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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    One Week Challenge    April, 2009 One Week Challenge  ›  OWC - Love Is All You Need
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  Author    OWC - Love Is All You Need  (currently 3800 views)
Don
Posted: April 11th, 2009, 4:33pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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Love Is All You Need by Bugs Bunny - Short, Drama - A secret is revealed during a family picnic. - pdf, format


Visit SimplyScripts.com for what is new on the site.


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michel
Posted: April 11th, 2009, 4:49pm Report to Moderator
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Short (too short?), crude and not good. This is definetely not a drama. "Memories" is a master piece compared to this one.  I can't see the writer's intent.


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Zombie Sean
Posted: April 11th, 2009, 5:02pm Report to Moderator
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I loved this one. No pun intended. Wait, yes it is. I can't stop laughing. I can imagine this being in a Robot Chicken episode...Or a Tim and Eric Awesome Show Great Job skit.

Sean


MY WEBSITE

CLICK A POSTER
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Astrid
Posted: April 11th, 2009, 6:04pm Report to Moderator
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I like this one, too. It's like one big middle finger. LOL. Anyway, its well written, well formatted and meets all the criteria.
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bobtheballa
Posted: April 11th, 2009, 9:29pm Report to Moderator
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Yikes. Poor grammar, no drama, there was a secret and a picnic though.

As for "scripts that didn't even try," I thought this one was funnier than "Memories" and it's the first script I've ever read written by a cartoon character.
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Dreamscale
Posted: April 11th, 2009, 10:26pm Report to Moderator
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Pathetic!  Embarrassing!  Really a total terd.  Another crap entry that didn't take anything seriously.  Not remotely funny.  This kind of shit shouldn't even be allowed to be posted.

What a waste!


To ski or not to ski...that's not even a question.
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steven8
Posted: April 11th, 2009, 10:56pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Dreamscale
Pathetic!  Embarrassing!  Really a total terd.  Another crap entry that didn't take anything seriously.  Not remotely funny.  This kind of shit shouldn't even be allowed to be posted.

What a waste!


I don't think it's any stretch of the imagination to think that the author did not feel they had just produced the next Citizen Kane when it was completed.  Dreamy, I'm beginning to wonder if folks don't just do this stuff to see if they can get your blood vessels to burst.  Seems to be working. . .

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Andrew
Posted: April 11th, 2009, 11:16pm Report to Moderator
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Well.... I am a little flummoxed as to why someone would enter this!

Comedy is so subjective! If I thought it was funny, I would probably be enthused about this, but I didn't and I'm not!

I look forward to the author's comments!

Andrew


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Shelton
Posted: April 11th, 2009, 11:22pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Andrew

I look forward to the author's comments!


I think this was written by the AMPTP's script machine.


Shelton's Website

Shelton's IMDb Profile

"I think I did pretty well, considering I started out with nothing but a bunch of blank paper." - Steve Martin
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Cam17
Posted: April 11th, 2009, 11:29pm Report to Moderator
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I'm guessing the author is British, from his use of the phrase the "lot of them."  Just a guess, though.  I have to admit, it was so damn primitive it made me laugh.  This really reads like something written by a high school freshman.  No drama, no dialogue, no characterization.  But the thought of this little bastard calling his family a bunch of creepy cunts...it made me laugh.


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Andrew
Posted: April 11th, 2009, 11:33pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Cam17
But the thought of this little bastard calling his family a bunch of creepy cunts...it made me laugh.


Haha!! That just really made me chuckle. I have no idea why, but the use of "little bastard" can be so funny when used correctly!


Quoted from Shelton
I think this was written by the AMPTP's script machine.


And possibly one or two more!

Andrew




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mcornetto
Posted: April 11th, 2009, 11:38pm Report to Moderator
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Looks like someone jizzed all over the OWC.
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The boy who could fly
Posted: April 11th, 2009, 11:41pm Report to Moderator
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This is a breathless, exciting story, heartbreaking and exhilarating at the same time........wait...that's Eberts review for slumdog, oh well, I think it fits for this one as well, me likey


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Shelton
Posted: April 11th, 2009, 11:42pm Report to Moderator
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This script makes me want to never write anything again.  There are probably some who are pleased by that.


