Hey Glenn, this was bizarre. I mean that entirely as a compliment.

I think the script would play out really well on screen as everything is very visual with no wasted words of dialogue at all.

I thought having WOLF be human with a wolf mask is very clever. Dogs must see themselves as human, at least in a way. The way they are treated by the majority of owners is almost as a child, so a child actor for the part of WOLF would work really well.

RABBIT, I'm not so sure about. This is the dog's dream yeah, so he knows what a rabbit looks like. Unless there's some sort of meaning to the rabbit being a child with rabbit face paint on, I don't really see the sense in that. Having said that, it is a dream and it would look really cool and weird so I'm not sure.

Really nice three pager here mate. Enjoyed it.

Ste

Yeah, overall I kinda liked it as well. There were some bizarre instances, why would Mandy tell Wolf to get the rabbit (when it's obviously a little boy), and what's with the musical chair with the knife. There seems to be some deeper meaning that I didn't get. But maybe that's what dog thinks about!

Good job though.

A strange little tale you have here

But nonetheless it was an interesting one to read. Loved how bizarre the story felt at the beginning, but the end kind of left me wondering something. Why was the Wolf attacking the boy dressed as a rabbit? I assume that the Wolf wasn't going to attack Mandy, he just wanted some attention, but the rabbit I don't understand.

It's been I while since I read one of your scripts, glad I found this one.

Glenn

Nice little 3 pager here, great ending too. I like how you led us to believe the rabbit and wolf sequence came from the book Mandy was reading before showing the real source of such askew, surreal garden "activities".

I must say though, by page 2 I figured I musta’ stumbled across some sick, twisted, blacklisted child/animal fetish, torture porn...and in screenplay format of all things. Coming via an alternate, parallel portal within the slimy, dank & murky depths of simplyscriptdom!  twas the only logical conclusion I could up with, you know.

But what astonished me even more was the firm grasp this demented little fiend possessed of standard  screenwriting rules; courier 12 font...check! tight, concise descriptions...check! capitalising character names when first introduced...check! complete abstinence of "we look" or "we see"...check! and not an instance of passive verbiage in sight! I must say I'm very impressed with the Aussie sex offender reformation institutions, they really got them unearthing & utilising their hidden artistic talents in a productive way

Anyway enough of the sh?t talk I enjoyed this, the ending really made it...Although the sick, twisted, blacklisted child/animal fetish, torture porn-ist within me quite enjoyed the garden, fountain and tree grove scenes for their outright randomness, along with the absurdist hierarchy between the man-wolf, woman and boy-rabbit. Ah, had me reminiscing about the good old days on the ru-- Ok I'll stop now, good job.

Col.

Glen, sorry, but I can't jump on board here with everyone else.

I didn't like this...didn't like the font used...didn't like the constant 1 sentence passages...didn't like the format/writing style...didn't really get it.

As someone else said, the musical chairs thing went on too long and didn't make a whole lot of sense with the knife thing.

To it's credit, it defintely has a very sureal vibe to it, and that worked, but in the end, I don't think it does, as there wasn't much of a payoff, and the conclusion that the dog was dreaming is something that no one would ever know, in reality.

It takes up 3 pages, but that's only because of the way you chose to write it...with all 1 sentence passages, a space, and another 1 sentence passage, etc.  Probably only 2 pages if spaced out standardly.

For being different, I give you kudos, but as a screenplay, I can't say I liked it or that it works.

Sorry, but good, original effort!

Thank you everyone for the read. really appreaciate it.

Hi Glenn,

I have to admit that during the first couple of pages I was scratching my head and wondering what the f***k was actually going on. It tripped me out a little (which incidentally, is not a bad thing).

When the ending was revealed I had a big grin on my face. I had been trying to find some logic behind it, and the fact that it was simply a 'doggy dream' was excellent!

A fine, quick read- most enjoyable and certainly very original. Top stuff.

Craig

I could imagine reading this while stoned out my head. That would be some experience. I mean that in a good way.

Like the others have mentioned, the ending makes it worth the ride. I would also agree with a previous poster that having the boy dressed up as a rabbit makes little sense but if you are aiming to have this filmed, it would be much easier that way than using an actual rabbit, I suppose. The dog dreaming himself as a human dressed as a wolf is a great touch, though.  

The musical chairs bit didn't frill me. I imagine a dog could dream about killing a rabbit but maybe not playing musical chairs. Who knows? Maybe they do.

Enjoyed it. A solid three pages. Well done!

Brian

Hi Glenn,

I'm a little late to the party here, but just wanted to let you know that I thought it was a great little twist at the end.  (This coming from a guy who really spends too much time wondering what his dog is thinking.)

Anyway, I would agree with a couple of other people that I didn't quite get the musical chairs thing, but I don't think it harmed the reading in anyway.

Also I got a creepy kind of feeling from this dog.  I mean, if people can be good or bad, why can't dogs.  This might take the whole stroy in another direction, but what if you had the young boy who was dressed in the rabbit costume lying on the woman's lap sleeping (i.e. her son).  Maybe Malto has some repressed, anti-social feelings toward the kid because he gets most of the attention.

Anyway, just a thought.  Def liked it though.  

Thanks,
Craig

Thanks for the read.

Craig6. Your idea of add son in a rabbit suit at the end is brillant and I slapped myself in the head and blurted: "dang! why didn't I think of that!"

Hey Glenn,

Well, this was different, that's for damn sure, imaginative and with a good payoff. But I think you could have gone weirder actually. Since it's a dream - especially a dog dream - it's almost too linear. Now, I don't know how a dog dreams exactly but if they're anything like mine then it would definitely be all over the place. It should be like a blind man's dream. What does a car looks like to a blind man?

I like the fact that the dog sees himself as a human-wolf and the rabbit as a human-child-rabbit, that actually makes sense but I would not assign the dog any motive what so ever. Dogs are stupid. They do what they do because they are what they are. Yes, you can teach them tricks and get them come when you call but following orders doesn't equal intelligence.

Another thing, I think you need to stay consistent about RABBIT, sometimes you refer to him as Rabbit other times it's the rabbit. I think you should stick with just Rabbit.

Anyway, I liked it.

Cheers
Rob

Thanks Rob for the read.

Wow your ideas on dog dreams would be very abstract and interesting to film.

Do dogs even dream? I don't own a dog. I'm a cat person and have a new kitten tabby.

Hey Glenn.

Dogs do dream.

This was a cool short. Well written, but I think at times you have written things which cannot be shown on screen. They have been mentioned before.

As Rob said, I think it's really good how the dog sees himself as a wolf, and the rabbit as a child. Very interesting, and it works.

There were some weird situations in this, and I would really like to see you write more of this kinda thing, but without too much of an explanation. In this one, it was clear that the dog was dreaming of being a wolf, etc., but take something like Alice in Wonderland. . . it's weird, out there, and there isn't too much explanation.

I say leave it up in the air at the end in future scripts. Maybe not this one though, the dog is a good twist.

Hope my ramblings made sense.

Good work with this.

Thanks for the read Tommy. If you dig trippy I look forward to your review on another one of my shorts I will get round to posting here someday.

Hey Glenn

This was a very creative script. I really didnt understand the musical chairs bit though which a few people have commented on. The wolf missing the knife twice made that scene a bit legthly.

To be honest the whole thing creeped me out a bit, thinking about this murderous little dog and his twisted dreams.

I liked the descriptions. I had a good clear idea in my head of what you were describing. Its just understanding of the script as a whole was the hard part.

John