, 3:23pm Report to Moderator
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So, if a production company asked me for a script set in a sewer, it would be fine for me to write two pages out of five somewhere else?

I wouldn't risk that if I wanted to get paid without having to do a rewrite. If I wanted to add another location, I owuld have to ask the prod co if that was OK...

I don't care as I'm not in it. However, I would mark people down if they used more than the location specified.

Up to you how you want to treat the exercise, I suppose.
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DustinBowcot
Posted: June 24th, 2019, 3:25pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Matthew Taylor


The below is what Mr Blonde wrote when round 1 was revealed



Ah, well... it would merely take being more clear in the first place. As I said, using 'Main Location' prevents this type of confusion. I don't read every post in every thread and I'm sure others are the same.
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Pale Yellow
Posted: June 24th, 2019, 3:28pm Report to Moderator
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Sorry guys didn't mean to start a landslide... just making sure I'm within the parameters. I've been known to color outside the lines a time or two!

Rock on, mates!
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Scar Tissue Films
Posted: June 24th, 2019, 3:36pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from DustinBowcot
So, if a production company asked me for a script set in a sewer, it would be fine for me to write two pages out of five somewhere else?

I wouldn't risk that if I wanted to get paid without having to do a rewrite. If I wanted to add another location, I owuld have to ask the prod co if that was OK...

I don't care as I'm not in it. However, I would mark people down if they used more than the location specified.

Up to you how you want to treat the exercise, I suppose.


I generally think like you, maybe it's English pedantry (is that the word?). That if there are  rules, they're strict, because you can set any rules you want and have it completely open if that's what you desire. Eg write a story of any genre based on your interpretation of Love.

But it's been clarified that the things need to play a key role, and by a key role we mean there's some kind of attempt to include the items /location.

Obviously a real life example is different.
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DustinBowcot
Posted: June 24th, 2019, 3:43pm Report to Moderator
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Given that the challenge has been broadened to 'place of worship' this could be quite literally anywhere. Even Stonehenge. I'll put in extra effort to read the scripts this round... I might learn something.
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Matthew Taylor
Posted: June 24th, 2019, 3:57pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from DustinBowcot
Given that the challenge has been broadened to 'place of worship' this could be quite literally anywhere. Even Stonehenge. I'll put in extra effort to read the scripts this round... I might learn something.


You can skip mine, no one is gonna learn anything from this thing


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jayrex
Posted: June 24th, 2019, 4:04pm Report to Moderator
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Cut to three weeks earlier

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I've just submitted.  Probably a load of shite.


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DustinBowcot
Posted: June 24th, 2019, 4:27pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from jayrex
I've just submitted.  Probably a load of shite.


And you were so confident before you wrote it.
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Pale Yellow
Posted: June 24th, 2019, 4:40pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from DustinBowcot
Given that the challenge has been broadened to 'place of worship' this could be quite literally anywhere. Even Stonehenge. I'll put in extra effort to read the scripts this round... I might learn something.


You can skip mine.. it'll surely be DQ'd .. hard to write Action without some other genre sneaking in!
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jayrex
Posted: June 24th, 2019, 4:45pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from DustinBowcot


And you were so confident before you wrote it.


I'm always confident.  It's the reviews that bring me back down to earth.


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ReneC
Posted: June 24th, 2019, 4:45pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Pale Yellow


You can skip mine.. it'll surely be DQ'd .. hard to write Action without some other genre sneaking in!


You can have other genres, it must have action though.


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jayrex
Posted: June 24th, 2019, 4:46pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Pale Yellow


You can skip mine.. it'll surely be DQ'd .. hard to write Action without some other genre sneaking in!


Completely agree!


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Matthew Taylor
Posted: June 24th, 2019, 4:48pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Pale Yellow


You can skip mine.. it'll surely be DQ'd .. hard to write Action without some other genre sneaking in!


You gotta have other genres in there - pure action would be awful.

Chuck in some drama, comedy, sci-fi - whatever - as long as the action is clear it should be all good.


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Warren
Posted: June 24th, 2019, 4:51pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Matthew Taylor


You gotta have other genres in there - pure action would be awful.

