All screenplays on the simplyscripts.com and simplyscripts.net domain are copyrighted to their respective authors. All rights reserved. This screenplaymay not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.
Halo Wins by Sandy Beach - Short, Family Horror - A "scary" little girl helps a brainy little worm who has name and gender issues define himself. - pdf, format
I really disliked it first of all. It doesn't meet the challenge at all, as there is absolutely no festival here, and the only horror involved is from the worm's point of view, not the audience who reads this.
I have absolutely no idea what "Halo Wins" even means, although there are a number of references to it in the script. Not sure what I'm missing here, but this is pretty pointless. The humor does nothing for me, either, but I guess ti could be funny to some.
I just couldn't get into this and it has alot to do with the first line.
You introduce us to all your characters like they aren't important. Dad and mom have no look to them neither do the kids. Are they girls boys are they anthropomorphic birds. I don't get it.
That just totally took me out of it and I couldn't really see what you were presenting or really couldn't get your joke. I guess it just was over my head maybe someone else will get this.
I wasn't feeling this one either. The only "horror" aspect I saw was with the crazy girl and the bird (without giving away any spoilers). Plus she gets away with it, which is alarming. I wouldn't want my kids to read something like this and think that was okay.
I didn't really get the jokes, either. Maybe it went over my head as well.
Worms? Isolda and Tristan? Halo wins? I was very confused as to what the point of this story is. Perhaps after the writers are announced you'll let us know?
Hahaha....this is a very funny Halloween themed script. It had me laughing out loud for some of the dialogue.
But honestly, I couldn't comment on how well you fit the challenge because you didn't. There is horror....for the worms, that is, not for the audience. The entire script is a transformational story for Gas....or Isolda, whatever.
It reads well and it can be a nice animated short, but I don't get why this script is in this challenge.
FEATURE:
Memwipe - Sci-Fi, Action, Thriller (114 pages) - In a world where memories can be erased by request, a Memory Erasing Specialist desperately searches for the culprit when his wife becomes a target for erasure -- with his former colleagues hot on his trail.
This is a really clever idea for a story. A worm family that lives in a pumpkin. And I thought the Halo Wins thing was cute.
However, the girl who kills the bird...uh...no.
This could be a cute kids story if you get rid of some elements - namely the girl who kills the bird. The fact that she saves the worms is basically Deus ex machina, anyway. Much better to have Gas save the family - oh, he helps with the halo bit but not enough.
No idea why Isolde and Tristan were invoked in this story but it's a distraction for those of us the recognise the reference because I don't see any similarities.
I think this was a good idea but it went awry, reign it in and you might have something here.
Sorry. I read this twice but still couldn't dig it(no pun intended).
i vaguely see what the writer is doing but even with my twisted sense of humour, i didn't find it funny. The actual writing and formatting were good.
It's good to see all the different takes on the theme, even ones I haven't enjoyed. I'll say it again - this is a tougher one than the music challenge.
As Niles had said, I can see this being like James and the Giant Peach, where when focusing on the worms could be animated, and focusing on the human family can be live action. I don't understand why some people can't figure out that Halo Wins means Halloween, the way the worms say it. It took me a while to figure it out, but only because I was reading it as "hay-lo" rather than "hal-o" (just like the first part of "Halloween"). And even if it's pronounced as "Hay-lo Wins" then still, it's cute and really not that challenging to figure out.
The dialogue was kind of weak and didn't seem so real at some times, and when Angel kills the bird, it's just not natural, even in a movie. You have to have kind of a traumatizing childhood to actually do something like that (just like Michael Meyers in the remake of Halloween).
Though, I did like the idea. It was interesting, but needs to be better executed. Your logline was a bit confusing, as I thought that the girl was actually going to befriend and communicate with the worm (to where they both talk to each other face to face), but it was really just her talking to him, and Gas just goes along with it.
But other than that, cute story except for the bird part.
Rendevous, did you write this? Are you playing games after our discussion on our experiences with worms?
... I don't think you did, but I have to at least express myself in that regard.
Regarding the script itself with no names attached, I feel that you have captivated me with something that I can honestly say that I feel I wrote a few days ago. Like I walked inside of your mind in the cool evening and played a few games and that's what I came out with.
What you wrote, I can relate to. There's a lot of substance here and I enjoy it.
I'd like to come back to this and read it again but I've been on a lot of planes and plunked down in airports and I'm hardly in good condition right now to provide thorough scrutiny. Suffice it to say that YOU are my second read....
And I'll say again:
I have personal reasons for choosing your script up front.
As Niles had said, I can see this being like James and the Giant Peach, where when focusing on the worms could be animated, and focusing on the human family can be live action. I don't understand why some people can't figure out that Halo Wins means Halloween, the way the worms say it. It took me a while to figure it out, but only because I was reading it as "hay-lo" rather than "hal-o" (just like the first part of "Halloween"). And even if it's pronounced as "Hay-lo Wins" then still, it's cute and really not that challenging to figure out.
The dialogue was kind of weak and didn't seem so real at some times, and when Angel kills the bird, it's just not natural, even in a movie. You have to have kind of a traumatizing childhood to actually do something like that (just like Michael Meyers in the remake of Halloween).
Though, I did like the idea. It was interesting, but needs to be better executed. Your logline was a bit confusing, as I thought that the girl was actually going to befriend and communicate with the worm (to where they both talk to each other face to face), but it was really just her talking to him, and Gas just goes along with it.
But other than that, cute story except for the bird part.
Sean
Hi Sean,
I screwed around with "Halloween" too. Actually, not. All Halls Eve or something to that effect is just history. The problem in my script (as usual) is that I'm trying to pack too much in.
In my world, I'm too much in love with the moment and thus I just "go with it". When I do that, I sacrifice because my readers need to go through scrutinies that they usually can't handle. They want to give me a good thorough kick and say, "Get Lost!".
The only answer to this dilemma, as far as I know right now is to
Take one incident within my script, forget the rest, and:
Pages: 1, 
Author
OWC - Halo Wins
Logged
Locked Board