Shelton's Website

Shelton's IMDb Profile

"I think I did pretty well, considering I started out with nothing but a bunch of blank paper." - Steve Martin
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Tommyp
Posted: April 12th, 2009, 12:05am Report to Moderator
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Continuity Is For Pussies...

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Hmmm interesting script. Don't really like it. At all. Too short... and to yuck...


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Sham
Posted: April 12th, 2009, 6:31am Report to Moderator
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Well, the format was correct. There was a picnic...and a secret...and...uhh...


Quoted from Dreamscale
Pathetic!  Embarrassing!  Really a total terd.  Another crap entry that didn't take anything seriously.  Not remotely funny.  This kind of shit shouldn't even be allowed to be posted.

What a waste!

Will I get banned for agreeing with Dreamscale? Because I can't believe I just spent some free time reading this crap.


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stebrown
Posted: April 12th, 2009, 7:15am Report to Moderator
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This made me laugh. Really was funny, the sort of stuff that could appear on a British sketch show.

I think it meets the criteria of the challenge, just.

Obviously this wasn't meant to be taken seriously and was just a bit of a laugh, no harm with doing that.


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Brian M
Posted: April 12th, 2009, 7:29am Report to Moderator
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Definitely written by someone from Britain. I laughed, but was pi**ed off at the same time that I just wasted several minutes of my time on it.
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JonnyBoy
Posted: April 12th, 2009, 7:48am Report to Moderator
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I get the feeling that this was produced in about five minutes, with no real thought put into it.

Meeting the competition criteria: this is not a drama. It just isn't. It's not even a comedy for me. However, since you have a family, a picnic, and a secret, I have to give you SOME points - 6/10
Characters: the only one with anything about them is Charlie. However, the other family members were creepy, I'll give you that. But as for actual characterisation? Not a great deal - 3/10
Dialogue: I didn't laugh at the punchline. In fact, my reaction was a Dr. Evil-style 'Riiight...'. Since the rest of the script is a build-up to this punchline, and the punchline didn't work for me, I can't really say ANY of it worked for me - 3/10
Story: none. Whatsoever. Also, I find it highly unlikely that the rest of the family would catch HIV from eating jizzed-on potato salad - 2/10
Writing/format: you have typos (in a two page script!), you're missing in and out transitions, but the format is generally okay - 5/10

TOTAL: 19/50


Guess who's back? Back again?
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cloroxmartini
Posted: April 12th, 2009, 1:24pm Report to Moderator
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Yeah.....







....no (x 20).

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cloroxmartini  -  April 13th, 2009, 1:33am
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BryMo
Posted: April 12th, 2009, 2:07pm Report to Moderator
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L.M.F.A.O

That's all this entry deserves.


Shorts:
Good Golly Miss Molly
No Place Like Home
New Moon Rising
Yuno - BRAND-*SPANKIN*-NEW!
The Ballad of Uncle Sam: An Anarchists Melody
Toy Soldier
This Modern Love
A Virgin State of Mind

A GUIDE TO MY LITERARY BABIES
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Murphy
Posted: April 12th, 2009, 8:43pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Dreamscale
Pathetic!  Embarrassing!  Really a total terd.


It is spelled Turd.




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Murphy
Posted: April 12th, 2009, 8:47pm Report to Moderator
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I have to admit I did laugh, loudly when I got to the end. I feel a little embarrassed admitting this.

Unlike others I have no problem with somebody using the OWC to throw something out there that is meant to shock, or make people laugh. This is a piece of crap, there is no denying that. But it is a funny piece of crap and hopefully the writer got it out of his system and said what he wanted to say.

Like Cornetto my first thought was that the OWC, or even the SS message board had just been jizzed on. Maybe that was the case, will be interesting to see who the writer is.

Well done, whoever you are. Hope it was worth the effort.

Revision History (1 edits)
cloroxmartini  -  April 12th, 2009, 9:03pm
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bert
Posted: April 13th, 2009, 12:15am Report to Moderator
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I wrote a OWC script once with the intention of having people hate it.  I did.  That was my goal.