Chuck in some drama, comedy, sci-fi - whatever - as long as the action is clear it should be all good.


Agreed, no good action film is pure action. There is usually something at stake that creates drama.


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Matthew Taylor
Posted: June 24th, 2019, 5:54pm Report to Moderator
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Alright, almost midnight here and I'm done.

I have tried something different stylistically and I've looked up various formatting techniques to best tell the story - I'm mostly expecting a lot of "I'm confused" and "I don't like that". But, you gotta try new things, right?

I've written a story that will not appeal to the masses, but the type of story I love telling - so I have had a blast. I've also looked up action writing techniques and examples (not that I have adopted them all, I'm too tired to write properly now), so I guess I have already achieved what the point of this tournament is, writing.

I am genuinely intrigued about how the rest of you have gone about the trading card stipulation, should be interesting.

I really hope at least 1 person enjoys my script lol

Good night - I look forward to seeing you tear my script apart  


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Zack
Posted: June 24th, 2019, 6:09pm Report to Moderator
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Don't get it right. Get it written.

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It's gonna be another round that comes down to the wire for me. Been fighting a stupid migraine all day. Just woke up after a long nap and finally feel decent enough to write. Let's see if I can't work my magic.


An example of my writing...

FOR SATAN - short, horror, 14 pgs (revised draft) - A group of thrill-seekers explore a creepy old house on Halloween night. Think you know this story? Think again.
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Warren
Posted: June 24th, 2019, 6:10pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Matthew Taylor


Good night - I look forward to seeing you tear my script apart  


Likewise


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PKCardinal
Posted: June 24th, 2019, 6:59pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Matthew Taylor
Alright, almost midnight here and I'm done.

I have tried something different stylistically and I've looked up various formatting techniques to best tell the story - I'm mostly expecting a lot of "I'm confused" and "I don't like that". But, you gotta try new things, right?

I've written a story that will not appeal to the masses, but the type of story I love telling - so I have had a blast. I've also looked up action writing techniques and examples (not that I have adopted them all, I'm too tired to write properly now), so I guess I have already achieved what the point of this tournament is, writing.

I am genuinely intrigued about how the rest of you have gone about the trading card stipulation, should be interesting.

I really hope at least 1 person enjoys my script lol

Good night - I look forward to seeing you tear my script apart  


Oooh. I'm intrigued. Love to see people taking chances.


PaulKWrites.com

60 Feet Under - Low budget, contained thriller/Feature
The Hand of God - Low budget, semi-contained thriller/Feature
Wait Till Next Year - Disney-style family sports comedy/Feature

Many shorts available for production: comedy, thriller, drama, light horror
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Warren
Posted: June 24th, 2019, 7:24pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from PKCardinal


Oooh. I'm intrigued. Love to see people taking chances.


Well then you might love mine. I took a chance that I could actually write action.


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Warren
Posted: June 24th, 2019, 7:24pm Report to Moderator
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I'm thinking we'll drop down to 15 entries this round...


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PKCardinal
Posted: June 24th, 2019, 7:30pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Warren


Well then you might love mine. I took a chance that I could actually write action.


I had to wrestle mine to the ground. It kept morphing into something else. But, I think I got it. We'll see...


PaulKWrites.com

60 Feet Under - Low budget, contained thriller/Feature
The Hand of God - Low budget, semi-contained thriller/Feature
Wait Till Next Year - Disney-style family sports comedy/Feature

Many shorts available for production: comedy, thriller, drama, light horror
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Warren
Posted: June 24th, 2019, 7:34pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from PKCardinal


I had to wrestle mine to the ground. It kept morphing into something else. But, I think I got it. We'll see...


I just set it free and went along for the ride. Cant say I enjoyed it.


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FrankM
Posted: June 24th, 2019, 8:22pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from PKCardinal
Oooh. I'm intrigued. Love to see people taking chances.


An action script thats 100% dialogue  


Feature-length scripts:
Who Wants to Be a Princess? (Family)
Glass House (Horror anthology)

TV pilots:
"Kord" (Fantasy)
"Mal Suerte" (Superhero)

Additional scripts are listed here.
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JEStaats
Posted: June 24th, 2019, 8:53pm Report to Moderator
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No sh*t, there I was....

