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Cumbara by Guy Wire - Short, Family Horror - A little girl strives to save the only talking pumpkin from a nasty scarecrow and his rat minions at the annual harvest festival. (Family agricultural horror) - pdf, format
You really captured the spirit of the challenge. Strange indeed! Very inventive characters and yet a somehow believable (and well told) story. The montage of Molly searching for Seedspitter was especially clever. Nice touch on the ending too...
A perfect 10! You could not have captured the spirit of this competition any better. I liked the characters - very original. The concept was unique and had Disney cartoon written all over it.
I was eager to continue reading and thought your pacing was excellent. The plot was nuanced and filled with tension.
You definitely have a talent for children's stories.
Very original story. Almost too much going on here for your mythos. Usually, these strange worlds take some time to settle in. The scale's also a little too big for a 12 page short. Still, for something that was compiled in a week, most excellent. I loved the names and the descriptions of the characters, especially Bramblethorn. Very sinister. I'd suggest you expand this into something bigger. If not a feature, at least a longer short. It's got potential, I think.
I love words and the fact that when the page is blank...there's nothing there until words are formulated in my brain. Those thoughts...rushing through my viens and out my finger tips, find "life" on the page.
When people and places come to life...that to me is exciting.
MBCgirl =) My finger nails should look nice while I type - Red works!
Yeah, this had all the essential ingredients for the challenge. the writing was good and it moved nicely. The setting and characters were different - this would make a good animation.
i had no idea what a cumbara was from the title. Nice effort.
This is good! Defintely meets the challenge, also.
Well written, concieved, and very unique. Obviously, this would only work in an animated film, but there's nothing wrong with that at all.
Only problem, other than a bunch of missing commas, is on page 9, where Molly says, "OMG!" The way it's written, she's merely saying 3 letters here, which doesn't make much sense.
OK who's been smoking the fatty boom batty? This was excellent and really touched all the aspects of the theme. It's beautifully written throughout and was very enjoyable. No real problems with it, well done, great job.
Check out my scripts...if you want to, no pressure.
This was clever and original. Very good fit for this OWC. Considering you had one week to piece this tale together, excellent job. One of my favorites so far.
This is quite good. Your script fits the challenge very well and the story is entertaining.
At first I thought this is a weird script with talking pumpkins and scarecrow, but as the story progresses I got more used to them. The ending is both satisfying and troubling.
The writing is clear. I didn't catch any typos.
Excellent job on this OWC!
FEATURE:
Memwipe - Sci-Fi, Action, Thriller (114 pages) - In a world where memories can be erased by request, a Memory Erasing Specialist desperately searches for the culprit when his wife becomes a target for erasure -- with his former colleagues hot on his trail.
This one was recommended to me in a thread somewhere and I forgot about it until it rose to the top of the portal page... So, I wanted to give it a read before I lost it again.
When reading this I instantly felt as if it would be illustrated in animated fashion like those little Halloween decorations you place on your front door. The ones with cartoon witches, pumpkins and scarecrows all over them. Well, I don't but people do... Anyways, I don't know about fitting the challenge... or what not, but I gather, after reading enough of these OWC scripts, that it had to contain 3 things -- Horror - Family and a festival. On that merit you made it.
It was a bit slow and cumbersome, not because the writing rather because the lack of anything "real" going on. I think it works and lends itself to the overall story, though. I also really liked the use of names within the script... Very original and easy to discern.
Good read... Solid concept. 2nd best OWC script I've read and that's saying something cos I've read 16 of them and only liked 3 of them. I'll probably read this one again, truth be told.
Pages: 1, 
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OWC - Cumbara
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