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The primary purpose of the SimplyScripts Discussion Board is the discussion of unproduced screenplays. If you are a producer or director lookng for your next project, the works here are available for option, purchase or production only if you receive permission from the author.
NOTE: these screenplays are NOT in the public domain and MAY NOT be used or reproduced for any purpose (including eductional purposes) without the expressedwrittenpermission of the author.
Close Encounters of the Nerd Kind by Richard Doofus - When their construction truck breaks down, two workers pass the time by playing with their tools. - Short, Sci Fi
Well, you get points for getting an entry in - literally as well as figuratively.
And, it's short and sweet.
I wondered if someone might use the object as musical instrument.
The story itself doesn't quite hit the mark for me, but with a few tweaks, maybe... I just anticipated a bit more with the logline but good effort all the same.
So not a whole lot to this, it okay for what it is, funny ending. Not really a story just a one trick pony. I'm sure you know that as it's a page and a half long.
So the broken down car isn’t a location at any point. It’s in a location. I'm happy if people aren’t in a car the entire time just like any other location in this tourney, but considering that is part of the criteria I don’t feel it has been met. Others may be more lenient.
Okay, you've chosen to walk with a little skit here. Annnnndd… it works as I see it. Using the saw as an instrument hasn't crossed my mind, however it's possible. Surely, this isn't overly exciting but I could definitely imagine it as a little piece for commercials. Good choice to go simple I think. Criteria's well met.
More like a joke than a story, a joke that may be lost on me - I've never ordered an Uber, does it have to be done with music? probably not - with the app I guess. Maybe Uber can use this for one of their adverts.
Hey, it's a real short short!!! My deepest appreciation to you for saving my eyeballs from the extra read!
We have a broken down truck -- they're actually sitting on the truck so bonus points for having them on or in the vehicle. You used the saw in a way I wasn't anticipating, so good there, and you have space ships. So criteria met.
Look, it's not Aaron Sorkin, but it's fun and quick and harmless. And a nice call out to Close Encounters of the Third Kind, both in the title and the calling of the space ships.
Best of luck, and congrats on finishing the Challenge! Gary
Some of my scripts:
Bounty (TV Pilot) -- Top 1% of discoverable screenplays on Coverfly I'll Be Seeing You (short) - OWC winner The Gambler (short) - OWC winner Skip (short) - filmed Country Road 12 (short) - filmed The Family Man (short) - filmed The Journeyers (feature) - optioned
They're sitting on the truck bed, so, I definitely think parameters are met.
Sure, it's silly, but it made me laugh, so that's a win in my book.
Well done.
(Logline fits the tone of the piece. Must admit, wasn't looking forward to reading about two guys playing with their "tools.")
PaulKWrites.com
Ashes - Semi-contained psychological horror thriller/Feature The Hand of God - Low budget, semi-contained thriller/Feature Wait Till Next Year - Disney-style family sports comedy/Feature
Many shorts available for production: comedy, thriller, drama, light horror
Short but entertaining. And the saw was actually used to accomplish something, not just used as a prop. The saw music calling down a space uber was funny, but I would’ve thought the irritating sound would’ve drawn a space cop instead.