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Woohoo! Reread, revised, and submitted. Once again, proud and confident.

Tomorrow...ashamed and insecure.

Time for a big ol tumbler of rum to relish in my foolery. Fire away, my friends!
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ReneC
Posted: June 24th, 2019, 9:50pm Report to Moderator
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Well, it's done. Not chancing cutting it so close again. Submitted with a little over an hour left.


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FrankM
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Quoted from ReneC
Well, it's done. Not chancing cutting it so close again. Submitted with a little over an hour left.


Submitted. With a whole SEVEN minutes to spare.


Feature-length scripts:
Who Wants to Be a Princess? (Family)
Glass House (Horror anthology)

TV pilots:
"Kord" (Fantasy)
"Mal Suerte" (Superhero)

Additional scripts are listed here.
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Zack
Posted: June 24th, 2019, 11:05pm Report to Moderator
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Don't get it right. Get it written.

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Oh my God, I just submitted. I think I might have been a minute late. NO!!!!!


An example of my writing...

FOR SATAN - short, horror, 14 pgs (revised draft) - A group of thrill-seekers explore a creepy old house on Halloween night. Think you know this story? Think again.

Revision History (1 edits)
Zack  -  June 24th, 2019, 11:15pm
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PKCardinal
Posted: June 24th, 2019, 11:19pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Zack
Oh my God, I just submitted. I think I might have been a minute late. NO!!!!!


Doubt anyone will care about one minute. Am I right?


PaulKWrites.com

60 Feet Under - Low budget, contained thriller/Feature
The Hand of God - Low budget, semi-contained thriller/Feature
Wait Till Next Year - Disney-style family sports comedy/Feature

Many shorts available for production: comedy, thriller, drama, light horror
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Warren
Posted: June 24th, 2019, 11:20pm Report to Moderator
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Thanks, Don and Sean, love your work!


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JEStaats
Posted: June 24th, 2019, 11:47pm Report to Moderator
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No sh*t, there I was....

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Quoted from Warren
I'm thinking we'll drop down to 15 entries this round...


Good guess!
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FrankM
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Quoted from JEStaats


Good guess!


Twas not a guess... he simply read ahead in the script.


Feature-length scripts:
Who Wants to Be a Princess? (Family)
Glass House (Horror anthology)

TV pilots:
"Kord" (Fantasy)
"Mal Suerte" (Superhero)

Additional scripts are listed here.
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Warren
Posted: June 24th, 2019, 11:49pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from JEStaats


Good guess!




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Scar Tissue Films
Posted: June 25th, 2019, 4:38am Report to Moderator
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Not the strongest round...
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Warren
Posted: June 25th, 2019, 4:46am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Scar Tissue Films
Not the strongest round...


Except for yours of course.



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Scar Tissue Films
Posted: June 25th, 2019, 4:48am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Warren


Except for yours of course.



Of course.
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Scar Tissue Films
Posted: June 25th, 2019, 4:57am Report to Moderator
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Not interested in strategy. There is no prize for winning.
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Scar Tissue Films
Posted: June 25th, 2019, 5:06am Report to Moderator
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Are you OK, hun?
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Matthew Taylor
Posted: June 25th, 2019, 5:35am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Scar Tissue Films
Not the strongest round...


You finished reading already? damn, your like a script reading machine

P.S you can't be talking about my entry, it's amazing - i'm surprised it hasn't been optioned already  


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Scar Tissue Films
Posted: June 25th, 2019, 5:38am Report to Moderator
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There are some decent ideas in there, but the trading card is the goofiest object yet. It's derailed a few of them completely, for me.
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FrankM
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Quoted from Scar Tissue Films
There are some decent ideas in there, but the trading card is the goofiest object yet. It's derailed a few of them completely, for me.


The problem is that the hand sanitizer makes the whistling bobble head trading card all sticky.


Feature-length scripts:
Who Wants to Be a Princess? (Family)
Glass House (Horror anthology)

TV pilots:
"Kord" (Fantasy)
"Mal Suerte" (Superhero)

Additional scripts are listed here.
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Warren
Posted: June 25th, 2019, 5:59am Report to Moderator
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I wonder how many trading cards will be inserted where they shouldn't be.


