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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Comedy Scripts  ›  Headlong (7WC) Moderators: bert
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  Author    Headlong (7WC)  (currently 12082 views)
Sandra Elstree.
Posted: November 1st, 2011, 11:28pm Report to Moderator
Old Timer


What if the Hokey Pokey, IS what it's all about?

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Quoted from stevie
yo Kev! Mate, thanks for all the support and tips. I sent my baby out last night. I came up with a pretty good log, though yours was pretty cool too!

Cornie made a suggestion too which was close to mine. I went through the script with a tooth comb, there are no errors at all!  Cut as much as I could without sacrificing the spontaneity.

it reads quick so heres hoping someone like sandra is on the reading panel at the LA comedy festival!!   Now i just have to wait till march next year to see how it went.

Its time to get back to my Custer project!!

Cheers all!!


Cheers to you too, Stevie! I'm just so happy that I got to read this when it was in its early stages and I knew right away that it was a winner. I've said this before: I might not be able to write the best script, but I sure do know how to pick them!!!  

Sandra



A known mistake is better than an unknown truth.
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Dreamscale
Posted: November 2nd, 2011, 8:14pm Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


Yes, that is my real hair...

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Quoted from leitskev
Just like Costello needed Abbott, Lewis needed Martin.


And Kevin and Stevie need Jeff.  Ah shucks...ain't that cute?



To ski or not to ski...that's not even a question.
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leitskev
Posted: November 2nd, 2011, 8:38pm Report to Moderator
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We definitely need...nah, not gonna say it. Ok, we need Jeff!
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Dreamscale
Posted: November 2nd, 2011, 10:23pm Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


Yes, that is my real hair...

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Yeah, I do need something pretty badly but I won't go there either...oh shit...I'm opening myself up to Stevie's quoting hi-jinks...especially using "opening".


To ski or not to ski...that's not even a question.
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stevie
Posted: November 2nd, 2011, 11:06pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Dreamscale
I do need something pretty badly. I'm opening myself up to all.





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Electric Dreamer
Posted: November 3rd, 2011, 12:21pm Report to Moderator
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Taking a long vacation from the holidays.

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Quoted from Dreamscale
Yeah, I do need a pretty opening badly, but I won't go there either...oh





LATEST NEWS

CineVita Films
is producing a short based on my new feature!

A list of my scripts can be found here.
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Dreamscale
Posted: November 3rd, 2011, 5:09pm Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


Yes, that is my real hair...

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I knew I could count on your guys.  Thanks for not letting me down!


To ski or not to ski...that's not even a question.
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CoopBazinga
Posted: December 7th, 2011, 7:57am Report to Moderator
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A couple of Aussies on a road trip pick up a zombie hitchhiker. Have got to read this!

This was a fun, entertaining and enjoyable read, very slapstick. It did seem to turn into the wacky races in the second half with lots of unbelievable action, the helicopter crash was unrealistic but spectacular.

I liked a lot of the characters, they all had their own personal quirks and the dialogue seemed genuine for what for I think you were going for.

The real star of the show was Ray, whether it be singing karaoke or leaping from helicopters. You have created a memorable character without having too much for him to say which i think you've accomplished superbly.

I also like the payoff at the end of the Taylor and Reynolds side story, it gave me a good laugh.

The one area I felt could have more attention was the brothers themselves. they almost felt like sidekicks at times around other good characters and were easily forgettable IMO. I think one way to do this would be to add more detail to the love triangle/ relationship with Andrea.  They could compete with each other for her affection. Just a thought.

Overall, I really enjoyed this. Good work!

Steve
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stevie
Posted: December 7th, 2011, 8:27am Report to Moderator
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Yo Steve!

Always good to hear from another Aussie onsite - there's not many of us! And anyone named Steve had to be pretty cool...

Yeah, I'm fond of this script. I entered it in the LA Comedy Festival the other month - won't find out anything till March.

And you make a good point about the brothers fighting over Andrea - I did need more of it but after slaving through the rewrite( the original had no zombie Ray in it), I sorta hurried it up.

U follow the AFL? I live on the Gold Coast but am a Vic boy originally. I'm a mad Saints fan!

Oddly enough I've never been to W.A! Or Tassie for that matter...

Cheers mate



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CoopBazinga
Posted: December 8th, 2011, 6:37am Report to Moderator
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Hey mate,

Sorry to disappoint you but i'm actually a pom, moved to Australia a few years back but would love to be known as a Aussie.

Yeah I follow the AFL mate. I'm a Dockers fan,  think we have someone who used to belong to the Saints but lets go too much into that.

Good luck with the LA Comedy Festival, the script has so much potential so fingers crossed and good luck with it.

Cheers mate.

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stevie
Posted: December 8th, 2011, 6:45am Report to Moderator
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Cheers Coop! Actually Cooper is my sons name...

The Dockers, hey? Should be an interesting game at Etihad, is it Rd 4 next season?

There's a few Englishmen onsite and a couple of Irish lads too. It's a pretty good mix of nationalities.



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CoopBazinga
Posted: December 8th, 2011, 7:31am Report to Moderator
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It will be a very interesting game but the Dockers winning over east, I don't know about that?

From what I've seen in my short time here, there are many nationalities and a lots of excellent writers which I could learn a great deal from.

Your son is called Cooper, you could say mini Cooper! A terrible pun, sorry!  I couldn't resist.

All the best.

Thanks mate.
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Electric Dreamer
Posted: July 2nd, 2012, 10:52pm Report to Moderator
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Taking a long vacation from the holidays.

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Yo Stevie!

Your number's up over a ScriptShadow!!!
Let's back one of our stalwart SS vets and get him a Friday read!

http://scriptshadow.blogspot.com/2012_06_01_archive.html

Go Stevie!

Regards,
E.D.


LATEST NEWS

CineVita Films
is producing a short based on my new feature!

A list of my scripts can be found here.
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stevie
Posted: July 2nd, 2012, 11:10pm Report to Moderator
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Hey, thanks for the support, Brett!

Yeah, i only found out you could submit stuff to them, so I thought, what the hell!



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CoopBazinga
Posted: July 3rd, 2012, 12:09am Report to Moderator
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Yeah, I saw this last night.

There's a few SS's on there I noticed but you know I have to vote for the Aussie.

Good luck with it, Stevie!

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