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Eww, nice job, Ed. Your title drew me in straight away.
Not much to offer by way of suggestions, except perhaps here:
GREG Look, about that... the judging bit.
Maybe call it the 'tasting'?
PRODUCER (O.S.) We've done this already, your agent negotiated a farcically fucking substantial bonus.
That line hit its target. I chuckled.
It was kinda inevitable that someone was going to become an additional main course.
You met the brief well. You depicted everything in glorious bad taste and gory detail, and Google* helped me with a quick lesson in who each of the contestants were. A little surprised there was no guest judge with a Jeffrey Dahmer relative? It wasn't laugh out loud funny for me, but then it didn't have to be, and this is a personal taste thing. Yep, another pun.
I didn't get the Danny Green reference, but I suspect this is a 'in the know' cultural thing.
Lots of typos, which obviously can be fixed, and might be down to deadline?
Very good use of satire, selling out, and anything for TV ratings. Nice job. Revolting. But nice.
It's well done. Yes, it's obviously gross but that's the point. Maybe title could use work?? I'm a little scared to say I could see where it was going - if that matters? Well written - could feel the setting with the oohs and awes and Greg with the "Amazings". Good job.
Tbf, TV reality shows are done to death (and also famous) in terms of mockumentaries and satires. So given the title, it is kind of expected that a gorefest will take place at the end. Typos are also persistent throughout.
Aside from this, a nice story with a gross-out element in it. But also predictable in hindsight as well, unfortunately.
I liked this one until the end. It kind of got out of hand. IMO, if you had stayed with the tone prior, it would probably have worked out better. Maybe have Greg actually trying some of the food. First gagging and we're convinced he will puke, but then he surprises us by actually liking it.
Lots of typos. I'm pretty sure you meant Hippie and not Hippy.
A good short but not (in my definition) really a mockumentary. It's just a farce of Master Chef. Entertaining but no real laugh out loud moments. Nigri confused me until I realized that you meant nigiri.
This kinda reminded me of a Monty Python sketch. Absurdist humor, gross. Most of this didn’t land with me, but I didn’t hate it and I’m not sure why. I’m not sure what I was expecting here. The ending fit the rest of the story, and it was consistent throughout, so good on that. However, I guess a sketch of this nature didn’t need to have a fully fleshed out story and I think that’s what bothered me about it. It wasn’t reLly a story as much as a sketch.
It's not a mockumentary if we're being honest. But it's weirdly gross and both enjoyable and offputting at the same time. I kind of was expecting one thing at the end and certainly didn't expect what we got, so good job in going in that direction.
I just wish you had gone with the mockumentary route and I think you could have done some really interesting things, interviewing the contestants, Greg, etc., because I think that would have been a really solid effort. Still good job on this and best of luck with it.
Some of my scripts:
Bounty (TV Pilot) -- Top 1% of discoverable screenplays on Coverfly I'll Be Seeing You (short) - OWC winner The Gambler (short) - OWC winner Skip (short) - filmed Country Road 12 (short) - filmed The Family Man (short) - filmed The Journeyers (feature) - optioned
Fist off, that definitely didn't didn't feel like a mockumentary to me. Having said that the writing was clean and crisp, albeit with a handful of typos.
No real laugh out loud moments for me, but I read it with a smile on my face.
Ending was a bit of a let down for me. Actually found the idea of him having to eat what they made more interesting.
Hmmmm...wonder how you become one of the World's leading cannibals. LOL.
So this was more of a spoof on Master Chef than a mockumentary. Not a mockumentary at all, actually. But it was entertaining...and gory. I think you give away too much in your title. We go in pretty much knowing what's going to happen in terms of it ending up a cannabalistic gorefest.
The writing was very good. A very easy read. And there were some funny lines scattered throughout. Just missed the mockumentary vibe for me.
The satire of the dialogue isn't refined enough. You can see the twist coming a mile away, which sort of diminishes the twist, unfortunately. The dialogue in the middle pages was the best. Yeah, act 2 was the best. If you could bottle that and sprinkle it over acts 1 and 3, you've got a winner. Reminded me a lot of the "Tales From the Crypt" episode, "Television Terror". The satire and darkness needs to be turned up a hell of a lot, but you're on the right track. Honestly, not a whole lot in the way of a Mockumentary, though.