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eldave1
Posted: June 26th, 2019, 1:01pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Warren
I wonder how many trading cards will be inserted where they shouldn't be.


That's what the hand sanitizer is for


My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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Gary in Houston
Posted: June 26th, 2019, 1:04pm Report to Moderator
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Finished all of them. Really a lot of hit and miss stuff for me. Maybe only one or two stood out, but Ill Likely not remember them far beyond the competition.  On the other hand, there werent many pure stinkers either. Most of my scores will be fairly close across the board.


An utterly mediocre writer who somehow still falls bass ackwards into getting some of his scripts produced.
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Zack
Posted: July 1st, 2019, 6:52pm Report to Moderator
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Don't get it right. Get it written.

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How much longer before round 4 votes are due?


An example of my writing...

FOR SATAN - short, horror, 14 pgs (revised draft) - A group of thrill-seekers explore a creepy old house on Halloween night. Think you know this story? Think again.
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Warren
Posted: July 1st, 2019, 7:32pm Report to Moderator
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Anyone got any guesses for round 4?

Richard - A Place of Worship
Paul - Sanctuary
Rene - Black Mamba
Zack - Red Wedding
Matthew - Saints and Sinners

Not overly sure about any of those but I thought I'd have a crack.


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ReneC
Posted: July 1st, 2019, 9:06pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Zack
How much longer before round 4 votes are due?


Same time as round 5 submissions. Less than 2 hours.


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Scar Tissue Films
Posted: July 2nd, 2019, 2:43am Report to Moderator
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I'm out of the tournament completely, so won't be submitting any scores for round 4. Too busy. Not sure how to let Mr Blonde know...
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DustinBowcot
Posted: July 2nd, 2019, 3:08am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Scar Tissue Films
I'm out of the tournament completely, so won't be submitting any scores for round 4. Too busy. Not sure how to let Mr Blonde know...


That's the trouble with running this as a 5-week marathon. It's often easy enough to see what is happening in the next week, but after that things get sketchy.

Hopefully, you being busy means you're making lots more cash. Good luck.
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LC
Posted: July 2nd, 2019, 4:34am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Scar Tissue Films
I'm out of the tournament completely, so won't be submitting any scores for round 4. Too busy. Not sure how to let Mr Blonde know...

Sorry to hear that, Rick. I enjoyed your reviews and lively participation. Missed your input this last round. PM Don or Blondie, I guess.


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Matthew Taylor
Posted: July 2nd, 2019, 5:53am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Warren
Anyone got any guesses for round 4?

Richard - A Place of Worship
Paul - Sanctuary
Rene - Black Mamba
Zack - Red Wedding
Matthew - Saints and Sinners

Not overly sure about any of those but I thought I'd have a crack.


Zack - A Warriors Anguish
Anthony - Sanctuary
Rene - Black Mamba
Warren - Redemption

I haven't been able to guess yours correctly yet Warren, so here's hoping 4th time lucky lol

Sorry to hear you are out Rick, I also enjoyed your participation


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jayrex
Posted: July 2nd, 2019, 12:17pm Report to Moderator
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Cut to three weeks earlier

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Quoted from LC

Sorry to hear that, Rick. I enjoyed your reviews and lively participation. Missed your input this last round. PM Don or Blondie, I guess.


Ditto.  I appreciated Ricks reviews.


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PKCardinal
Posted: July 2nd, 2019, 1:13pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Scar Tissue Films
I'm out of the tournament completely, so won't be submitting any scores for round 4. Too busy. Not sure how to let Mr Blonde know...


Shoot. You were running up some good scores, and dropping some nice scripts.


PaulKWrites.com

60 Feet Under - Low budget, contained thriller/Feature
The Hand of God - Low budget, semi-contained thriller/Feature
Wait Till Next Year - Disney-style family sports comedy/Feature

Many shorts available for production: comedy, thriller, drama, light horror
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Warren
Posted: July 3rd, 2019, 9:20pm Report to Moderator
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Do we know when round 4 standings will be up?


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