It was a very short, disgusting, anonymous script -- and I deliberately set out to have post after post telling my how wretched it was.  Brea ripped my little script to shreds, much to my delight.

I suspect that was the author's intent here, too.  And I was quite surprised when my little script found a few fans -- as this one has.

I did not like this one much.  But I would hold off on roasting the author until I know who it is.  And I have a few suspects.  My guess is somebody is yanking your chain.  


Hey, it's my tiny, little IMDb!
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Grandma Bear
Posted: April 13th, 2009, 12:17am Report to Moderator
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Short and to the point. Followed the OWC assignment. You might not win an Oscar for this one, but it wasn't really the worst I've read either.

You get sort of a low grade for effort, but score high on following the assignment.

Cheers.  


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Grandma Bear
Posted: April 13th, 2009, 12:19am Report to Moderator
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Hey Bert, I remember yours. It was someone's candy treat/surprise for Halloween.  


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MBCgirl
Posted: April 13th, 2009, 12:34am Report to Moderator
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Some things are better left to the imagination!

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I'm pretty much speechless over this...but as most of you know I'll be finding some words to share my thoughts.

Talking about NOT Taking the OWC seriously...this is a perfect example.  I thought "Memories" was bad, but after reading this..."Memories" developed some redeeming qualities!    

Numerous basic writing mistakes in the first 3 paragraphs...crude and juvenile...and a waste of page.

Shelton says it makes him not want to write ever again...on the contrary my good friend Shelton...KEEP WRITING...someone should!

Morgan


http://www.myspace.com/mbcgirl  

I love words and the fact that when the page is blank...there's nothing there until words are formulated in my brain. Those thoughts...rushing through my viens and out my finger tips, find "life" on the page.  

When people and places come to life...that to me is exciting.


MBCgirl =)
My finger nails should look nice while I type - Red works!
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Abe from LA
Posted: April 13th, 2009, 5:52am Report to Moderator
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Yeah,  I thought the potato salad had a distinct mayo overload.
No doubt an Intentional Bad Squirt day for one writer.

Who would dare write this without a condom?
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George Willson
Posted: April 13th, 2009, 12:29pm Report to Moderator
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All right. I'll acknowledge that I read it, but that's about it. That wasn't even a joke. No build up at all.

It feels like a joke told by a sixth grader who just found out what jizz is. He tells his 6th grade friends this joke and they all laughs while the teachers roll their eyes and consider how stupid they'll think it is when they grow up.


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jayrex
Posted: April 13th, 2009, 1:00pm Report to Moderator
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Cut to three weeks earlier

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Another skit more suited to the short section.  This was okay.  Didn't meet the challenge but I guess this is a regular of SS who just wanted to screw with some peoples heads.


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rc1107
Posted: April 13th, 2009, 5:09pm Report to Moderator
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Eh.  Well I can't say it was a complete waste of time as it only took me about 48 seconds to read it.  But I can say honestly say I really didn't care for it.

Now, maybe if the author had really worked hard on an 8 page treatment building up drama and showing us the characters, then unloaded the aids and the potato salad...  that would have made something grand.

I think.  Or maybe it just would've pissed me off more.

Either way, although I thought it was a waste, I have to admit... I smiled.

- Mark


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Blakkwolfe
Posted: April 13th, 2009, 5:56pm Report to Moderator
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Might want to brush up the grammar, missed some commas in the dialogue...Technically, I don't know if  HIV can be transmitted in the manner that was described, but whatever...
Didn't find it terribly funny, either, but eh, that's just me...I'd expect better from my favowite wascawy wabbit...


Failure is only the opportunity to begin again more intelligently - Dove Chocolate Wrapper
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grademan
Posted: April 17th, 2009, 1:22pm Report to Moderator
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I laughed like I was in high school again. Anyhow, would it have been more British to say silly bunts? And how could you tell the mayo just hadn't gone bad? Seriously, I didn't like it as an OWC entry. Same for Memories.

Gary
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